She watches me with pursed lips. I can hear her thoughts; something about being stubborn and too independent for my own good.But she drops it quickly and goes to her desk.
“Head on back to the waiting room. I’ll print your images, and meet you out there in five. Everything looks perfectly fine to me.” She stops in front of me and grins. “You’re still clear. We’ll be back here around September for a full workup, so until then, maybe you could do something for you.”
My brows pull closer as she steps away. “Hmm?”
She shrugs. “I’m giving you homework. Do something that challenges you. Something that scares you.”
“I came here today.” I give a fake smile. “That scares me.”
She rolls her eyes. “Precisely. Do something else. Do something that has nothing to do with cancer. Do something that you wanted to do when you couldn’t because you were young and sick. Do something daring, and then tell me all about it at our next appointment.”
Do something daring.
Do something that scares me.
As I walk the halls and head toward the exit, I think about Doctor Rhodes’ orders. I know exactly what scares me more than cancer. I know what is daring, what is outrageous, what is different. I’m not sure having sex with a tattooed, cussing, gun-toting, scary Army Ranger is what she had in mind, but I still find myself sliding into my car on the second level of the parking garage and just sitting in it for a few minutes.
I hold the steering wheel with both hands, tap my fingertips in a rhythmic pattern, and tap my foot too, since I’m nervous as all heck and not sure if I’m ready to do my homework assignment today.
I nibble on my lips and stare out the windshield. There’s nothing much in front of me, just more parking spaces, more concrete, more cars. The forest encroaches on this side of town and butts against the corner of the parking structure, proving they cleared the land to build this ugly monstrosity.
Sitting back, I reach into my purse and take out my phone. Four texts; not so bad, considering.
I navigate straight to the group chat, because I don’t feel like saying the same thing five separate times, and type my message out.
Me:I just finished with Dr. Rhodes. She said everything looks fine. Back again in a few months for bloodwork.
Nixon:Awesome! That’s good news, Ab.
Mitch:You’re here right now? And you didn’t ask me to come with you?
Beckett:Dinner tonight? We need to celebrate.
Corey:I’m up for dinner. Beck’s at 7?
Troy:Attagirl. Kicking ass and taking names.
Mitch:Abby…?
I take a deep breath and try to embrace the way my heart slams around inside my chest. Embrace it, rather than let it control me.
Me:Actually,I’m not coming to dinner. I want to do my own thing tonight.
Mitch:Abigail Rosa! Absolutely not.
Me:You guys need to relax. I love you.
I toss my phone to the passenger seat and switch the engine on. Reversing out of the parking space, I push the car into drive and head home for a shower. I might be brave, or at least, I’m trying to be brave, but showering with him is still a no, and washing the gel off in his bathroom is another nope that I don’t intend to do or explain.
But going to him?
Yeah, I’m going to be brave tonight.