“You’ll say something if you’re not coping, though, right?” Jay beeps his shiny new truck open, but he stops before climbing in. “I’m not exactly the best guy to give you advice about this stuff, seeing as I struggle to let shit go, but if you’re having a bad day, you’ll come talk to one of us, right?”
“Sure.”No.
I clap his shoulder and climb into the passenger seat. I’m not going to talk to these guys about my past. I’ve put it behind me for a reason, even if that reason is a coping mechanism and dredging Gemma up would hurt me more than I can spare. The past is the past, and chatting about it won’t change a thing.
But as I stare out the window and let the soft breeze wash over my face, it’s a stark reminder why I should leave the beautiful Katrina alone. Guys in my line of work aren’t compatible with nice girls with a family to protect. It’s too much for them, too scary, too hot, and showing interest is a stupid move I should know better about.
I’ve gotta lock my shit up and ignore her existence. It’s for the best.
But I really don’t wanna.
* * *
I workJo’s security system, have it installed, tested, surveilled, and declared bug-free. Setting her up in Jay’s phone and laptop just as he requested, I pass her case over and walk away with a two-thousand-dollar check for Dolly to bank and a sense of satisfaction that the single mom is now safe in her own home.
On top of that, I spend time with Soph as we work through some of therumblingsthat have come through her computer since Colum Bishop was executed and removed from the helm of his empire. These rumblings hint at ground-level drug dealers who still have product to move despite Colum’s disappearance. Girls like Nora and her sister, Lisa, were being led to filthy clubs where they end up dead or worse, and though Nora may be the case we’re most invested in, hers is far from the only.
These girls are just sixteen, seventeen, eighteen years old, and when they thought they were going out for a night of dancing and flirting with boys, they were actually being led to their deaths in the most brutal way possible. Nora survived her brush with cocaine and bad people because of Kane’s protection, but not before watching her sister’s cold-blooded execution.
It’s no wonder she’s holed up at home with her mom and dad and not allowing even her friends in.
Jay, Kane, and I aren’t cops anymore, so technically this isn’t our business. The moment we handed our badges back in last March is the moment we should have walked away, but it all ties back to what we were doing while we worked undercover in this town, and not one of us can walk away from a job half done. So we take legitimate clients to make Checkmate Security look above board and give the IRS something real to audit, but when we’re not installing security systems in single moms’ homes, investigating cheating spouses, or protecting people from abusive fucks, we work with Sophia, our computer genius, with the intention to clear the streets of the dirty product these clubs were peddling.
A little bit of cocaine. A little fentanyl. And a whole lot of washing detergent to fill it out and kill their paying customers.
I made promises to myself that I would leave Katrina alone, but I’ll be fucked if I can stop dropping by the diner on a day-to-day basis. It’s like a sick codependency; I tell myself today will be the day I stop going, but somehow my brain switches off long enough for me to make my way there and slide into my booth. Next thing I know, my brain switches back on, and I’m caught staring at Katrina’s tits again.
Knowing I should stay away, andactuallystaying away are two completely different things, and so far, I’m losing that battle. I should be ashamed of myself, what with Kane’s baby news floating through the air and our talk in Jo’s home fresh in my mind. Iknowthat I should stay away, and I know why, but somehow my feet continue walking that way and don’t rest until I get a look at the beautiful waitress with a smart mouth and a mile-wide streak of pride.
Three times a day, I eat, I watch her with hungry eyes and tingling hands, but I don’t demand her attention anymore. Last week was a moment of weakness for us both, the explosion after two bad moods meet in the same place at the same time. Asking her out and being told no was the trigger I needed to pull myself back in, to get my shit under control, and to lock it away before everything goes to shit again. Because every time I blink, I see Callie’s smiling face and that missing front tooth. When I lie in bed at night and close my eyes, I see her honeycomb hair, the wavy locks, and the smile that brought me to my knees every time she wanted to use it against me.
It’s dangerous for me to seek that kind of weakness again, so I clamp my mouth shut and stop asking for the specials. And if Tammy gets to my table first, I give her my order, then I leave again with a full belly and a clear conscience.
That’s the way it should be.
Until it’s not.
“Franky?” Katrina rushes through the diner a few days after the day in Jo’s home, with her hair floating loose and her handbag swinging from her arm. “Franky? Oh!” She stops on a dime when she almost runs face-first into her cook. “Shit, you scared me.”
Stefan crosses his arms and studies her with a smirk. “You gotta slow down, sweet pea. You’re gonna hurt yourself if you keep racing around.” I sit in my booth and pretend I’m not listening to everything they say, though of course, her every word grips me. I eat the food Tammy brought me, scowl at the chicken burger that won’t fill my belly no matter how lemony or zesty it is, but I didn’t want to order beef unless it came with Katrina’s relish, and in my silence, I watch Katrina hurriedly push her messy hair back and catch her breath. “You got a fire to get to, or you just enjoy tempting the universe and hoping it drops you on your ass?”
“Sorry.” She pushes past him and rushes into the hall. “I was running because I’m late.”
“Nobody’s watching the clock, hon. Did you get your car into Alesi’s?”
“Yup!”
I sit forward at my booth and stretch my neck to peer down the hall. I watch her rush into a room and slam the door, only for her to reemerge twenty seconds later with her hair hidden beneath that scarf and an apron tied around her trim waste. “It’s in, and Angelo promises it’ll be ready by the time I’m off shift today.”
Stefan narrows his eyes. “You’ll pick it up in the morning, right?”
“Uh-huh.” She bustles past her large cook and moves back into the main section of the diner. I sit back and try my damnedest to appear as though I’m minding my own business. “He said he’d leave the key under the wheel well and I can take it whenever I want. He said we can settle the bill whenever I get back there. I’m just super glad I’ll have a reliable car again.” Swinging past the coffee pot and sweeping it up out of habit, she smiles and makes my stomach hurt with the way happiness radiates from her skin. “Everything’s finally looking up again.”
“All because of a car?” Stefan drops his hand to his hip and leans against the door frame. “You’re this happy because of a car?”
“It’s not just a car,” she sighs. Practically dancing as she moves, she fills coffee mugs at each table, including mine without a second look. It’s like I’m invisible, and that both relieves and guts me in the same breath. “It’s freedom, Stefan. It’s independence. And it probably has something to do with the fact I heard that Zeke was arrested today for speeding.”
“Speeding?” Stefan’s jowls turn red. “What?”