“Does it hurt from your hangover or does your cut hurt?” Dec asked in his cop voice.
“Hangover. Now, I would like to go take a shower. So if any of you want to stick around for a show, be my guest. I’m getting my naked arse off this bed,” He said.
Ronan held both palms up and took a step back, making him bump into the closet. “What’s up with this enormous bed in this room? Well, at least now you can get a smaller bed since Errin is gone.”
“OUT.” Brennan roared.
“You’re such a dickhead, Ro. If you can’t stop being a dick, you’d better get going,” Declan said to his twin.
“Nah. If someone would say stupid shit under pressure, it was Errin. He likes it, remember?” Ro said and shrugged.
“Don’t say another motherfuckin’ thing about her.” Brennan shouted before slamming the bathroom door closed behind him. Damn. He was certain it was coming. The hurt and the aching feeling of missing the other part of you that made you whole. But to actually feel his heart squeeze at the mere thought of Errin was terrifying.
Maybe that’s why he drank himself into oblivion. He’d rather let the darkness thicken, closing in on him than to be aware of the longing for Errin that never would go away. No matter how hard he’d try.
After a quick shower where he unsuccessfully tried to remember how he ended up with a bump to the back of his head, he towel-dried his hair and changed in a pair of boxers, sweatpants and a white T-shirt.
Getting out of bed didn’t mean he would go downstairs and face the rest of his family and start working. Not yet. First, he needed to talk to Donovan. If there was someone who could calm him, it would be him.
His brothers had made themselves comfortable on his worn brown couches and had turned on some sports channel. Donovan sat at his kitchen table, scrolling on his phone. Brennan walked past the twins on one couch and gave Dunc a chin lift in greeting. He walked over to Donovan and took a seat opposite of him.
“Not so long ago, you were the one who gave me advice when I royally fucked things up with Kate,” Donovan said. “I still can’t wrap my head around how she forgave me, but if it weren’t for my brothers pushing me in the right direction, I would still be one miserable fuck.”
“Yeah, this is different D.”
“How come?” his brother asked as he quirked a brow and sat back in his chair.
“I didn’t fuck up. She’s not mad at me and doesn’t hate me. She’s…” he sighed as he hung his head and traced a line on the oak tabletop with his thumb.
“She’s just going on with her life. Doing what she’s supposed to do—being free and acting like any twenty-six-year-old. It’s not like I did something wrong. It’s more that I will not stand in her way. She needs to do this, D.”
Damn. That hurt. But saying it out loud made him see that he couldn’t have done anything differently. He shook his head because surely she’d felt the same way? How could she not? It was the best damn thing he’s ever had. How could she not feel the same?
“Bren,” Donovan said to stop him from staring at the table.
“Yeah.”
“Kate came home late last night after driving Errin to the airport. And she—”
Brennan didn’t like the image of Errin stepping onto the airplane to fly out of his life, so he scraped his throat and said, “I can’t do this right now,D.”
“Well, let me say my piece and then I’ll be on my way. We gave you one day, but tomorrow you’ll get some normal clothes on and go downstairs. You’ll work until your back hurts, until you’re so fuckin’ tired, you can’t even see straight and pass out from exhaustion instead of a bottle of Jack.
“You’ll do so for the next few days—make yourself get out of bed and be with your family. We’ll help you get through this. We’re here for you, bro.” Donovan knocked the tabletop twice and stood from his chair.
As Don walked past him he patted his shoulder and said, “And pick up the damn phone when any of us call you.”
“Yeah, okay,” he said.
Donovan left after talking a bit with their other brothers. Brennan stayed because it would be a dick move to go back to bed.
He walked over to sit next to Dunc on the couch where he had first held Errin after her fall from the stairs. He took a deep breath and fixated his eyes on the television screen.
“Can’t believe they let him into the red zone. What a bunch of pussies,” Ronan said.
The mutters of his brothers about the game were the background noise he needed to close his eyes to and let his thoughts run free. He laid his head back against the couch and took a deep breath. He didn’t want to think. He wanted to forget.
When would this game be over? He didn’t need to be babysat. Certainly not by his brothers. He would always be the one to check up on them, not the other way around.