No, but this thing with Ty might be slowly killing me. “No such luck.”
“What are you doing today?” Asher asked. It was a Friday, and I didn’t have class. Ty didn’t either. It was frustrating I knew that.
“Going to see Grandma. You should consider it. How long has it been?”
He blew out an annoyed breath. “Yeah, I get it. You’re a better grandson than me. She knows I love her. I’ll get over there soon. Shit’s just been busy.” And by shit, he meant partying. “What about you? When’s the last time you went to see Dad?”
“Haven’t and don’t plan to. That’s totally fucking different. He’s serving time for armed robbery, something he tried to get his sons to go in on with him, if you remember. She’s in an assisted-living facility. Fuck off with that comparison.”
“You always act like you’re better than me, Brax, but you’re not. It doesn’t matter that you’re trying to be someone you’re not by going to that stupid fucking school. You came from the same piece-of-shit parents, and no matter what, we’ll both likely end up just like them. There’s no shame in the game.”
“Fuck you.” I shoved him. Asher just shook his head, pushed me back, and walked out of the room. “Clean up your mess from last night!” I called after him, trying my best to ignore the voice in my head that told me he was right. Like always, I failed.
“It’s gorgeous out today.” Grandma reached back and patted my hand as I pushed her wheelchair into the courtyard. She’d had health problems for years, but then had broken a hip, which was what had made her decide to stay in a facility. I would have kept her at home, where she belonged, and taken care of her, but she’d insisted.
“It is.” I found a grassy spot for us to relax, locking her chair before sitting on the ground beside her. Palm trees dotted the scenery around the Spanish architecture of her facility.
“How’s school going?”
“All right.” There’s this guy, Ty, who’s driving me crazy.
She tapped me with her foot. “Geez, don’t be too talkative.”
I chuckled. “Sorry. It’s going okay. I helped this lacrosse player study the other day. Also, Manny has a new girlfriend. Mama G hates her.”
“Mama G hates all his girlfriends. Tell me about this lacrosse player.”
“It’s not like that.” Her mind likely went to a potential boyfriend, someone I might like.
“It’s okay if it was, ya know? Have fun, Braxton. Date boys and have sex. That’s what college is supposed to be about.”
“Um…aren’t you too old to talk about that? Aren’t you supposed to be telling me to be responsible and focus on my future?”
“No. If I were talking to your brother, I would tell him to keep it in his pants and get his shit together. You’re my sweet boy wrapped in a brooding package, who likes to pretend his heart isn’t the size of San Luco.”
Brooding. First Ty and now my own grandma? “I don’t brood.”
“You’re the definition of brood.”
If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought Ty got to her. Ty, who wanted to be a nurse and—stop thinking about that motherfucker. “You’re being very mean to your favorite grandson.”
She laughed. “You’re a joy, Brax. I just wish you knew it.”
Pressure built in my chest, suffocating me. “I know how awesome I am.”
“No, you don’t. So…the lacrosse player?”
“There’s nothing to tell.” When she cocked a brow, I knew I was fucked. “I don’t know… He’s blond, rich, spoiled, cocky as fu—heck. He’s decided it’s his mission in life to annoy me as much as possible. Unfortunately, he’s good at it.”
“You like this lacrosse player.”
“Huh?” My pulse sped up. “No, I don’t. He makes me crazy.”
“Which is how you know. Your grandfather drove me crazy.”
“Grandpa wasn’t Ty. I don’t date jocks.”
“You don’t date anyone.”
I lay back on the grass, wishing my pulse wasn’t suddenly running the fifty-yard dash. “Gee, thanks. Way to boost a guy’s ego.”
“You know that’s not what I meant. It’s okay to let people in, Brax. It’s okay to care about someone other than me and Manny. I know you haven’t had great role models, but you’re not your father, and your relationship won’t be the same as his was with your mom. You’re more worthy of love than anyone I know.”
This wasn’t the conversation I’d thought I would be having today. Was it possible to melt into the ground? Maybe turn camouflage so she couldn’t see me? “Who I am has nothing to do with my parents, and you’re getting way ahead of yourself here. There’s zero chance of anything even close to love ever happening between me and Lacrosse. He’s hot, sure, but even the thought of falling in love with him gives me hives.”
“Maybe you should see a doctor.”
I looked at her and smiled. “Ha-ha.”