“Maybe you deserved it,” I said and stepped to the side as if I was going to attempt an escape out his door.
He stepped to block me and rasped, “Nobody deserved the way you were to me. And now to find out you were with him the whole time?”
“Maybe he saw the real me,” I said, prodding his pain and assessing his reactions. I wasn’t used to being in control for this long, and I wanted to see what made Alexander tick when he was under emotional pressure. “Maybe you’re too much like your father for me to ever love.”
His hand reached out again, and he pulled me close to him. He caught the back of my neck, under my thick hair, and held me tightly, so I was forced to look up at him.
“I will never be like him,” he said with a choking tone. “You know we’re supposed to hate each other, most Uppers do, but I’ve always admired you, Willow. Sweet sparrow, my little whore.”
He covered my mouth with his. To call it a kiss would gloss over the dominance it contained. He smothered me with his desires, and I sunk into it, closing my eyes and surrendering to the moment as he claimed my mouth and proved to me that we were meant for each other.
I felt his hard cock pressing against my side, and he held his hand to my face, pulling me closer to his kiss. He rested it on my throat, and as we kissed harder, he began to squeeze.
“Fuck,” I groaned and pulled away. “God, Alexander, fuck.”
“What is it?” he murmured into my ear. His breath was hot, and he smelled faintly of cinnamon.
“I don’t want to love you so hard,” I exhaled slowly. “But I need you. I love you. I don’t know what’s happening to me anymore.”
“You don’t have to,” he said and twisted my face to him again for another kiss. “Because I’m going to keep you safe. I promise you that, Willow Avalon. I love you, and I will keep you safe even before you are my bride.”
My knees began to tremble, and I moved my body to line up with his. He ran his hands down my back and cupped my ass, lifting me slightly as we kissed.
I wrapped my legs around him, and the only thing keeping me from Alexander’s cock was our clothing. I ached for it, though, and even though I could remember sex with Rome when we were in school together before he was killed. And even though I could remember having sex with Luke on every flat surface in our apartment many times over, I didn’t think about it then. I wasn’t worried about the fact that physically I wasn’t a virgin. I didn’t plan ahead on how to explain it to him.
And so we hit the bed and began to tear at each other’s clothes. I moaned and whined when he dove between my legs and ate his fill, making me come twice before licking his way up to my mouth again.
When he pressed me down to the bed and covered me with his massive, muscled body, he hesitated. It felt so real, so natural. We needed to have sex just then, or else we’d lose our minds to the lustful insanity.
“I want to fuck you,” he said and slipped his body up mine. He rested with the head of his cock just inside my lips, pressing against my swollen clit. “I want you to remember who you belong to. You might play with them, but you’re mine forever, Willow. Don’t you fucking forget that.”
“I won’t,” I whispered, and all my fear was gone. He wasn’t his father. He never would be his father. He was my Alexander, my beast of a man who only fought to provide the best life for me. “I’ll never forget this.”
“Are you sure?” he asked, but the dark fire in his eyes let me know there might not be any stopping him from this point anyways, even if I wanted to.
“Yes,” I said and dragged my nails down his back, settling on his hips where I pulled him towards me. “Please, fuck me. Make me yours, own me, fill me up, and mark me as yours.”
“Fucking yes,” he growled and began to move his cock lower towards my entrance. I was slick with juice, and his movements were eased because of it. He slid lower and pressed against my pussy, demanding access.
I was suddenly filled with anxiety about having to explain to him why I wasn’t a virgin or how I was so adept at sex. I stiffened up and pushed on his chest, hoping to stall him and maybe figure out a story I could tell him. Something about falling on a bicycle or a riding accident. I was terrified at what I was going to face when he realized I was no virgin.
But he wasn’t going to stop, so I braced for his reaction and worried about my dear, sweet Luke when he went looking for him.
I closed my eyes, dug my fingernails into his hips, and waited for him to slide inside.
He thrust forward as he said, “I never fucked her, you know. I’ve only ever wanted you. This is it for me, only you.”
And the pain was unimaginably overwhelming as he pierced my hymen and tore my entrance apart.
My eyes flew open, and surprise left my face frozen in a twisted shock. I was a virgin. That was impossible. But he was also a virgin. How could that be?
Tears formed at the corner of my vision, and the burning fire in my pussy only grew the farther he pushed his massive cock inside. I could only concentrate on the pain as everything else receded.
“Oh god,” I moaned, and he kissed my forehead.
“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” he said, easing even more of himself inside of me. I didn’t know how much more I could take when he finally hit bottom and paused there. “Deep breaths, sweet sparrow. Let it flow through you, and then let go of the pain. It’ll get easier as we keep going.”
“Fuck, it hurts,” I groaned, and I shuffled through my memories to latch onto sex with Luke or Rome. I remembered how to do it, and I remember each one’s different style. But now, with this evidence directly in front of me, I began to question my memories for the first time. As Alexander pulled back and slipped inside once more, I realized the inner world I’d been clinging to didn’t even exist.