“Nothing.” His voice came out choked as I looked back athim.
“Nothing?” Iasked.
He shook his head. “I’m glad you came with me today, Princess,” he said, reverting to my nickname. I smiled, the movement soft and warm. What adoofus.
“I’m glad I came too,” I admitted. Then I took a breath and squared my shoulders as I looked at him. I wanted him to know how serious I was. “I’m your friend. If youeverneed me all you have to do isask.”
We stared at each other for several more impossibly long seconds. I figured he understood and maybe I was making him uncomfortable with all my serious talk and staring so I released his hand and turned towards the SUV. Texas’ hands gripped my arms and spun me around. I gasped as his lips came crashing down onmine.
My eyes were still open. So, too, were his. But then his tongue touched mine and he groaned, and his eyes slid closed. His hands gripped me, held me, and I felt myself falling. This was Texas – he was my prankster, my friend, my… I stopped thinking as my eyes closed and I relaxed in his arms. A small part of me screamed that this was wrong, that I should push him back and explain exactly why we couldn’t do this. The kiss didn’t feel wrong though. It felt very,veryright.
My knees felt weak. My joints heavy with the effort they made to hold me up completely. I melted into Texas, letting myself rest against his chest. His jaw brushed against the skin of my cheek as he released me from the kiss and pulled back. He yanked me into a hug and I was grateful. I was too afraid to look at his face. Too afraid to face what I had just let happen. But I couldn’t be a cowardforever.
The others didn’t know yet, but I needed to start somewhere. Texas deserved to know the truth. I had kissed more than just him – I had kissedallof the others. It broke my stupid heart, but I needed to be brave. If he really cared about me, he’d understand. I would have to choose one – I couldn’t just keep doing this to them. I hadn’t meant to do this in the first place. I might not even be able to choose any of them. Iris might have something to say aboutit.
I pulled away, hands gripping his arms. “Texas, I have to tell you something.” My voiceshook.
He looked at me, his dark eyes serious. “Is this about the others?” heasked.
My mouth hung open. It took me a moment to compose myself. “Y-youknew?”
He gripped me harder and sucked in a breath. “Yea,” he said. “I know they like you. Bellamy told me you kissedhim.”
“Do they...know?” I pulled away. He looked like he wanted to stop me, but hedidn’t.
He was quiet. “We tell each other everything,Harlow.”
“You’ve known the entire time?” I couldn’t breathe. Oh, God. What must they think ofme?
“Were you trying to keep it a secret?” he asked, brows drawn down, jaw clenched. “Harlow, I didn’t think you would do that. I thought you were just...confused. But if you were trying to keep it asecret…”
“No!” My chest felt tight. “I mean, it wasn’t like that. I didn’t know what to think. But what do they think of me? You must think I’m a terrible person.” My vision blurred. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” I spoke quickly, trying to get the words out, hoping he wouldn’t stop me. “You have to believe me. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I was just...I didn’t know what to do. First, Bellamy kissed me and I... kissed him back and then Marv and Knix and now...you...crap!” I whirled around, my heart racing, galloping in my chest. I put my hands over my face. What had Idone?
“Harlow.” Texas’ arms came around me and pulled me back against his chest. “It’s okay. Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out. It’s going to be okay.” He sounded a lot calmer than he had moments before. Inside, I was freaking out. They would kick me out for sure. Where would I go? I couldn’t hold back thesob.
“Hey.” Texas turned me around and pulled my hands away from my face. I shook. “I know you didn’t want to hurt anyone,” he assured me. “We knowthat.”
“I’m so sorry, Texas.” I gasped as I spoke. I kept my gaze glued to the ground beneath our feet. “I shouldn’t have kissed you likethat.”
“Bullshit,” he snapped, tucking a hand under my chin. He lifted me to meet his gaze. “Ikissedyou, Harlow. I’d be willing to bet that the guys instigated the kissingtoo.”
“I kissed you back,” I said. “I kissed you all back.” And it hadn’t all been the guys. I knew that much. “What do I do?” I was back to looking down as I asked it and Texas sighed, nudging me up again. Quick as lightning, he moved forward and kissed me on the openmouth.
“It’s going to be okay, Harlow,” he said, holding me closer. “We’re going to go home and we’re going to all have ourselves a nice longtalk.”
“Are you going to kick me out?” The question sprung from my lips, and I could tell that it upsethim.
“No,” he said. There was no doubt in his tone and a hardness in his eyes that told me he meant it. “If you don’t want to stay with us anymore, we’ll understand. We’ll find you another place to stay, but we will not kick you out. The choice to leave is up toyou.”
I inhaled shakily, then nodded. “Okay,” Isaid.
But he wasn’t freaking out. Why wasn’t he freakingout?
“Remember,” Texas said as he finally led me over to the SUV and opened the door. “You have all the power here and whatever choice you make, we’llrespect.”
Power and choice, I thought. The same things I had talked to Delilah about. It was an odd combination and a heavy weight in my chest as Texas got into the driver’s side, started up the engine, and backed out of the small gravel parking lot. I closed my eyes and pressed a hand to my chest, trying to ease the flutter of my heart. All I could think, though, was...what if I couldn’tchoose?