ChapterTwo
2 Months Later
“Well, Sevey, what do they say?” came Aunt Flo’s voice through the bathroom door. “Don’t leave me hanging out here, girl. Do you need help? Did you read the instructions?”
I barely registered what she was saying as I stared at the counter with a line of three white sticks, all saying the same thing. Pregnant. My mind raced back to that night at the rally, then to the trash can I’d emptied the next day. “But we used condoms,” I whispered to myself. And then louder, “I’m on fucking birth control!”
After my outburst, my aunt didn’t wait to come in. The door opened as I turned to dry heave over the toilet, though strings of saliva and stomach acid were all that came out. I had hardly been able to eat a damn thing in over a week. That was what prompted my decision to take the tests.
“Oh, Sevey, honey,” my aunt comforted while rubbing small circles on my back. “Whatever you want to do, I support you a hundred percent. If you want to keep this baby, I’ll be there like I was for your mama. If not, I’ll hold your hand the entire time.”
Leave it to Aunt Flo to get to the root of it right off the bat. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t sure if I would ever be ready, not after Mama hemorrhaged and died while trying to have my baby sister, taking them both from me in less than an hour. I’d only been five, but I remembered that day vividly. I’d always been meticulous about making sure my ass was covered so I wouldn’t end up with an accidental pregnancy.
Gaining my composure as I stood and flushed the toilet, I went to the sink to rinse my mouth out and opened the vanity drawer to sweep the sticks into it before slamming it closed again. Out of sight wasn’t out of mind in this case, but I couldn’t stand to look at them any longer. My aunt patiently waited until I turned and leaned against the counter with a sigh.
“I have no clue what I’m going to do. Can I even handle being pregnant while running the club and the bar? How the hell does a baby fit into this lifestyle? The members that have kids don’t bring them around except on family days or when they know other shit isn’t going down. I don’t have that option.” An inarticulate scream muffled behind closed lips finished off the handful of issues that came to mind right off. Who knew what else would crop up. An outlaw biker club wasn’t the place to raise a baby.
“First things first—give it a few days and let the news settle. You don’t have to make any decisions right now. There are some dos and don’ts, but we can look those up and then you can decide. In the meantime, we have church tonight. This’ll still be waiting when you’re ready.” Aunt Flo paused as she opened the door to my bedroom, looking over her shoulder before adding, “And maybe consider contacting the father? He might want some input, too.” She left, presumably to start preparations for the meeting, but I knew that Mama not telling my father, whoever he was, about me, had never sat right with my aunt.
I had no intention of not telling Gus or Lochlan, but getting in touch with them wasn’t going to be easy. I’d be the one making the decision before they even knew. There wasn’t any way around that.
With another sigh, I shut the bathroom light out and crossed my bedroom, ready to head down the lane to the Hideaway. My bar, as well as the attached clubhouse, had extra rooms upstairs for club members and was located a ways away from the house on my property.
The Hideaway was more than a local biker bar though. It was a convenient front to distribute our product, an item on tonight's agenda, while helping to facilitate the other aspect of our operation…black market WITSEC. Neither topic could afford distraction, so I had to get my head on straight and attend to them.
* * *
Six Months Later
“Come on, why the hell aren’t they answering?” I grumbled for the third time that week when Gus’ phone went straight to voicemail again. A full voice mailbox. Scrolling through my text messages, I went back to the ones he and Lochlan had sent me before they shipped out.
Loch had sent a pic Gus took during the night we spent together; we were both up on our knees, my back to his chest and my head tipped back on his shoulders, with our lips fused together and his hands gripping my breasts. The caption reminded me not to forget about him. There were two from Gus—one of the three of us, mussed and worn out, me snuggled in between them. The other was a promise to get in touch when they could, that they’d found out their assignment would be a bit longer than usual.
Yet the time frame, plus some, had come and gone, and there was still nothing from them. I was nearly out of time to inform them that one of them was about to be a father since my due date was in six weeks. Glancing down at my baby beach ball, I rubbed the swell of my stomach then winced as the little miss ground her head into what felt like the entirety of my pelvic bones. The urge to pee was immediate, but I wanted to try Loch’s number before I waddled to the toilet again.
When I hit send, I fully expected to get the same result as Gus’, but the vacant number tone came through the speaker along with the ‘this number is no longer in service’ message. My heart dropped before it started racing, a sense of dread filling me. Why would his phone be shut off? I tried it again in case it was a mix-up and got the same result. Scenarios ran through my head, from him not paying his bill to having the number deliberately changed. I didn’t know much at all about either of them, other than they knew how to use their dicks, and they had said they were interested in more. I really had to consider that they’d lost interest and this was at least Lochlan’s way of moving on.
Before my paranoid, pregnant brain could devise any other wild thoughts about getting played, I sent a text to Gus’ phone, telling him I needed to speak to him immediately and to call as soon as possible. Trying to put my concerns out of mind, I left my phone on the bed and went to use the bathroom. I was just washing my hands when I heard the chiming of my ringtone and hurried as much as I could to find Gus’ name lighting up the screen.
Relief filled me, as well as a hefty dose of anger, that he was finally bothering to return my calls. All it took was an emergent message, and that didn’t sit well with me. Swiping to accept the call, I started in before he could even offer a greeting, then realized the line was dead. Instantly, I hit the call back button and tapped my foot impatiently as I waited for him to answer. Except it went straight to his voicemail again. Beyond pissed and hurt, I sent another message, this one containing a video taken in my mirror highlighting my swollen stomach.
The phone lit up with an incoming call a second after the message showed it had been opened.
“Dude, what the fuck? I know you said it would be a few months, but sometimes shit is time sensitive, and I shouldn’t have to say it’s an emergency to get a call back.” I stopped to take a breath; kicking baby feet and the swell of my uterus pressing on my diaphragm and lungs really took the wind out of me…literally.
“I’m sorry, but you’re yelling at the wrong person, ma’am. I didn’t mean to call the first time. It was an accident when I opened the message. I went to shut it off, but the video came in, then I saw your picture matched the background, and… Look, I’m only housekeeping, and I can get into a lot of shit for telling you anything, but obviously you haven’t been informed, and it’s important.” The man paused, and I took the opportunity to cut in.
“Where’s Gus? And Lochlan, his phone was disconnected. Obviously, you know more than a random housekeeper, buddy. How did you get past the lock screen if you're just a housekeeper?” The guy didn’t sound like either Lochlan or Gus, but they’d said there were others. For all I knew, this was his way of ditching out after seeing I was pregnant. It sounded far-fetched, even to myself, so I braced myself to hear they’d been thrown in jail or something, but I wasn’t at all prepared for what he had to say.
“I’m sorry, ma’am. There’s a protocol to follow, and ‘housekeeper’ is as much as I’m willing to offer. Sergeant Major Boudreaux’s team is MIA and presumed to be deceased. Their plane went down on their last mission and was unrecoverable. That’s all I know and more than I should have shared, but I wouldn’t want my girlfriend to wonder what happened with a baby on the way. Good luck, ma’am, I wish you the best.” He didn’t wait for a reply before hanging up, leaving me standing there in disbelief.
My frequent fantasies had featured a reunion where both men were surprised but happy to have me and the baby, but those fantasies shattered into a thousand pieces as I crumpled onto the bed, cradling my stomach, as the tears came. There would never be any reaction, good or bad, for the little girl I carried. I didn’t even know which man had fathered her, or if they had family that might want to know her.
I laid there, sobbing my heart out for both of us—me for losing what could have been, and her, for having to go through life without a dad. I knew how that was first hand. Aunt Flo had been amazing, but I was an orphan, my aunt my only family, and now we were all my baby had.
* * *
Some time later, my aunt came in search of me, alarm in her voice as she shook my arm. “Severine! What happened?!”