“It’s Nathan.” I almost ask if it’s my Nathan, but I catch myself. Nathan is one of my other assistants. He handles more personal things such as my home or wardrobe. He can pull off a lot of things. “Is that going to be a problem?”
“No,” I answer honestly before I shut the door. How had I missed that? I don’t think it’s new either, as my mind plays back the last two years of their interactions.
I think my Raegan had been right in her little assessment of me in the handful of times she served me lunch. I somehow can see everything but still miss the small details. The ones that matter. Thing is, what she thinks matters when it comes to details, and what I do are two very different things.
4
Rae
“He’s here!” I whisper into my cell phone. This is the same call I’ve been making for the past few days. Ivan is here again. I keep thinking one afternoon he’s not going to come through those doors, but the man really is like clockwork. Same time every day. Almost down to the second.
“Sneak me a picture!” JJ demands through the phone. She might have gone off and found her own happily ever after, but she is still very much invested in what is going on in my love life now.
Love life, ha! To call it that is stupid. Because there is absolutely nothing going on in it as per the usual. All of this is over a man who comes here and eats. He just happens to always sit in my section and ask for me. Then I annoy him with questions because I can’t help myself. I’m always trying to get him to crack a smile. His demeanor is always so stern and serious. When I see him, I can’t help but stand up straighter because even his posture is perfect.
“No! I'd be the one to get caught trying to take a picture.” I know it.
“Make sure the flash is off.”
“Nope.” I’m shaking my head adamantly even though she can’t see me. It would somehow still flash. I know it. Then Ivan would think I’m odder than he already does. I can hear JJ shuffling around. “What are you doing?”
“Not doing anything.” She’s full of shit.
“Don’t you dare come down here.” I know her like the back of my hand. She’s getting dressed so she can come see what’s happening for herself.
“I can walk by. Sometimes a girl needs to go for a stroll. Get some sun and fresh air.”
“Sun causes wrinkles.” JJ snorts.
“Rae, your order is up,” Jack, one of the line cooks, calls out from the kitchen.
“Gotta go.”
“Fine.” JJ huffs before ending the call.
There has been a shift in our relationship. Are we still best friends and family? Yes, but there is something else now, and it’s not her new husband either. I suppose in a way it is him. We’ve all worked hard to provide for ourselves, and now JJ wears shoes that cost more than I make in a few weeks—and is trying to extend that wealth to me.
I’m not sure why it feels different now. Sure, last year things got a bit sticky, and she gave me a bit of a loan. The job she’d taken in the city had given her a little wiggle room with her cash flow.
I’d felt a small amount of guilt when I took it, but we both got it. Sometimes one of us landed in a hard spot, and that’s when you really had to help the other out. There had been times when she was in college I’d done the same for her. I don’t know why it makes me feel awkward. I know it shouldn’t. She would be so upset if she knew I felt this way.
We are currently living in two very different worlds. I’ve always known JJ was going to make it at some point with her drive and education. But in my mind maybe I thought it would be a gradual change. Something I didn’t notice really. This smacked us in the face. Everything changed in an instant, and I know it’s just a matter of us all adjusting to it.
Her huff on the phone wasn’t because she didn’t want to hang up. Okay, partly, but really it’s about me and this diner and the bar. She’s tried to offer me everything under the moon to quit so that I could go to college. She offered to handle it all, but for some reason, with each offer she makes, I find myself building a bigger wall. I hate that I feel this way. It’s ridiculous, but I can’t help it.
College? It was never something I thought about. I did okay in school. JJ killed it. She got scholarships left and right. She tested crazy high on everything. I went to school because we had to. It got us out of whatever house we were in for the day. And that was all I was trying to do. School was a survival tactic for me. I think what really bothers me is when I think about that opportunity to go to college, I don’t picture anything.