It's not unusual that I can’t sleep and even less so when I find my thoughts drifting off to try remember the past I’ve forgotten. It was fourteen years ago that I was placed in foster care, and only one singular year since I aged out of the system. But this is the first time I remember not feeling so hollow inside.
Since the nightmare I had out in the woods, I remember little things about that time. Not much. Pretty much nothing. Brown eyes. Long brown hair. Children’s drawings on the walls. Green sofa. They’re barely even fragments, there’s not film reel in my mind. Just these repeated images in quick succession.
I lay in the bed beside Peyton before pushing to my feet. I don’t think about what I’m doing or where I’m going but find myself out on an iron balcony overlooking the most crystal-clear lake I think I’ve ever seen. Another smaller lake flashes across my mind but it’s gone before I can truly hold it.
Even though the day is deciding to begin, the stars and moon glimmer across the water, shining against the reflective orange and pink of a new day. The air out here is so clear, and I shut my eyes to take in big unopposed lungfuls. I hear the playful chirping of birds nearby and the squark of one not quick as nice to listen to, but I don’t want to leave this moment.
I don’t know when he comes up behind me, maybe sometime when the stars tucked themselves away for another day of sleep, or when the sun rose just enough for me to feel the warmth on my face and melt the chill in my bones, but Nash steps up behind me.
He doesn’t say anything at first, just leans over and gives me a fresh cup of coffee that I accept without hesitation. He listens to the same sounds I am, but something is missing for him, and he turns to look at me with inquisition.
“What are you doing?” He doesn’t sound accusatory, like he’s genuinely curious.
I take another deep breath, savoring this moment in case I never get another one quite like it, before answering him. “Just taking it all in.”
It’s a simple enough answer. Nash, though, he needs more. “Taking what in, exactly?”
I look up at him for the first time this morning. His hair is tousled like he tried to sleep but found himself tossing and turning all night. He wears a pair of sweatpants low on his hips and a grey hoodie. His hands are tucked into the front pocket as he takes me in from head to toe.
“Everything.” He doesn’t seem to understand what I mean, so I elaborate. “The air smells fresher here and I don’t think I can remember a time where I got to just enjoy the birds. That’s a funny thing, isn’t it? Appreciation? I hear birds all the time, but I don’t have the time to enjoy them, not like I do right here on your balcony.” I give him my sweetest smile, trying to convey how much this moment means to me right now. He says nothing, just stands there silently and watches the water ripple in the morning breeze.
I take a big gulp of my coffee before clearing my throat, turning to face him. “Happy birthday Nash. I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything. I wish I had a good excuse but… actually, you know what, no one telling me it was your birthday is actually a very good excuse.”
His laugh is low and void of humor, but he thanks me anyway. I think he’s about to turn tail and head back inside, but he surprises me, and not for the first time.
“There’s something that you can give me.” I hum at him, urging him to continue as he moves closer to me until we’re shoulder to shoulder, both still facing the lake, even if that’s not really what we’re looking at.
“How about a kiss?”
“A kiss?” I ask disbelievingly. This sex god of a man wants a kiss frommefor his birthday? Why? I ask him as much and he laughs at me again, bumping his shoulder against mine gently, before tilting his head down closer to mine.
“Because I want it, and right now you can’t run again.”
I don’t know which of us closes the distance, but this kiss is nothing like our last. Where our first kiss was filled with urgency, desire and the energy of the bar. This kiss is soft, not so much a battle of wills as a slow dance as our tongues move against each other. His hand moves to my lower back, pulling me closer to him as he deepens the kiss impossibly further. I moan into his mouth, wrapping my arms around his neck pulling him into me as he consumes my damn soul with every second he’s pressed against me.
A throat clearing behind us breaks the spell and I jump away from him, hiding my head a little from view. His soft laugh is the only thing I hear as he tucks a piece of hair behind my ear.
I look up to see Jack frowning down at the ground. “Breakfast is ready.” Then he spins on his heel, slamming the door firmly behind him.
Chapter Twenty-Five
My outfit is freaking flawless. I love it. Okay, well it’s Peyton’s outfit that she packed for me, but it looks amazing, and I think about begging her to keep it but know that I never will. The top is a black crop halter top that crosses over at the neck. The deep style of the cross leaves a large portion of my breasts exposed and with the bodice is decorated in lace, there’s a fun amount of skin on display without exposing myself. I paired it with high-waisted black jeans and a lacy black flats.
I was in serious danger of a nip slip and Peyton has been helping me tape those bad boys down so that in her words, one of the guys don’t bust a nut as soon as we walk downstairs.
Peyton and I had a lot to say on my choice of shoes. I want my regular ones, she demanded heels, we compromised in the middle so neither of us are happy.
Peyton on the other hand is looking fierce. She went with a skintight white dress with a deepV,exposing half her chest as much to her brother’s dismay, and threw a tanned leather jacket over top. Her six-inch strappy heals could honestly be considered weapons and she went a little heavier than usual on her eye makeup. Peyton looks like the epitome of sexy rock goddess.
“Jesus fucking Christ.” I hear Jack mumble under his breath as soon as we enter the living room where the boys have started pouring pre-drinks, before he walks off and the slam of a door is heard down the hall.
I turn on the group quickly, widening my eyes at all of them with my arms in the air. “What the fuck have I apparently done now?”
Nash is scrubbing a hand over his face as he devours me with his eyes. I can see the lust building the longer he continues to stare at me, and I clench my thighs in response.
“You’re not dense, darling. You come out here looking that fucking… you know what, I can’t think of exactly how you look, but he knows those are his sisters clothes and he’s probably simultaneously wanting to throw you over his shoulder and drag you upstairs and disgusted in himself for wanting to do so.”
I look down at myself again. I know I look damned good, so I fill in Nash’s blank word with all of descriptors I feel about myself and skip over to them for a drink. Leo hands me something that smells a little tangy and even though it doesn’t suit my usual tastes, it’s better than anything I could make.