“No. I want to see him.” I pull it back a bit, and his face falls flat.
“Visiting hours are over.”
“Alright.” I fully retract the money and turn towards the door.
“Wait. I can arrange something.” He makes a quiet call before asking me to meet the guard who’s standing at the beginning of a long hallway. I slide him the money and walk with the guard to a small room with one table in the center.
“Wait here.” She orders, and I take a seat on one side of the table. I tap my fingers on the metal as anger begins to make its way to my chest. I’m prepared to rough up whatever little shit I can if it means finding out why this has happened. The door swings open, and in an orange suit is a black-haired man with a thick beard. His eyes have a softness that looks so familiar, and he holds himself with a peaceful demeanor. When I look at him, I’m not reminded of any criminals I’ve met before.
“Please, don’t stand for me.” He lifts his hand back to the seat, and I narrow my eyes at him. Where do I recognize this face? The guard leaves us alone, and I continue to glare at him.
“You a cop or somethin’? Come to interrogate me?”
“No, actually. But when I’m through with you, you’ll wish I was a cop.” He presses his lips together, unthreatened.
“What did you do to Jessica Lee?” I snarl, and something washes over his face that looks like fear. He shakes his head.
“What did you do to her?”
“Nah, this isn’t how it’s gonna go. Answer my question.” I spew through grit teeth.
“The boss, I presume.” He raises his eyebrows, and I grow silent. How the hell does he know me?
“Answer the question.” I sneer.
“Sit.” he sternly orders me like I’m a dog, and I reach for the knife in my pocket. It's made from an elephant tusk, so the metal detectors didn’t pick up on anything when I walked through the entrance. His eyes trail to my hand, and he scoffs.
“I’m her brother.” His words hit me like a punch to the gut, and I sit down out of sheer embarrassment. He follows, staring me down with burning intensity. I know I’ve fucked up. How hadn’t I realized the connection to her birth name— Lilly Haan, Luca Haan?
“You don’t know a thing about my family, and maybe I don't know shit about you. But I can tell you now that I know you’re selfish.” I don't say a word, but I find the courage to look at his face, be a man and not break eye contact, no matter how uncomfortable it makes me.
“She was shot.” I recount, and he stops.
“Is she okay?!” His tough-guy act drops, and his voice is pleading.
“She will be, yes.” I nod, and his shoulders relax.
“Thank God.” He whispers, and there’s a pause.
“My older brother Levi and I were 12 and 13 when our parents were killed in front of us. I held Lilly in my arms as she screamed, trying to fight the goons off, who shot them in the head multiple times. The FBI got involved, and instead of finding the killers, they held a court case to decide whether my brother and I were responsible for murdering our parents. Levi knew before I had that my father’s accounting business was threatened. As a result, he was forced to become a money launderer for the Russian mob. I guess he had dipped into some of their funds to make up for a financial loss that he wasn’t able to pay back before they noticed. We tried to tell the police, but no one would believe us, and when the FBI got involved, that’s when we were put on trial. The court ruled in favor of the FBI’s apparent findings, and my brother and I were charged with the murder of my parents. Prison for life.” He raises his shackled hands.
“They changed Lilly’s name to protect her identity and to make it easier for her to get adopted out of foster care. The case was all over the media, but the mafia got away with it, happily wiping their hands clean of the family they destroyed. They found Levi in jail, I guess they had some guys on this side who weren’t too happy about his attempt to oust their dirty work. So, they killed him.” His face twitches with sadness, and he looks at his hands.
“Jess had fought every day to protect herself if they ever found her again. Then she meets you, and suddenly, she’s reckless.” He shakes his head and stares deeply into my eyes.
“If you love her, you’ll let her go. All she wanted before she met you was a peaceful life. You owe her that much.” I clench my jaw because I’m angry with myself and don't want to admit what he’s insinuating. How could I have been so stupid and selfish to not see her dreams as important? She almost died because of me, and now I want to defend her as if someone else is to blame. My line of work makes enemies, she took a bullet for me, and I did nothing to stop her. I truly hate myself.
“I’m sorry for what happened to your family.” I offer my condolences, and he nods. It probably doesn’t mean much coming from me, but I’m completely sincere.
“It’s still happening. The FBI is threatening to send Jess to jail if she doesn’t give them intel on you. They know who you are and what you’re capable of, and so does she. But she’s been lying to them to protect you. She’s trapped.”
She would be safe and free if I had not come into her life, and for that, I know I must let her go. The only way to keep her safe is to help her start fresh. Somewhere I don't know anything about and where my presence can no longer hurt her. My chest begins to ache at the thought of parting, but almost losing her has made me realize that selfishness only brings death. And no amount of money could fix something that permanent.
“I’ll make this right,” I assure him. “Thank you for meeting with me.” I stand abruptly.
“I didn’t really have a choice.” Luca shrugs, and a guard opens the door for me. I bolt down the hall, through the front door, and to the car that’s waiting for me at the perfect time.
“I need you to drop me off at the hospital. I’ll send you instructions on what to do next.” I command as I slide into the car and close the door. The car speeds off immediately, and I’m broken inside. I am determined to make it right, even though I know that it will mean no longer being in her life.
When I arrive at the hospital, I’m able to tell her everything— that I’m helping her get a fresh start and that it’s best we don’t see each other again. I evade every possible contention, and eventually, she obliges. Leaving her in that hospital is the hardest thing I think I’ve ever done. I look like an idiot pushing past nurses with a tear-stained face, but I know it’s for the best. She’ll be better off without me in her life, and I know this is the least selfish thing I’ve ever done. I’m completely broken inside, but what else is there to do when you’re irremediably in love?