“I would like you to let us auction you off for a fun-filled date,” Mom said, purposely not looking at him.
“An auction? You have got to be kidding me, Mother,” I said incredulously. “I asked for a bride. I said ‘I want a Mia,’ and you come up with an auction?”
“Oh, stop being dramatic, Trey,” Mom said. “Did you learn that from Murphy? The girls love you and, frankly, you love the girls.”
“Well, that’s true,” I waggled my eyebrows. “But I am trying to change things, if you remember.”
“It’s for charity. It’s a date for one night,” Mom said. “I didn’t say marry the girl.”
“However, you will get me my own special bride, right?” I asked.
“I don’t know if he should be allowed in an auction, Mom,” August said, pouring himself a cup of lemonade. “Earlier today I heard him telling Sophie he believes in unicorns. I think the old man could be losing his mind.”
I suppressed a groan and started helping Diana with the baskets. “I’m not even going to remark on that,” I said. “Ah, Asher, just in time. Grab the cookies and come over here and help me out of Mom’s crazy notions.”
“No one can get you out of your messes like Mom, so I vote on her side.” Asher slapped me on the back as he tossed the cookies on the table and lowered himself into the chaise by the firepit.
“Just tell her not to do this to me,” I begged to the room full of men. “Why don’t you do it?”
My younger brothers, the twins, were a united front against anything and everything that happened growing up, not just with family but with school, friends, you name it. It had always been them against the world. There was no amount of pleading that would change that.
“Just help Mom and do your usual lady-slayer thing,” August said.
“I’m going to pretend I did not just hear that,” I said, laughing. “You make it sound like I kill them.”
“I have a perfect idea,”Mom said, “I think both of you should be in the auction.”
“Exactly, Mom,” Asher said.
“Great,” I said.
“Wait! What? Why us?” We asked in unison.
“What about Parker? Why doesn’t he have to do it, too?” Asher asked.
“For starters, Parker is married, that’s why,” Murphy said, walking into the room and pouring herself a drink.
“I can’t do it, Mom. I have a girlfriend,” Asher said. “And you’ve been all over me to behave.”
“No way. I don’t do it unless he does too,” I objected. “And she is not your girlfriend, Asher. You’ve only been on a few dates.”
I joined Mom at the table to help count the Easter treat giveaways for the charity event. I was very much enjoying the ridiculousness of the twins. It was like they were twelve again, arguing over a bicycle.
“Do not try to analyze me, August,” Asher said. “You’re not a psychologist, so you don’t get the green light to study me.”
“We really need popcorn and a soda for this,” I said to Mom and Murphy, who were now laughing.
“I have wine. Does that count?” Murphy asked.
“I don’t have to analyze you. I’m your twin. I know how you think,” August said.
We all could hear the girls coming through the foyer, so Mom decided to put an end to the bickering.
“Okay, it’s settled, then,” Mom said loudly. “The three of you will do the auction.”
No one said a word. Mia and Chloe looked from one son to the next.
“What’s happening?” Chloe asked.