Chapter 14
Life returnedto some semblance of normal after that. In the beginning of November, I went to school and studied hard. I maintained my perfect GPA and jumped through all the hoops to make it appear as if I was just a regular girl trying to get a regular scholarship into a good college.
But I wasn’t a regular girl anymore. I wasn’t who I wanted to be, because I wasn’t free, but I wasn’t the sad girl who stayed in the shadows. I no longer wore oversized hoodies and hand-me-down yoga leggings from my mom, and I no longer skulked away from society, ashamed of myself and terrified to interact with people.
The pills helped. I mean, being off of them helped. I didn’t remember the first time Mom had given them to me, but I could recall seeing that kind old doctor around my thirteenth birthday, and after that is when I’d given up emailing Kingston’s mother. That had to be related. The dulling sensation of the pills had turned me into a living dead girl. A walking zombie, somebody who was half awake during the most of her high school experience.
At least now Sofia and her friends pretty much stayed away from me. Not all the time, because sometimes she’d try to get a dig in here or there, but I always clapped back twice as hard. She learned her lesson, clear headed Everly wasn’t one to be fucked with.
The biggest change in November was regular communication with Ryker. I felt devious and dirty every time we’d text into the night, or I’d sneak in a phone call to him, but I couldn’t stay away. He was the flame, I was the moth, all that yada yada stuff about chemistry and attraction.
The basic premise was that I simply couldn’t walk away from him, even if I tried.
It was harder to sneak away to see my guys except at school. I had to lie to Mom and Reg a lot about where I was going, and pray I never got caught. Reg and I had fallen into an uneasy wariness of each other, and he seemed humbled by the fact that he would wear the evidence of my attempted murder in the form of scars on his body, but I could never know. How could I trust a man like him not to turn me into the Organization?
I didn’t, and so I lied to his face as much as I could.
The only rule I didn’t have to break was with Dirty Kingdom. I was allowed to go to events sanctioned by the Organization, so any of the Kings were allowed to pick me up and take me there. Since I lived so close to Kingston, it was often him.
The second Saturday in November, he showed up at my front door again like we were two normal kids going on a normal high school date.
In reality, it was time for another fight night. I wasn’t looking forward to it, but at least I didn’t have to suffer the humiliation of Sofia choosing my outfit. I could wear what I wanted, so I chose an elegant Versace dress with gold pins attached to it on the straps and along the slit that ran all the way up to my hip. It made me feel beautiful and sophisticated, not exactly the way I needed to feel as Tribute, but I liked it.
I was also learning things about fashion and elegance by being exposed to wealthy kids on a daily basis. Back at Oakville High, we would have died for a designer handbag or dress that showed the label so we could show off. But it turned out the more money you had, the less you needed to show it off. My Versace was beautiful, but not overstated or obviously something that cost Valen almost ten thousand of his monthly allowance.
He got north of fifty thousand a month, so it’s not like he was hurting or anything if he spoiled me like that. I couldn’t even comprehend what it would be like to have that much money at my disposal, much less being able to drop ten Gs on a dress like this. But my happiness made him happy, so it was worth it to him.
The doorbell rang and I ran downstairs, almost stumbling in my Alaïa strappy sandals. I know, it was insane to wear them to an event outside in November, but they were just so perfect with the dress that I had to risk the cold to show them off.
Nat was at the front door gushing to Kingston about his football game on Friday night, so I took a moment to look in on Mom and Reg. They were at their usual spot on the couch watching Reg’s TV shows, inevitably something about fishing or hunting. Mom always looked bored, and always had a glass of wine in her hand just to stand the tedium, in my opinion.
“You heading out?” Mom asked, barely looking my way. Reg kept staring straight ahead, his shoulders hunched with tension.
“I’ll be back pretty late,” I said. “It’s a date with Kingston.”
Mom sipped her wine and took a moment to reply. “I want you to be careful, Evie girl. I know you like him, and I know Reg has given his blessing on going out with him as much as you want, but boys his age can be dangerous. I don’t want you to make a mistake that will change the course of your life.”
And that’s when I realized she was talking about me. About getting pregnant with me. She meant I shouldn’t follow in her footsteps, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her I agreed with every cell in my body that I didn’t want her life.
So I said, “Thanks, Mom. I’ll be okay. I’m always careful.”
“Good to hear it,” she said and finally turned to look at me. Her eyes were swollen and puffy as if she’d been crying and for the first time I realized how sad my mom seemed in her life.
Maybe she hadn’t know what was in the pills she’d been giving me my entire teen life. Maybe she didn’t even realize what Reg had been doing every time she left town with Nat.
Or maybe she did, and I should hate her for it.
But I didn’t. I couldn’t. She was a human being first, long before she became a mother. And she was doing the best she could to just survive in the life that she’d created for herself. It was up to me to create my own life full of goodness, love, hope, and freedom. Not her.
So that’s what I would do. I would create and not hate, to have the best life I could make for myself.
“I’ll talk to you later,” I said and quickly headed to the front door to save Kingston from the adoring chatter of my little sister.
Nat seemed pretty rejected when we left, but I was going to do something with people I didn’t like so she didn’t have to. So her future would be different than mine, so Reg couldn’t sell her into the same fate as I found myself in.
“You look stunning, Evie,” he said when we reached his truck. He pulled me against his hard body and kissed me like he owned me, like he knew he did. Even if I escaped the clutches of the Organization, my heart would always belong to him. I would never be completely free, but that was one form of bondage I didn’t mind.
Depending on what the future held, my heart and body might wind up belonging to more than Kingston. He had it first, but Valen and Archer were enchanting me with their adoration and affections. Not to mention Ryker. But I couldn’t allow my head to go in that direction when Kingston fucking Taylor was enveloping me with his presence. There was no room for anybody else when he had me in his embrace.