“Do you come to the diner and bar just to see me?” His eyes drift across the table that sits under the mounted TV where I put pictures of Travis, JJ, and me over the years. He picks one up.
“Yes.” He turns the picture toward me. “You’re always smiling.”
“And you’re always quiet.” He sets the picture back down, mulling over my comment because I know I’ve hit the nail on the head. We each have our way of dealing with people. They are just very different. In fact, everything about us is different.
“I talk to you. Answer your questions.”
“And that’s a rarity?” I laugh.
“Yes.” The laughter dies on my lips. His simple response made me feel special. It makes an ache form in the center of my chest. One I’ve never felt before. I’ve never had someone besides Travis and JJ go out of their way to get to know me.
“Ivan, I’m not sure what’s happening here, but just so we’re clear, I’m not one of those one-night stand kind of girls.”
“I didn’t think you were. Not that it would matter to me. I’d still want you.” His brows pull together. “I always seem to want you.” He says the last bit lower, and I think he’s talking more to himself than me, but I eat up those words.
“You don’t live here, and now here we are at my place, it’s late, we’re going to eat and then…” I trail off.
“Then what?”
“I’m not putting out. I mean, I’m a freaking virgin,” I blurt out. Might as well get that out there.
“Okay.” He gives a nod, but his body tenses, and that’s saying something because Ivan always seems stiff.
“Okay?” I repeat. “That’s all you have to say?”
“I think it’s better I not say more.” His words come out thicker now. His face might not be showing emotion, but I hear it.
“I want you to say it. You said you’d give me anything I asked for,” I remind him.
He sucks in a deep, longer breath. “The idea of being the only man to ever be inside of you makes me ache. You know that I’ve never ached for a woman, sunshine? I’ve never ached for anything but you. You make me feel this way. I’m fighting myself even now not to clear the space between us and claim your mouth again. But even with how badly I need you, I won’t cross those lines until you’re ready.”
Well, crap. Now I might be ready. Did he just say that I make him ache?! And that no other woman has ever done that before?! I don’t think I’ve ever felt sexier in my life than at this moment, and I’m still in my work uniform.
“So just so I have everything straight, if something does happen whether it be tonight or another, it isn’t a fling?”
“I don’t do flings.”
“So you only do serious relationships?” Why does that sour my mood as much as the idea of him having a bunch of one-night stands?
“I don’t do those either. Or I didn’t.”
I stare at Ivan, not sure I’m processing what he’s saying correctly. I can’t be. The silence grows. Ivan shifts on his feet, seemingly becoming uncomfortable. The quiet affecting him for once. “I’ve never done this before, Rae,” he says, finally breaking it.
It’s me that clears the space between us. I grab the front of his shirt and pull him down for a kiss. He lets me. His hands go to my ass, lifting me off the ground so I can wrap my legs around him.
My back hits the wall as we desperately kiss each other. He makes me ache too. It’s everywhere. The one in my chest scares me the most, but the longer and harder he kisses me, it soothes it away. It gives me hope that Ivan has staying power.
I don’t know if he understands what it truly means for me to let him in. Not only into my body but into every part of me.
9
Ivan
I don’t think this DoorDash bullshit is as convenient as people think. I had Rae grinding her warm pussy against my cock while I had her pinned to the wall, and then this kid pops up banging on the door.
Reluctantly, I let her go to get the door. I shoved some money at him and took the bags while Rae was pointing out it was already paid for. I didn’t care. I just wanted to do whatever I could to get the kid the hell out of here. It’s a stark reminder how easy it is for anyone to come and knock on her door. There is nothing to stop the outside world from touching her but a cheap-looking deadbolt.
I stare at the bag that Rae took from me and sat on the breakfast bar. She decided she needed to change before we ate. Seconds later, I heard the shower come on. I had to grip the counter and take a deep, long breath so that I didn’t cross a line Rae isn’t ready for.