We circle for a minute and search for an opening, then pouncing fast as a snake, he moves to my back and slides his arm around my neck. Scrambling away before he can lock it in, I flip around and charge toward his hips. He sprawls, drops his weight, and pins me to the mat. Again.
Motherfucker.
He flips his legs and pins me down, and on his revolution of my body, slips his arm under mine and pins it at a ninety-degree angle.
When I don’t tap right away, he adds pressure until I feel the sting in my shoulder. Knowing I can’t get out of it, I tap my palm to his leg twice and fall flat to the ground as soon as he releases my arm.
“What’s your problem, man?” He flops to the floor beside me. “You’re better than this. Do better, or lose.”
“Fuck you. You’re the expert. If I beat you, thenyouneed to do better.”
“Bullshit! I know you, B. We’ve been doing this forever. Doesn’t matter who you’re sparring with, we both know you’re better than this.” He turns to me with a heaving chest. “What’s on your mind?”
He’s my not so little, little brother, but he’s always been the quieter, more mature, more caring, of the four of us. We have no secrets in our group. No judgement. We talk all day long, so his request to talk it out is genuine. Something’s on my mind, so he wants to fix it.
But for the first time in my life, I choke on my words.
Something about Kit is different.
It’s like my body knows it, my soul knows it, but logic and common sense are still playing catch up. “It’s just that… well.” I pick at the mat nervously. “Well…” Annoyed with myself, I shake my head. “Girl trouble, I guess.”
I look up with an embarrassed smile, but he’s not teasing. “Is Kit no good for you, B?”
Trust him to arrow straight to the point. “Nah, she’s good. She’s amazing.”
“So, she’s not interested?”
“Yes and no. She can be a bit hot and cold.”
He scowls. “So, she’s playing games?”
“No games, either, she’s not like that. I think she’s just kind of,” I search for the right word, “world weary, I guess. Like she knows the world’s an ugly place. She’s tired of it.”
“Is she trouble?” I shake my head. “Is sheintrouble?”
I shake it again. “I’m not sure. I don’t think so. She just has a lot of stress in her life.”
“Where does Jack play into all this?” He sits back on his ass and bends his legs up. “Why does she bring him to training? Why did she put her own credit card details when filling out our paperwork?”
His attention to detail doesn’t surprise me in the least. I don’t know if I’m betraying personal trust by telling Aiden, but I don’t know how to explain without just… explaining. “Their dad died a few months back. Their mom died when they were little. It’s just the two of them, and now he lives with Kit.”
“Shit, that’s rough.” He studies the canvas floor in contemplation. “I get why she’s tired and stressed. To be playing mom at her age, to a teenager. That sucks.”
“Yeah, and from what I can gather, Jack’s not easy on her. Arguing, sneaking out, drinking. That sort of shit.”
“Alright, well we can definitely help with that.”
“Yeah, that’s what she figured. Get him into training; discipline, routine, respect – all stuff we can teach him.”
“So this is what has you distracted?” His teasing smile finally makes an appearance. “You have the hots for a mom.”
He wants me to bite, but I don’t have it in me. “I feel like the ‘hots’ isn’t the right word, though. Ifeelsomething deep inside me.” I clutch at my chest. “Like Ihaveto get to know her, you know? That’s crazy, right?” Before he can tell me I’m crazy, before he can validate my insanity, I rush on. “I met her one time. We danced. We kissed. She left. That’s it! This isn’t who I am. I get with chicks, we mess around, I leave. I don’t get attached, but this thing with Kit makes me sick to my stomach when she’s not around. I can’t stop thinking about her. I just… What the fuck?”
He shakes his head with a laugh. “You need to relax, B. Just slow it down. This is what most people call a crush. You’re not fifteen anymore, but it’s never too late to have your first crush, you know?”
“You’re not helping, asshole.”
He snorts. “You seriously need to chill. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing? Just spend time with her. Get to know her.”