He trails off and pinches the bridge of his nose. His words deflate me and my rage entirely. The alternative doesn’t bear thinking about, and I’m still not convinced I believe him about not being the one who fucked with her last night. Who else could know the significance of locking her in a closet? But I don’t want him to lie to me, and I know just how ruthless Linc is when it comes to her and her safety. I won’t ask him outright because we don’t lie to each other, and I don’t want him to have to, but I am done with all of this.
“We can’t put her through this. If she doesn’t leave, you need to find another way.Weneed to find another way. I want her safe, happy, andout of their clutches.”
He laughs haughtily, watching me with those hawk-like eyes of his. “You still love her, don’t you?”
“Are you trying to tell me you don’t?” I ask, quirking an eyebrow. He shakes his head and drops down into the leather chair beside him.
He sighs and leans his head back, looking up at the ceiling. “Even if I did, nothing could ever come of it. She isn’t safe here. Plus, the other two… When it comes to Octavia Royal, everything is always way too complicated.”
No truer words have ever been spoken.
Chapter Nineteen
Octavia
Spending the last day and night in East’s bed isn't exactly how I pictured my weekend ending. He walked me back to the house this morning so I could get ready for school, and only left after my insistence that I’d be okay. I’d set the alarm and locked the door as he’d watched from the back patio.
I’m not going to lie, walking back into my house alone might be one of the hardest things I’ve done these last few months. However, I refuse to let whoever it was that did that to me win. I’ve already survived too much to let this be the thing that breaks me.
Well, fully break me. I’m definitely partially broken.
Who would have thought that it would only take four weeks to break me?
Except, I’m also my father’s daughter, and there’s too much fight left in me to tuck tail and run. I have very little doubt it was someone from school. I’m also fairly certain it was the three people who knew exactly how much locking me in a small space would fuck me up, but I have no proof.
Even if I did, what could I do?
Absolutely fuck all, that’s what.
So I’m going to go to school and pretend like nothing happened. Letting them see how fucked up I am about it all gives them more power than I’m willing to relinquish.
So I pad up the stairs, still wrapped up in East’s hoodie. I've been wearing it since he found me yesterday morning, but it smells like him, and right now, he’s my safe harbor in these shark infested waters.
As I reach my bedroom door, I freeze, my hands shaking at my sides. I close my eyes and clench my fists. I hate feeling so fucking weak. I hate that they found a way to make me crumble, but what I mostly hate is how much rage I feel toward my dad for putting me in this position in the first place.
If he hadn’t left me, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t be going through this. I’d still be safely out on tour, living my life the way I always have. I wouldn’t be subject to the webs of lies and torture that is Echoes Cove.
If I don’t get my dad’s inheritance, it goes back into my trust. If that happens, my guardians might get access to it. I’m not convinced that isn’t why people want me to leave. Considering how close Blair and Lincoln seem to be, it wouldn’t surprise me if she asked him for help. She must have a magical pussy to get him to bend to her will like that, though.
I hate how fucked up the thought makes me feel. Him fucking her. Him being on her side. That she really has replaced me when it comes to those three. I can’t help but wonder if he crawls into her bed and holds her the way he used to hold me.
I shake the thoughts off and cross the threshold to my room, taking deep breaths as I undress before changing into my uniform. I take extra care doing my hair and makeup, making sure no one can tell I’ve slept like shit the last two nights. I don’t want to look affected by the nightmare that plays on a loop when I close my eyes.
A shudder runs down my spine as I think about it again, and tears prick my eyes. I blink them back. I fuckingrefuseto cry over it anymore. They don’t deserve any more of my tears.
I find my phone on the nightstand where I left it and grab the charger before heading down to the kitchen. East called Smithy for me yesterday to let him know why I was MIA but told him to stay with his family as long as he needed. His sister is in a bad way, and I don’t want to be the reason he isn’t there for her.
I plug my phone into the charger once I’m in the kitchen and start the coffee pot. Looking through the refrigerator, my stomach flips at the sight of all the food, so I grab the cream cheese, then put a bagel in the toaster. I get lost in my own head while I’m waiting, staring out into the yard. When my bagel pops up, I let out a little scream.
Fuck my actual life.
Get a grip, Octavia.
I shake myself off and sort out my bagel and coffee before putting the TV on so there’s at least some background noise. I don’t need the creaking of the house to freak me out entirely. My phone starts to buzz like crazy as it comes back to life, and I groan.
Twenty text messages and ten missed calls from Indi.
Shit.