“If you want to be my little maid in exchange for staying here, then knock yourself out. I’ll enjoy having you as my personal slave. Maybe I’ll get you a collar with a leash,” he jokes.
The thought of having anything around my neck dampens the triumph I feel about brokering this deal. I can survive this. God knows I’ve survived much worst.
Proud of myself, I get up to clean the kitchen. Ryder rises with me in unison. “I’m going to be out for a few hours. Feel free to make yourself a tomato-avocado sandwich while I’m gone.”
Funny.
To my relief, he takes Mojo with him when he walks out the door.
The next couple of hours, I busy myself cleaning the house, washing dishes, and starting some of Ryder’s laundry. When my growling stomach becomes too much to ignore, I go back to the kitchen to hunt for something I can actually eat. Not having a lot of options, I decide to fix some spaghetti and use the fresh tomatoes to make homemade pasta sauce.
Just when the sauce is done simmering, and I’m about to drain the pasta, Ryder walks through the door. Stopping in the middle of the room, he looks around at his now clean house. His eyes wander around and end up on the kitchen table set with two plates and silverware. His expression is unreadable, and his silence scares me. Tommy used to be really silent right before he would erupt and turn into a bloodthirsty maniac. I always knew it was coming—like the calm before the storm.
Ryderbeingso quiet and still triggers a deeply rooted fear in me. I was stupid to assume that it was okay to cook or that he would want to eat with me. “I’m sorry!” I blurt out, my chest already heaving from an oncoming panic attack.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he yells, giving me his full attention now.
Oh god, he is pissed. I’m such an idiot. My lungs cease to work as the panic attack takes hold of me, like a hand around my throat. I stumble two steps back until the cool metal of the refrigerator touches my back. I close my eyes, making the world around me disappear, so I can go to the dark place inside of me, where I’m numb, where no pain can ever reach me.
I try to suck in precious oxygen, but I can’t seem to get anything to my lungs. Shit, I can’t breathe. I’m suffocating. My lungs burn as panic takes full control over my body.
Ice cold water splashes in my face, dragging me back to reality. I suck in a sharp breath and open my eyes. The skin on my face and chest feels like a thousand little needle pricks. I blink rapidly until the water clinging to my eyelashes lets me see again. Ryder is standing in front of me, holding an empty glass of water.
“Wow, that guy really did a number on you,” he says before returning to the kitchen table and taking a seat in front of one of the plates. “Are you going to bring me some food or what?”
Unable to move yet, I concentrate on the water droplets running down my face and dripping onto my shirt in a steady rhythm. I just stand there for a long time. Ryder says nothing else. He just sits patiently at the table.
When I’m finally able to compose myself, I wipe my face down using a kitchen towel and take the baked mozzarella out of the oven.
I finish draining the pasta and place it into the large bowl I prepared. Pouring the sauce on top of it completes my simple meal creation. I take the bowl and the mozzarella to the table and sit down next to Ryder, who is still looking at me patiently. I use the serving spoon to give him a large portion, filling my plate with a much smaller one before adding some mozzarella pieces to each plate.
“You used to not like mozzarella or anything with tomatoes in it,” Ryder points out while I take a bite of the breaded cheese.
“I got over my pickiness with food.” I shrug. I still don’t like either, but I’ll eat them now. Anything is better than starving.
“Why didn’t you stay with your parents after you left him?”
“That would be the first place he would have looked for me and…” I trail off, trying to keep my emotion in check while I talk. “Also, I haven’t talked to them in three years.”
Glancing over at Ryder, I see his features register the surprise, but he asks no more questions. The truth is, I thought about it, about calling them, but I think the damage between us is too extensive. I’m nothing but a disappointment to them now.
We finish our meal in silence, which is fine by me. This is actually nice. Sitting together at the table and eating dinner like this makes me feel like a normal person instead of a slave.
Ryder finishes every bite of the generous portion I gave him before leaning back in his chair.
“That was pretty good. I think I can get used to this.” He motions around the room with his hand. “Coming home to a clean house, food ready to eat, pussy available to fuck.” His eyes land on my still wet shirt. The fabric is clinging to my skin, revealing a lack of bra. Ryder’s eyes linger on my nipples, whicharenow standing at attention.
He gets up so quickly his chair skids across the floor, making a squeaking noise. “Bedroom. Naked. Now.”