At least with these bills paid, I finally have some money to take care of myself for once.
We make it home, and I help my mother into bed. She’s still so weak from everything her body went through a few days ago, not to mention still thoroughly emotionally drained, I feel like I’m caring for my elderly grandmother instead. God rest her soul.
I collapse on the couch beside Lyndsey. “What am I supposed to think about all this?”
“Which part? Your mom being placed in the hospital or Zach paying off your bills?”
I glare at her.
She tosses her hands up in the air in an attempt to deflect the anger shooting out of my stare. “Well, I mean, if that’s what you’re worried about, move on, girl. Some girlfriends get flowers and perfumes. You get your medical bills paid off. I’d say you’re winning.”
This gift is a little more extravagant than flowers. Even for a former billionaire. We’ve slept together, exchanged deep dark secrets about our lives with one another. But nothing else about our relationship has been set in stone. We haven’t even been able to date freely or be together longer than forty-eight hours before one catastrophe or another tears us apart.
“You can’t say you’re not happy to see that debt erased,” Lyndsey says. “Plus your mom gets everything she needs now. You should be thrilled.”
“I’d be more thrilled if he were here,” I explain. “I just keep pushing him away. I haven’t answered his phone calls in the last couple of days. It doesn’t matter, he hasn’t called me in a while now. He’s probably given up. I’m not even sure what I’d say if I did try to talk to him.”
“You can tell him you love him.”
I roll my eyes.
Ugh.This nightmare keeps getting worse and worse.
Am I in love with him? There’s no doubt about it. Even after all the heartache this man has caused, there’s no one else I want standing beside me at this moment. I want his arms around me, his voice offering soothing words of hope and reassurances. But what if I’ve ruined my chances with him forever? What if he’s finally realized how wrong we are for one another and moved on?
I don’t want to talk about how hopelessly I’ve fallen in love with this man, when I may never speak to him again.
“C’mon, Aly.” Lyndsey tugs on my sleeve. “You can’t hide from this anymore. If you love him – and please honey, none of us are blind – you need to tell him. Even more, you need to forgive him for whatever it is he did to you. Because there’s no way you’re this upset about him hiding what Jackson did from you.”
No. I suppose I had forgiven that a long time ago. I could even forget his need to take care of everything. Especially since I so frequently saw those traits in myself. There are so many similarities between us, and yet we are still worlds apart.
I would never fit into his life of high-profile society. Not that he spent much time there anyway. I knew what the real gossip was about. How someone like me could snatch someone like Zachary Hawthorne out from under the nose of a beautiful blonde heiress. It was unheard of, and just one more reminder that we were never destined for one another.
It doesn’t make it hurt any less.
There’s a knock at the door, and I get up to answer it.
The neighbors have been bringing by plates of food all week as if my mother were dead instead of recovering. I guess this way she can enjoy the support of the community around her.
I open the door, and my heart stops.
Zach is on my front porch, here, in front of me. This isn’t a vision, nor a dream. I’m really seeing him here.
He holds up a small carton of rocky road ice cream. “I figured you could maybe use some of this.”
“How did you…” I swivel around to see Lyndsey, whose head is so far craned around the corner in the living room she looks like a giraffe grazing. When she catches my stare, she quickly retreats into the other room, innocently whistling to herself as if she had nothing to do with this.
I turn back to face Zach. Every part of my body longs to wrap myself against him. He looks warm and sturdy. He represents home to me in so many ways that don’t make sense. Seeing him again, nothing else seems to matter.
Instinctively, I curl into him. His arms fold about me, and I am lost in the safety of his embrace. Nothing can harm me here. Nothing matters here when I am with him.
“Haven’t you done enough already?” I ask against his chest.
He just paid a hundred thousand in medical bills, now he wants to bribe me with ice cream? Not necessary, but not unappreciated.
He clears his throat. “Ah. I see you’ve spoken to the hospital.”
I release him and let him pass by me to enter the house. “It’s too much. You shouldn’t have done that.”