“Mac!” I basically attack him as he walks into view, and his anger disappears as soon as he sees me.
“V, is that really you?” He blinks down at me for a second before hugging me back, and P moves to stand by Indi, making her feel included. I love him for that. This is her birthday, and I’m sucking all the fun up.
“Hey, Mac,” I say quietly, squeezing him before I let go. “Indi, this is Mac. Mac, this is Indi, my bestie from back home.”
“It’s good to meet you, Indi. I didn’t realize you were coming tonight.” He almost looks sad to see me, but I know that’s because of the last time we were here together. I feel the pain in my very fucking soul, but I refuse to let all of my baggage ruin this day for Indi.
“P helped me keep it a secret so I could surprise you guys. It’s Indi’s birthday, and she’s a huge Midnight Blue fan,” I explain, and he nods.
He moves over to Indi and talks to her quietly for a minute before hugging her. “Thank you for looking after my girl.”
I swear I get all misty, and I look up to the sky to stop the tears that threaten to spill over. Tonight is not about me, and I'm not ruining this eyeliner.
“Now, that’s enough of this mushy shit. Let’s go find Jenna and the girls, shall we?” Mac coughs and bangs his fist against his chest, going hyper macho. I can’t help but giggle a little.
“Let’s do it,” I say, grabbing Indi’s shaking hand. “Tonight is going to be fucking awesome.”
“You’re in for a treat tonight too. They’re unveiling the new single live tonight,” P tells us as we enter the stadium and the chaos that is the backstage area before a show. Indi huddles closer to me. I’d almost forgotten how nuts it can get backstage, but at P’s words, her excitement overtakes her. She practically bounces next to me, eyes wide.
“Best. Birthday. Ever!”
* * *
We head to the green room to meet the girls before the gig, and Indi is so nervous. She keeps shaking out her hands before clenching her fists, over and over again. It’s like she’s literally fizzing.
I adore her so freaking much.
It’s the only reason I’m clinging to the happy she’s putting out. Because inside, I feel like I’m dying a little. Walking these halls is crushing. The last time I walked them, I found my dad. He just looked like he was asleep, and then I saw the pill bottles, the bottles of whiskey, and the tinge of blue on his lips. I’ll never forget that moment. Sometimes I see it when I close my eyes, and I hate that it’s my last memory of him.
I still don’t believe he was trying to kill himself. They ruled it as a suicide, but I think it was accidental.
Mac squeezes my shoulder as we close in on the green room, and I guess he’s remembering the same thing I am.
At least we’re not heading to the dressing room. I’m pretty sure that that would break me fully, and that’s the last thing I want tonight.
“You ready?” I ask Indi, forcing as much excitement and happiness into my voice as I can. Hopefully she can’t see the strain in my smile through her nerves.
“I amsoready.”
She’s like a kid at Christmas, and it’s adorable.
“Please don’t let me word vomit on them?” she asks, clutching my arm, and I giggle a little.
“I swear I will stop you if that should happen.”
She nods and hugs me, just outside the green room door. “This is why I love you the most.”
Panda grins at me, his hand on the door handle before opening it a little and popping his head through the space.
“Get out of the way, Panda! Where’s my girl?” Jenna’s low, husky voice reaches me seconds before her beautiful face appears around the door frame. “There she is!”
She rushes me and hugs me, jumping with excitement. It’s been a minute since I saw her last, but she’s one of the few people who was there for me throughout all of the stuff with Dad. Indi’s eyes go wide as she leans against the wall, and I pull out of the hug. “It’s so good to see your face.”
“Yours too, bitch, don’t hide from us for so long next time. Selena’s been like a nagging mom, totally on my ass about getting you out to see us.” I can’t help but laugh at her dramatics as she flicks her long pink hair over her shoulder. Truthfully, though, Selena, who’s the drummer of Midnight Blue, is totally the mom of the group.
“I’ll try not to get dragged, kicking and screaming, to a hellhole the next time I can’t be on tour.” I stick my tongue out at her, and she rolls her eyes like I’m the drama queen here. “J, I want to introduce to you my girl, Indi. She’s literally been my saving grace since I went back to the Cove. She’s something of a fan.”
“Hi,” Indi squeaks, waving awkwardly at her, and I half want to die on her behalf as red spills across her cheeks. Jenna’s a pro and takes it in her stride, though.