So then what is it?
I text Lyndsey, just to take my mind off of the eyes directed toward me. I’m not even sure they’re looking at me. I could just be completely blowing everything out of proportion.
People are acting weird.I text Lyndsey.
Her response pops up on my screen almost instantly.How so?
I don’t know. They’re staring a lot. Did I miss something?
You’re not wearing that hideous velvet thing again are you?She writes.I told you to burn that thing! No one has worn velvet and pulled it off since 1998.
More students filter into the classroom. Some pause as they pass beside me. Others casually try to point me out to their friends without making it seem too obvious. It’s always obvious.
I feel like I’m back in high school, that first week I returned after my father died. Most were sympathetic. They just didn’t know how to act. They would whisper about how tragic it must be, they can’t imagine what I’m going through. All the while, I felt like a specimen at a zoo being examined before a live audience.
This is similar to that. Only this time, I have no clue why they are staring or what catalyst has propelled me out of the shadows and into the limelight of gossip.
I think Jackson said something. Maybe he’s bitter about the apprenticeship and spread around some rumor about me to ruin my life.
He threatened me before. He claimed to know about what was going on with Zach and me, but that was clearly all speculation. I hadn’t even slept with him at that point, so there really couldn’t have been any foundation for his threats.
Unless he did figure something out. Unless he found something that looked suspicious enough to verify his claims.
Flames scale up the back of my throat. Not to be outdone by the grip of panic taking hold, fear trickles through my veins in cold bursts of air. My body is so confused it doesn’t know whether to be hot or cold. I don’t know what to think. Should I be worried? It can’t all be in my head.
The professor makes his way into the classroom, and the murmurings subside into a dull hush. The class size is nowhere near as large as the one Zach teaches but large enough for me to feel like the eyes of the world are still on me.
Aly? Where are you?Lyndsey’s message pops up on my phone.
I’m in class.
Aly, just walk out of there. Okay?She writes.Come home. I’m leaving class right now, I’ll meet you there.
The urgency in her voice terrifies me. What could possibly be wrong now? Did something happen to my mother? Was the hospital unable to reach me?
Or did she figure something out about why everyone keeps watching me?
“Aly McKenzie?” The professor at the front of the classroom calls my name. Everyone in the room turns to face me. Apparently, the professor is the only one who doesn’t know who I am.
This can’t be good.
I raise my hand. “That’s me.”
What now?
“The Dean’s office,” he says.
“Go now.”
* * *
The receptionist outside Dean Dawson’s office doesn’t treat me any better than my peers.
Her knowing eyes shift from glowering to amusement depending on whatever thoughts are spiraling through her head. I sit there for about half an hour before the door to the dean’s office opens.
A tall man with wrinkled jowls that look like they should belong to a bulldog stands in the doorway. His piercing black eyes pin me with a glare. I resist the urge to sink down in my chair. There is no need for that anymore. If this is about what I think it is, I’m done being ashamed. A month ago, I might have shriveled up into a ball at the thought of any confrontation. Especially with a member of the university administration. But I’ve never felt so assured in my purpose as this.
Whatever happens, I’m ready.