Nightmares have always haunted my sleep, taking from me the only solace a person truly has. Instead, I’m plagued with nightmares, faded memories that dissipate when the sun is high in the sky, and I again remember nothing but the softness of a woman’s smile.
The feel of burning has me tucking my legs up to my chest, a hand trailing over the ever-present molten scar on my calf. I feel every patch of softened, stretched skin, like the layers are thinner and more malleable than other areas. It feels forever cold, lost in a memory that comes and goes from my unconscious mind. I don’t remember who I was before I was placed in the system. I don’t always remember how I got my scar. But when I close my eyes and wish, a lightness washes over me. It feels warm and calm, like a soft embrace. Untouchable and untainted. Home.
I feel the bed dip closer to me as a mint and woodsy scent invades my nostrils. I open my eyes again and look over at Leo. The furrow in his brow is telling of concern, or maybe I’m misreading him. It’s also very likely that it’s confusion.
My eyes trail over his face, until I spot the reddening of his nose. A few drops of blood dripping from his nose towards his lip. I bit my lip as I mumble a quick sorry. He either doesn’t hear me or isn’t worried as he continues to move closer to me slowly, like he was approaching a wild animal. I guess he is, I did just hit him. How many people get attacked for waking someone up? Well, honestly, not enough, otherwise people would let others enjoy their damned sleep. But I digress.
His hand tentatively touches my knee, and I shiver under his touch on my bare skin. He keeps moving until he’s sitting beside me with his back against the wall, still looking at me all the while. I don’t know why I do it, but I hesitantly move and cover his hand with my own before closing my eyes once more.
A few minutes pass in silence before he gently squeezes my fingers so that I’ll look over at him. I’ve never seen him look so unsure before as he licks his lips like he’s nervous. Clearing his throat, he asks me quietly. “Are you okay?”
I release a heavy sigh before running my fingers down the ends of my hair, giving him a tentative nod in response. It hits me then that I’m sitting here with a boy, in my room, in mybed, who has essentially declared that he hates me. Although, in this moment it doesn’t really feel like he hates me.
He must feel the change in me as I slowly pull my hand away from his and into my lap. My spine straightens and I attempt adorn the unaffected mask that I walk around with every day, but in the late hours, or is it early hours right now? It feels too heavy, and I can’t fix it in place properly.
Looking over at Leo again, his face is clear of everything he displayed so openly moments ago. In its stead is the bored expression he wears so well whenever I’m around him. I’m not sure if it’s specifically me that brings that out in him, but I’ve seen him interacting with others and he’s a social guy.
But I can’t help thinking that I’ve never seen Leo really smile at them. Not his smirks, or his flirtatious grins, but a true smile, like the one I saw here with Peyton. The occasions I’ve heard his laugh, it didn’t sound right, like it was painted in shades of grey and cracked. None of the vibrancy that comes with a full-hearted outburst.
After a tense moment of us staring at one another, he scoffs and drops his hand off my knee before adding some much-needed distance between us. He runs his hand through his silky ash brown waves, tugging slightly at the strands.
“You were screaming. I wanted to make sure you were alright, but from the look you’re giving me right now, I feel like I can safely assume that you’re just fine.”
My brows furrow together at that. I was screaming? I know that my nightmare was- intense. And the echo of the fire on my leg still tingles at the thought, but I don’t think I’ve ever screamed in my sleep before.
I shift uncomfortably before seeing the drying blood still under his nose. It’s smeared over, like he tried to wipe it before it dripped lower and when I look at the opposite hand to the one that I clung to, I see the daub right there. I cringe at the sight, not having meant to strike him when I was coming to. His hand hasn’t even fully healed yet, and I’ve gone and made him bleed again. Both times from making sure I was okay and that thought of these tiny scraps of kindness have me wanting to start sobbing.
Shifting my weight again, I sneak a glance to the bathroom where I have my first aid kit. There’s not much I can do for the blood now, but I can at least help reduce the swelling and clean up the mess. Leo clearly misreads my indecision as annoyance and shakes his head at me, before making a move to hop off the bed. I throw my hand out, snagging his fingertips to halt his retreat. The surprise is clear when he looks back at me with wide eyes before I swallow around the lump in my throat and open my mouth.
“Thank you,” I murmur. I wouldn’t have been sure he could even hear me, except his eyebrows shoot straight into his hairline blinking at my words. “For, uh, checking on me. I’m sorry about the” gesturing to his nose “let me help you fix that.”
The words are barely out of my mouth before I hear a catty snort from the other side of the room. I look over and see Blakely in a see-through pink, lace bra, nipples on full display, looking at me with unchecked hostility. The way she looks at me is how I imagine I would look at dog shit I’ve stepped in.
It's at that moment that I actually seem to understand that Leo is in my room. Of course, I know that he’s in my room, but he’sin my room. I look over at Leo again and actually take in his appearance now that I’m not skittering the line of a mental breakdown.
He's shirtless, leaving all his gorgeous golden skin and black ink on display. My eyes drink in the sight of his broad shoulders and the toned lines of his body. I trail my gaze down the center of his stomach, taking in the sight of his lightly defined abs that hint at his enjoying the gym but not obsessed with ‘gains’.
My mouth starts to water at the sight of him before me, but the way the navy sweatpants hang so low on his hips that I swear I can almost see the outline of the top of his dick, I think my panties completely disintegrate.Fuck me, he is beautiful.
My cheeks heat for a totally different reason when I notice the tussled way his hair is sticking up and the reddened patch of skin under his jaw and on his neck. Even without the evidence of the onslaught of hickeys, I already know what he was about to do with Blakely, and I try to swallow past the uncontrollable jealousy that ignites in my chest.
That’s an unwelcomed response. Yes, he is hot as sin, and admittedly he’s not been a total douche bag since I got here except for the initial incident which apparently sparked a feud between us. But that doesn’t make him any less of an asshole. Who goes to fuck someone while their roommate sleeps less than ten feet away? I’m suddenly thankful for my nightmare, because it would have been so much more disturbing if I woke up hearing Blakely moan. Even the thought has me shuddering in disgust.
“See! I told you she’s fine. Come back to bed, Leo. I think you owe me now.” The giggle she lets out grates on my ears, and I’m not quick enough to stop the gag from her words.
“Fucking gross” I mumble under my breath. I get to my feet before grabbing some clothes and slipping into the bathroom to change. When I re-emerge, Leo and Blakely are whispering harshly back and forth, stopping abruptly when the door closes behind me.
The look Blakely levels my way is pure loathing, but Leo has the decency to look sheepish as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other. He shoots a disgusted look at Blakely which has me raising my eyebrows in surprise. Considering the… activities he was about to engage in with her, I would have expected him to be staring daggers at me for the interruption.
He looks up at me, meeting my eye while sucking the corner of his bottom lip into his mouth. I’ve surmised from the times I’ve seen him doing it that this is a trait he does when he’s nervous or in deep thought. Leo clears his throat before he opens his mouth. I cut him off before he can bitch me out for this, really not wanting to be on the end of another drama-filled evening. “I’m going to the dance studio, so don’t worry I’ll be gone until the morning.”
“Briar, it’s two in the damn morning, you don’t have to leave. I’ll go, this wasn’t what tonight was supposed to be like anyway.” He sighs before sneering over at Blakley once again. She doesn’t see it, she’s still throwing me savage glares like she wishes she could peel the skin right off my face. Leo doesn’t understand just how much I do need to leave, I would rather off myself than listen to Blakely getting off, and if I heard him moan again because of her I might just go on a homicidal rampage first.
If I weren’t witness to the obvious pre-fuck warm-up that was happening a short time ago, I would think he hates her with the way he glares at her, but now I’m thinking it must be some fucked up foreplay thing. Like a hate kink, or whatever. I lift my dance bag, shifting it over my shoulder and shrug my shoulders indifferently, the exact opposite of how I feel. “There is no way I’d be able to go to sleep now away. May as well practice my routines.”
At least I won’t have to play witness to another of her sex-capades.As if summoned by my thoughts, the sound of Leo’s throaty groan from the first day reverberates through my mind. Playing on repeat again until I feel the pinkening on my cheeks wondering if I could have made him sound like that too.
And with that thought, I scramble out the door and click it closed behind me. I’m halfway down the hall when I hear the door reopen behind me and a whiny protest come from inside the room, but I don’t look back and keep moving towards the exit. Footsteps pound the floor behind me, coming closer as my heart beats erratically in my chest.