Before I second-guess myself, I pull out my phone and text Dima, letting him know I’m outside. Too nervous to stand still, I pace outside the doors and let out a pissed-off groan when he doesn’t answer. Ignoring the first drops of rain, I storm around to the side of the building. The fire escape was good enough to get me in his apartment the first time, and it can damn well get me back in. A loud crack of thunder has me gripping the iron railing even tighter, and hoping like hell I don’t slip on the now rain-slick steps. That’d be just my luck, breaking my neck as I attempt to break back into my boyfriend’s apartment. My dad would love that.
By the time I get to the top, I’m soaked. My navy blue scrubs and hair are plastered to my body, not quite the impression I was hoping to make, but it’ll have to do. I press against the window and cup my hands, trying to see into the foggy, rain-splattered window. As soon as I see Dima, I bang on the window, making him jerk his head up in surprise. I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve seen him, and my heart actually aches at the sight of him. He’s sitting on the couch with his elbows resting on his knees. He’d been resting his head in his hands, and his long fingers are still splayed out, reaching towards the ceiling.
His eyes widen at the sight of me before he drops his hands and stands up, walking toward me in that fluid way that only boxers can, each step controlled and powerful, and even though I’m scared about what’s going to happen and unsure about our future, my body responds to him immediately. Everything else might be confusing, but my body knows exactly what it wants, and right now it wants the sexy Russian with the pained look in his blue eyes and the chiseled jaw that would make any male model weep with envy.
I keep waiting for him to smile, to give me some sign that he’s happy I’ve showed up and that all is not lost, but he just stares at me with that stunned expression as if he can’t quite believe I’m standing on his fire escape, banging on his window and begging to be let in. I suddenly feel very stupid and pathetic.
“What are you doing?” he finally asks, running his eyes over my drenched body.
“Why won’t you answer my texts?” I yell, keeping my eyes locked on his. If he’s going to dump my ass, then he’s going to have to do it while looking right at me.
“You need to leave, Gina. You are soaked, and it is not safe.”
“Fuck that!” I scream, banging on the glass. “Let me in and talk to me.”
He scrubs a hand over his face, and I can imagine the weary sigh he gives, even if I can’t hear it. He looks exhausted, but he’s still the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.
“You need to leave,” he says again. “Please, just go home.”
He gives me one last look, the pain in his eyes nearly destroying me, before turning and walking away. The sight of it breaks something inside me. I scream and pound on the window so hard I’m amazed it doesn’t shatter. I’m louder than the thunder and rain. I make it impossible for him to pretend he can’t hear me, but he doesn’t turn around. I watch his powerful, broad shoulders cave in, but he refuses to look back at me.
“Dima!” I scream, not caring that I look completely unhinged, standing out here in the middle of a thunderstorm, yelling and pounding on his window, begging to be let inside.
“Stop being such a fucking coward and face me!” His shoulders straighten at that, but he still doesn’t look at me, so I keep pushing him. I’d rather a pissed-off Dima than the one who refuses to even look at me.
My hands are balled into fists, and I hit the glass so hard that I know I’ll have bruises along the sides of my hands tomorrow, but I’m long past caring. I welcome the physical pain because it’s nothing compared to the emotional hell I’ve been living in. I bang on the window, screaming his name until I’ve no strength left and my voice is hoarse.
I give one last hard hit and yell, “You swore you wouldn’t break my heart, Dima, and I trusted you! I trusted you, you bastard!” before all my strength leaves me and I collapse in a sad heap, not even wincing at the hard iron digging into my knees.
Chapter14
Dmitri
Her words hurt me more than any fight I’ve ever been in. The pain in her voice and the sound of her banging on the glass and begging to be let in are breaking my goddamn heart. These three days without her have been absolute hell for me, and the sound of her sobbing on my fire escape in the rain pushes me beyond what I can endure. I haven’t felt this lost since seeing my brother’s dead body, except I’m not the only one hurting this time. My stubbornness and stupidity has hurt the woman I love more than anything else in this world, and I can’t make her suffer a second longer.
Turning around, I run to the window and unlock it. Opening it, I immediately get pummeled by the rain. Cursing myself, I look down at her small, soaked form and have never wanted to kick my own ass so much in my life. I look at what I’ve done to her, and I promise myself that I will spend the rest of my life making it up to her.
Leaning down, I wrap my hand around her arm. “Gina,” I say, giving her a gentle squeeze. She jumps at the feel of me, like I’ve startled her out of some kind of trance, before slowly turning her head up to me. She’s soaked and pale and looking more beautiful than I’ve ever seen her.
“Dima?” Her voice is so cracked and strained from all the yelling that I have to struggle to hear her.
“Come here, baby.” I reach down and hook my hands under her armpits, carefully pulling her up and through the window. As soon as she’s inside, she wraps her arms and legs around me and squeezes tightly. Her whole body is shaking, and guilt washes over me. I cup the back of her head, holding her as she cries against my neck. Every shudder, every tear, every soft hiccup is like a sharp stab to my heart, but I know I deserve it, so instead of pushing it away, I embrace it and let it consume me.
Resting the side of my face against her wet head, I try my best to soothe her, murmuring my apologies to her in Russian, hoping she can hear the sincerity in my words and take comfort in them. When she’s cried herself out and moved on to hiccupping and sniffling, I rub circles along her back, enjoying the feel of her in my arms again.
When she lifts her face, she looks at me with red, puffy eyes and a tear-streaked face, and the sight of her takes my damn breath away. I can’t believe I almost lost her and that it was completely of my own doing. Before I even realize what’s happening, she’s reaching up to brush away the tears I didn’t even realize I was crying. I haven’t shed a tear since I was eighteen and staring down at my brother’s mangled face, but knowing how close I came to losing Gina has them flowing freely.
She cups my face with her slender hands and leans in so our lips are almost touching. Her grey eyes search mine, holding me in her gaze.
“Don’t ever do that to me again,” she says.
“Never,” I promise, clutching her tighter.
My need for her is overpowering. It pushes aside everything else, and when she gives me a soft smile, letting me know she’s okay, I press my lips to hers, needing her more than I’ve ever needed anything. She lets out a soft moan a second before I feel her melt against me, as if my touch alone has calmed and comforted her. The feel of her tongue against mine pulls a groan from my body and before my brain can even catch up, I’m sitting her ass on the back of the couch while I yank the wet scrubs off her body, desperate to feel her skin against mine.
Her eager hands do the same to my clothes. After several seconds of hurried, rough movements, we’re finally naked, and the sight of her is too much for me. Ineedto be inside her, to claim her and remind myself that she’s mine. The urge to bury my cock in her sweet pussy is all-consuming, a primal desire that’s unstoppable. I want to take my time with her, savor and reacquaint myself with every amazing inch of her, but all that will have to wait. This fucking is going to be rough and fast. That’s all I’m capable of at the moment.
She seems to understand that, because she wraps her arms around my neck tightly when I grip her hips and lift her up and whispers against my lips, “Remind me that I’m yours, Dima. Show me who I belong to.”