I let the steamy water wash away Thackeray’s blood and the tension I’d been carrying since cutting his throat. I hadn’t realized how wound up I was until I got in there and closed my eyes. I let all of it melt away, slide off me like a snake shedding its skin.
Much to my surprise, tears came pouring out of me when I really thought about what I’d done. I’d taken a life, I’d killed somebody. Another human being, a person who was a husband and father and grandfather.
I could pretend all I wanted that I didn’t care about his family, but I did. I prayed that his death was a blessing to him, that he’d been such a bastard to be around that they were all grateful now that he was gone.
But I couldn’t tell. I couldn’t possibly know how they viewed the loss of him in their lives, and so I wept for the pain that I caused. And I wept for myself, because this certainly drove my away from the path I wanted and set me into a new, dark territory. It was uncertain and filled with treachery and danger, but there was no backing out of it now.
I’d killed a man, and I sobbed for it, until my tears were gone and I was empty of my regret. So when I stepped out of the hot shower, I felt renewed. Like the part of my brain that had been focused on killing him was now free. I was no longer obsessing about his death; it was one thing to check of my list of people I had to take down.
I toweled off and pulled on a loose pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt with a hoodie over it. I was still into wearing baggy clothing, but now instead of Walmart brand discount clothes, I was wearing designer brands made of the softer fabrics. They somehow managed to look chic even when I wanted to slouch around and be lazy.
I headed back downstairs and enjoyed the rest of the evening with my guys. We got into a heated card game after dinner, and when Kingston drove me home afterwards, I felt like something had come full circle in my life. A chapter was closed and everything was going to be okay, eventually.
He walked me to my door, and I saw Nat peering down as he kissed me good night.
One day I might try to explain my strange situation to her, but not now. She was too young to understand. I let her think Kingston was my one and only for now, because he really was. The first love, and the one I always drifted towards when I needed somebody the most.
I lifted my hand and put hit on his chest where the bullet had pierced his flesh at Thackeray’s command just a few weeks before.
“I did this for you, too,” I said quietly. “For Ryker, and the mental toll it took on Valen and Archer, but because I thought he killed you.”
“I understand why you did it, and I would have done the same thing for the same reasons,” Kingston said, putting his hand over mine.
“I don’t know what I would do if I lost you,” I said and the thought of it brought a wave of emotion rocking through my body. I thought about the way Thackeray’s wife had screamed his name,Gerald!,and wondered again about the pain she would be feeling tonight.
I couldn’t think about that anymore, though. I had to be done with the softness that had me crying tears of regret for people like her. She had married a monster and built a life using the money from the sale and destruction of so many young people. She had to have sensed some of it over the years, this couldn’t have been a complete surprise to her.
“I love you, Evie,” Kingston said and hooked his finger under my chin, pulling my face to his. “You’ll never have to find out what you’d do, because I’m here forever.”
And he kissed me, erasing everything cycling in my head and bringing me back down to earth once again.
I needed him, I need them all.
Or else I’d descend into madness and destruction of my own.
An empty life for an empty girl.
They filled me up and kept me here on earth, right where I belonged.
CHAPTER21
Christmas wasa quiet affair with a small dinner at home with Mom and Nat, followed by a celebration at Archer’s mansion. Penny and Mark showed up for an hour and I gave her my present to her, a necklace with a diamond pendant that transformed into a sharp knife with the flick of a small lever in the back. I never wanted her to feel unsafe again.
She gave me mine, a simple leather belt that turned into a utility took with the turn of a buckle. We had the same thing on our minds after what we’d been through together.
After they left, Amara joined us for some baked treats Archer’s chef had prepared for the occasion. She was in good spirits and seemed to have forgiven me. She showed this by showering me with gifts of weapons and tactical gear, clothing made of bullet proof fabric (all of it black), and boots designed for battle, lightweight and strong.
The Kings and Ryker spoiled me with jewelry, electronics, clothing, and basically anything my heart could desire. I was such a spoiled girl, and I knew it. Even though I had that cold spot of dread in my mind at all times, the fear that the Organization would still come for me, I let myself bask in the warmth of their love for the entire time I was there.
We were sitting in the formal sitting room in front of the fire next to one of the gigantic Christmas trees when I heard something in the distance.
The Kings and Ryker had been toasting to my beauty and amazing pussy, and I was getting giggly on champagne bubbles and the excitement of the moment. All the gifts were open, Amara had gone back to their mansion, and it was just the five of us with our security detail lurking around in the background, unseen of course.
“What was that?” I asked and held up my hand to get them to stop lauding my good points. Not that I wanted them to end their praise, but that sound was getting louder.
“I don’t hear any—”
Ryker cut himself off and then continued. “Oh wait, is that a helicopter?”