And yet, I didn’t say no, and I didn’t talk back to her.
Even in the midst of a tantrum, I recognized the value of learning all of this.
She was simply trying to get keep me alive and help me get revenge on those who had wronged us. All of us.
I finally made my way back up to the house. My house. My mansion. I still couldn’t believe Ivan had done it for me. Maybe one day I would, but somehow I doubted that. I’d always feel like an imposter in the wide hallways, walking on the polished marble floors, greeting the couple of personal staff he’d hired to help me around the place.
I’d never feel like a true queen, not out there in the world or here in the house. The only place I felt like that was in the bedroom with my kings worshipping me on my throne.
Speaking of which, I wondered where they were. I didn’t have to look for too long, though, I heard the sounds of yelling coming from the rec room.
It wasn’t a serious fight, but I ran down the hall to see them anyway. I loved the chance to get a look at my four guys wrestling, clothes on or off, serious or not. It was always one of the sexiest things to me.
I burst into the rec room, practically ripping my clothes off as I ran, and stopped short when I saw what was happening.
Ivan was in a rigid pose with Kingston, while the other three stood around and cheered them on.
Talk about an instant turnoff, I almost wanted to run out and forget I’d ever seen it.
But they spotted me, and Ryker said, “Get in here, princess! We could use your help figuring out who’s winning.”
“I have no idea,” I said, looking at the two of them with a grumpy glare. First, Amara was trying to ruin New Year’s Eve, and now Ivan was ruining me ogling the Kings. “I’ll be over here killing zombies or something.”
I flopped onto the couch and grabbed the game controller, loaded up the zombie game and started to half-heartedly shoot them one by one.
Behind me, I heard the sound of the match heating up, and finally cheering. I couldn’t help myself. I turned around and found Ivan on the ground and Kingston standing over him in triumph.
“You have youth on your side,” my father said with a laughing glee. He held his hand up, and Kingston pulled him to his feet. “Good match, though. You’re worthy of dating my daughter. Now, who’s next?”
“How about none of them?” I said, and glared directly at him this time. “How about I get some time with them? Without you or Amara hanging around reminding me how the Organization is going to hunt me down like a dog because I killed one of their own?”
Ivan’s smile fell, and he said, “Oh damn, Everly. I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about that, you know? This is all new to you, and it’s so much to take in. Why don’t you spend some down time with these knuckleheads and I’ll get dinner going?”
I wanted to be mad at him, but how could I when he was so agreeable? It was irritating how he always seemed one step ahead of what I needed, as if he intuited what I wanted even before I knew.
“Thank you,” I said and watched him as he left the room.
The Kings joined me on the couch and I couldn’t help myself, I was in a pretty major pout.
“Is this because of your driving earlier?” Archer asked. “Did you get anywhere with Penny?”
“Penny taught me a lot, and it turns out an automatic is easier than a stick,” I said. “Did you know that?”
“You don’t like handling the knob?” Ryker snorted and sat next to me on the couch. “You could have fooled me, princess.”
“Oh, come on,” I laughed and playfully pushed his hand away from my leg. “You know I can handle anything you’ve got.”
“There’s no way I’ll argue with that,” Ryker replied, raising his brow and giving me a wink.
I laughed and settled back down onto the couch to watch them wrestle and play around, thankfully without Ivan present.
And as the evening mellowed out, we piled onto the oversized sectional and cuddled up to watch movies and eat snacks.
Moments like that were the ones that literally kept me alive. The pure, absolute joy I held in my heart was a frozen moment I carried with me and kept it as protection against the dark parts of life or the dark whispers in my head that said I wasn’t good enough.
I kept these moments like talismans, strung them onto the chain of life and held them close to my heart, letting them fill me up and replenish my bliss when I needed it.
CHAPTER25