It was sweet as shit that he’d asked, that he could tell, but also a little unnerving. “Just not feeling great,” I lied, but I was scared that if we kept talking, I’d end up saying, It started over dick, but now that doesn’t do the trick. The two of us share so much laughter. I want to be your happily ever after. Followed by a side of, That means I love you, and then adding for good measure, Also, my dad will be in town tomorrow, so come have lunch with us, please?
“Lacrosse,” he said when I tried to walk away.
There was no doubt in my mind he didn’t believe me. “Later, okay?”
“Yeah, okay,” he said, then kissed me again, which made my toes curl.
We kept an eye on each other all night, and I couldn’t help wondering if this was what it felt like for everyone. Had my dad ever felt this way about my mom? And if so, how could he have ever wanted someone else instead?
When our shift ended, we walked together toward Liberty Court, where Brax had left his motorcycle. One of the guys in the stoner house was letting him use his parking spot.
“What happened, Ty? Tonight wasn’t like you.”
No, it wasn’t, was it? “Do I have to talk about it?” I asked in my best whining voice.
“Nope. But I’d appreciate it if you did.”
“I hate it when you act more grown-up than me.”
He grinned. “So you hate me all the time?”
“Basically.” We walked for a couple of minutes in silence before I said, “My dad is coming to town tonight. I agreed to have lunch with him tomorrow, and I’m kinda freaking the fuck out about it.”
“Shit. Way to drop it on you at the last minute.”
“Right? But that’s what he does. He caught me off guard, and hell, I think he knows I won’t ignore him in real life.” He had more power over me than I wanted to admit. “He wants you to come, by the way.”
His voice was huskier when he asked, “Do you want me to?”
“Yes.” It was true. I wanted Brax there. Somehow I knew that would make it easier.
“Okay, then I’ll be there.”
The courtyard outside Adler was quiet when we arrived. I motioned toward one of the picnic tables, and Brax followed me over. I sat on top, and he stood between my legs, hooking his finger beneath my chin and tilting my head up so I looked at him. The moon sat high in the sky, shedding light down on us. “I’m sorry. You okay?”
I was right then, at that moment, with him. I nodded, leaned in, brushed his lips with mine. Brax opened up, letting me lick my way inside. He tasted familiar, felt familiar. I wrapped my legs around him. His hand tangled in my hair, and God, why did this feel so good? What made someone the one for another person? Because whatever it was, Brax was that for me.
When our lips parted, I dropped my head to his chest. He tickled my nape with the tips of his fingers. “You can do this. You can tell him. You’ll feel better when you do.” My spine stiffened. I was pretty sure Brax felt it, and while he didn’t let go of me, his gentle circles on my nape stopped. “Is that not what you’re worried about? Are you going to tell him?”
Shame singed my skin, made my gut roll. Why was this so hard? Why did I care what my dad thought? Why did I still want to make him proud? “I don’t know. Why does it matter? It’s not like you deal with your brother any better.” The snippy words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them. I wasn’t even sure why I’d said it. Embarrassment? All that shame I couldn’t tamp down?
Brax pulled away, his lips in a hard line. “What the fuck are you even talking about? All I did was ask a question. What does this have to do with me and Asher?”
“It’s how you said it,” I doubled down, the whole time my brain telling my mouth to shut up, but it wouldn’t listen. “It was judgy.” And we both knew that Brax could be that way.
He crossed his arms and shook his head. “Maybe that’s your guilty conscience talking. Don’t take your anger for your dad and yourself out on me. I didn’t do shit.”
The guilty-conscience comment made my pulse spike. “You act like I’m the only one who wants to keep the peace, Brax. Like I’m the only one who stands up for myself but just to a certain point before I accept shit. You do the exact same thing. Hell, you’re letting your brother do God knows what in your grandma’s house just so you don’t have to deal with him.”