Chapter 7
She tookme off guard and I stammered and stuttered before formulating an answer.
“Why don’t you tell me what you think happened?” I asked her, trying to pry some information from her before I spilled my guts and told her all about the shooting and how good it felt to try and kill her father. Even if I explained myself and let her know that I did it to protect her, I didn’t think she was going to let me off that easily. How could I expect her to be okay with it if she wasn’t in immediate danger? He might be a monster to me, but to her he was a living father, and she was a Daddy’s girl, through and through even if her teen drama preoccupied her from outward concern.
For a moment, I thought she was going to accuse me. She bit her lip, raised her eyebrow and looked like a fierce little confrontational girl. And then her mouth split into a wide grin and she giggled. She sat upright, kicked me playfully with her foot, and said, “You know exactly what I mean. You think I didn’t see Kingston driving you home? I was looking out the window, and I even saw the kiss. Tell me what you did! Did you guys do it? Like all the way?”
And relief flooded me so hard I actually laughed out loud, a ridiculous sound like a donkey braying, but one she loved. My loose, let it all out laugh that I reserved for these special moments where only Nat could make me guffaw like that.
“You saw that? I’m so embarrassed,” I grinned and shook my head. “I can’t believe you were spying, you little creep. And I can’t believe you think I’d go all the way with him! I’m not ready for that.”
I didn’t like lying to her, but she was so precocious already, I didn’t want to add to her sexual curiosity. Especially with a boy like Kingston, somebody she’d liked forever, and somebody who was so god damned hot now that he had grown.
“Well, I don’t know. I thought maybe Halloween turned you into a big old slut,” she laughed. “How could I have been so silly, of course you’re still uptight, boring Everly. Duh.”
“Yeah, duh,” I replied. “How could you ever think I would do anything so wild and crazy?”
It felt so strange to hide such a big part of my life from her now, but it was bad enough to think about telling her Kingston had taken my virginity. So how the hell would I tell her about Archer and Valen without seeming like an absolutely insane sex fiend?
She relaxed at that, and launched into her own story of love where she liked two boys and only one of them seemed to like her back, but why did the one who didn’t like her seem so appealing because of it.
And I got to tell her that the most ridiculous thing about having a human heart, being so attracted to those who aren’t that into you.
We made toast with peanut butter and Nutella after that, and I finally chased her into bed half an hour past her school night bed time.
It ended up being a really good time with my little sister, who knew it would just take me almost murdering her father to get some bonding done?
* * *
After Nat went to bed,I sat down on mine and prepared myself to make the hardest move of all.
Contacting Penny.
I felt horrible now that I’d had my eyes opened. I could see now that the Kings had used the opportunity to set me up, and I was able to forgive them for that.
But it wasn’t up to me to keep lying to Penny. It had never been up to me to keep it from her. I had honestly thought I was doing a good thing, hiding it so she never had to know. But after having everything revealed to me, I understood that being lied to, being tricked, it felt almost as bad as the assault itself.
She needed to know, and I was going to find out the names of every boy from Oakville High who had participated. At some point, I would have to get the phone from Kingston and go through the footage. But I wanted Penny to know about that first, and I wanted her approval.
I could never make that decision for Penny again. I could never do to her what Reg had done to me.
I texted her first and said, “We need to talk, can I call?”
She said yes, so I dialed her number with shaky hands.
I wanted to see her in person, but I was stuck at home and it was too late for her to leave her house.
She picked up, and I said, “Hey there, we haven’t talked in such a long time. I have something to say to you.”
“And I have something to tell you,” she replied with shaky breath. “Can I go first?”
“I think I should,” I replied. “My thing is probably related to your thing.”
I assumed she was going to tell me about her abortion and how she’d used my name. I was convinced she was the one who had been in the clinic and overheard that day, the one who had made Kingston think it was me.
“Okay,” she exhaled, sounding relieved to buy herself some time.
And I launched into what I was going to say, and prayed to whoever looked after lost, wayward girls that she wasn’t going to despise me for the rest of my life.