VINCENZO
Nothing can prepare you for looking into the eyes of your child for the first time. Your whole world starts and stops at the same time. It’s wonderful and scary and intimidating and magical all at once. I can’t really put words to it. Nari Nicola San Giovanni was born right on time, at 5 a.m. on the dot. She must have known her father’s preference for promptness.
She already has my heart, though, even if she breaks every rule I make for her. I’m wrapped around her finger, totally and completely in love. Jess was so strong during the delivery that had to be unmedicated because we got to the hospital too late for the epidural. Almost had a baby in the car, actually. Lee was about to pop a blood vessel. Remembering the intense stress plastered across his face as he bore through traffic makes me laugh thinking of it even now.
Our little flower just couldn’t wait to meet us, and we couldn’t wait to meet her.
“I think Nari is perfect, Vince,” Jess whispered to me as we held our unnamed baby girl, snuggled next to each other on the hospital bed. “It's a Korean name that means lily flower. I think it’s important that she represents my culture as well as the San Giovanni’s.”
“I love it,” I whispered back. “Then her middle name should be mum’s name, Nicola.”
“Nari Nicola San Giovanni. It’s perfect.” She smiled sleepily. It was a perfect moment. Our little good luck charm. She represents more than just our pasts molding together to grow something beautiful. Her life symbolizes new strength for the future generations of mafia children. An era of peace, Pops has been claiming recently.
Now, little Nari is being held by our maid of honor on the opposite side of the aisle, and I can't help but look at her dark black hair and soft eyes, chubby cheeks, and pouty lips. She reminds me of Jess and little of mum. It’s incredible.
The wedding song begins to play, the one Jess picked out. It’s by a band we both like, Pulp. It’s called “Something Changed.” The moment I hear it, my eyes turn expectantly to the end of the aisle. We chose the barn to get married to. Jess insisted that we have doors so that she could walk through them for a big reveal. I thought it was silly at the time, but I love the anticipation, and I'm grateful she made the decision.
The doors open wide, and she and Luca take a second to become visible because the light is so intense. When I do see her, I get tears in my eyes. I can’t help it. She’s a fucking vision, glowing like the sun and as beautiful as the day I met her.
Her dress is silky, long, and form-fitting, the lace around the bust looks like flowers, and her hair is long with wild lilies braided into it. Her feet are bare– another request that I couldn't say no to– and she walks slowly towards me with all the love in the universe captivated across her perfect face.
Before I realized it, she was right in front of me. I take her hands and whisper she looks otherworldly, and she blushes like I'm her middle school crush. I love the effect I still have on her, even after knowing her for almost eight years. Antonio is our officiant, and he makes all of the guests laugh with his jokes throughout our ceremony. When it gets down to the vows, I don’t need a paper to read from; I know them by heart.
“Jessica, you are everything to me. My heart, my world, my life. I can’t thank you enough for choosing me, for bringing our beautiful daughter into the world, and for teaching me about the selfless sacrifice of oneself. Because of you, I can trust. Because of you, I can hope. Because of you, I can love. I promise to give that same immeasurable love back to you forever and then some. You are my strength, my confidant, my best friend. Thank you for having my back. I will always protect you.” There are tears in her eyes as she mouths the last bit back to me. A promise we’ve kept since the moment we declared our love for one another.
“Vince, you’re the constant I never realized I had until the moment we accepted what we were to one another. You never falter from your position of strength, but you don’t let that dictate the way you love our beautiful daughter and me. You know me, and I have come to know myself because of you. To see myself through the right perspective and have the strength to be who I am. I don’t have as eloquent words to perfectly describe our love, but the one word that comes to mind when I think about us is cosmic. We are aligned, destined. I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else, and I'm never letting us go, no matter what comes our way. I love you, and I promise I will always protect you.”
Every word she speaks with passionate sincerity, and I feel it in my chest. She is the only one for me.
“You may now kiss the bride!” Antonio declares after we exchange wedding rings and boy do we kiss. I dip her down, pressing into her till we are alone and whispering, ‘I love you’ as the crowd cheers widely, whistling and hollering.
I can’t explain how our worlds collided. It’s only something from a movie. Really. Like one of those rom-coms that Jess still hates even though I argue we are one. She says rom-coms aren't centered around the mafia, but what does she know anyway? She doesn't watch them.
There is hope in the garden of our hearts that love will always grow, prevail and carry on to future generations. We truly changed everything for our families, and in turn, our life has been defined by the peace we reside in.