His eyes narrowed, and the look he shot Grace would have withered full, ripe apples on the tree with the venom contained there. I swelled with pride because up until that moment, and I hadn’t been sure what they felt when I was gone. I knew now that my sanity had slipped in the darkness, and all my imaginings of them living their lives happily without me were false.
The way Alexander and Rome reacted when they saw me was enough of a reassurance that I was still loved and desired.
I hadn’t seen Luke yet, or Harlow. I kept watching the Lower tables for them both, but they hadn’t shown up for dinner just yet.
Grace finally flitted her eyes away from Alexander, her cheeks flaring bright red as she accepted her defeat. She should have known by now that nobody took on Alexander and won. Nobody could stand up to him and survive in the ecosystem of the school or even in the world outside. He was power, control, and everything an Upper should be.
Nobody could stand in the face of that.
Except me. I had stood up to him, bitten him even, and gotten my emotions entwined with my logic when it came to him. But for now, right then, I was proud that he had defended me in front of the entire dining hall.
“What happened to you?” Rome asked under his breath as a server rushed to the table with his meal. Roast beef with mashed potatoes, gravy, and vegetables cooked in the pan with the beef. Normally it would sicken me, but after the Pit, I had already burned through mine like flames in a dry forest.
My stomach still growled, and I watched as he salted his meal, the wafting scent of rare meat floating to my nostrils and filling my head with hunger.
“I was in the Pit,” I replied quietly.
“The entire time?” he asked incredulously. His deep green eyes sparked in disbelief, and he pushed a thick lock of jet-black hair off his forehead. I longed to reach up and smooth it for him, to tame the little curl that had sprung free of his mane near his temple.
“Yes, the entire time,” I said. “It was so horrible there without you guys. I was so hungry.”
I couldn’t help it. My eyes flicked to his plate, and my mouth instantly began to drool.
“You look fantastic,” he said quizzically. “How?”
“The treatments,” I said. “Doctor Norris gave me so much more than my usual.”
“What treatments?” he asked, clearly confused at this point.
“The beauty treatments,” I said. “The ones Victoria and I receive on Fridays. Doctor Norris formulated specific medications to help me recover from the….”
“From the what?” Alexander asked across the table.
“I…”
“Are you okay?” Rome asked gently. “You look like you’re going to be sick.”
“I don’t want to talk about it here,” I said, glancing around at everybody listening in. There was zero privacy at the Academy, and everybody was always up in everybody else’s business, no matter how discreet you could try to be at the tables.
“After dinner,” Alexander said. “We’ll come to you.”
“Have you talked to Luke?” I asked. “How about Harlow?”
“Harlow disappeared with you,” Rome said. “Haven’t you seen her? We thought she must be with you.”
“The Pit is solitary,” I replied. “I saw nobody other than Matron Baker. I was completely alone.”
He must have seen something in my eyes because he reached under the table and took my hand in his. Nobody noticed, but I felt the warmth of his touch emanate through my body, and I realized it had been too long since I felt another person’s hand on mine. Especially the hand of somebody I loved.
“You aren’t supposed to be left alone for that long,” he said. “Nobody ever has been.”
“It’s cruel and unusual punishment,” Victoria said, popping a carrot into her mouth. She chewed it slowly, carefully as she watched me for my reaction. “But you’re unusual, so it fits, I suppose.”
“She didn’t deserve to be alone for that long!” Alexander exclaimed, slamming his fist. His jaw clenched and unclenched as he looked at me. “You should never have been left like that. We tried to find you. For whatever that’s worth.”
I was about to respond, to come up with something clever to make him feel better. Maybe a soothing gesture or some way to help him relax, but I couldn’t think of anything. Nothing comforting came to mind. Even though my body was refreshed and luscious now, my mind was still trapped in the spiral of trauma left over from the dark.
I didn’t need to say anything, though, because a smattering of noise spread through the dining hall like hail on a rooftop. The hushed reverence of voices exclaiming without saying anything loudly or drawing attention to the speaker.