I pop up with a gasp. “You think somebody murdered her?”
“I don’t know, but the possibility is there. I don’t like taking chances.” He points me toward the bedrooms. “You better grab anything you hope to see again because we’re leaving right now.”
I don’t care anymore. But I do need clothes, so I go to the bedroom and shove as much as I can fit into the bag Celia lent me for this trip. I add as many books as I can fit before zipping it up. Anything else, maybe somebody around here can give to their kid or use for themselves. I know my mother didn’t have any valuables, or she would’ve sold them before now anyway.
“At least now I know you weren’t lying about this place.” It’s obvious Lucas is trying to break the tension, but I’m not in the mood.
“Do you know how many times I told her she couldn’t tell me what to do because she wasn’t my mother?” Our eyes meet, and I see the discomfort in his.
“We all do things we end up wishing we hadn’t. Wait until you get to be my age. You’ll see how much worse it can get.” He stands by the door and waits while I check the coffee can and inside the freezer, my aunt’s—my mother’s—other favorite hiding places. They’re both empty. Either she didn’t have anything hidden, or somebody took it. I hate that I’ll never know.
“Let’s get out of here.” I can’t shake the feeling of closing a door on an entire phase of my life as I close the door to the trailer. I wish I’d been able to say goodbye, for real. I wish she hadn’t died with so many questions. No matter how she ended up dead.
Lucas leads the way back to the car, and I walk with my head down, unwilling to spend another second staring into my past. I don’t know what the hell the future holds, but I know wishing and wondering are a waste of time.
If life has taught me one lesson, it’s that.