Chapter 19
Harlow?” I blinked and glanced over at Texas. He looked at me expectantly as if he had been calling my name for awhile.
“Sorry,” I muttered. “Wasn’t payingattention.”
“You sure that’s all it is?” heasked.
“Why?” I asked, trying to tamp down my panic. There was no way he could know. He didn’t. Absolutely not.Right?
“You just seem out of sorts,” he replied. “You don’t have to come with me if you don’t wantto.”
“No,” I said. “I do.” I reached across the console of the car and put one hand on his arm. “I’m really glad you asked. I’m excited about meeting them – yourgrandparents.”
He snorted. “They’re not much for conversation nowadays.” I grimaced and even he blanched. “Sorry, that was a bad joke, but it’s fine if you don’t want to come today. Just because you want to meet them doesn’t mean we have to do it today. I can turn the cararound.”
“No!” He jumped slightly at my raised voice and I quickly lowered it. “I mean, no, I’m fine. Really. Look we’re already there anyway. This is it, right? Happy HollowCemetery?”
He nodded as he pulled between the wide iron gates. When Texas had first asked if I wanted to visit his grandparents’ graves with him, I hadn’t been so sure. It seemed private, something you only took family with you to do, but he had stood there almost nervously, shifting from foot to foot. I couldn’t say no. Right then, he still looked nervous, but in that excited school boyway.
Texas parked the car in a small gravel lot near a plain square building with an equally plain sign hanging out front that readCaretaker’s Cabin. As if it came naturally to him, Texas took my hand as we exited the car and tugged me towards a dirt path that led through what looked like the entirety of the cemetery. My guess was proven correct once we startedwalking.
Whoever lived in the caretaker’s cabin and actually ran the place was obviously skilled and cared about their work. Each gravestone was neatly cleaned and if loved ones had visited recently, there were flowers laid pleasantly along the top of each, all similar to the ones clutched in my free hand as we walked. I felt that it wasn’t right to visit Texas’ grandparents without bringing something. Flowers at a cemetery seemed to beright.
Texas clutched my hand tighter as we turned down a path that became less dirt and more grass and rocks and hill. He had to help me over a few larger rocks as we went further and further up. I looked behind me and realized that we had actually nearly left the cemetery entirely. We must have been at the top most hill. I could see all the way down to the caretaker’s cabin and even where the SUV was left parked on the gravellot.
“What are we doing uphere?”
I hadn’t realized I had asked the question aloud until Texas answered. “They’re not the most social of people,” he said with a smirk, turning me around. I realized we were standing in front of two equally beautiful, but small, stone graves. There was a marble outline on the shiny faces of both and two etchednames:
EllenJohnson
Mother, Grandmother, and BelovedWife
TrevorJohnson
Father, Grandfather, and BelovedHusband
“They actually died together,” Texas admitted in a small voice. My heart clutched in my chest. I couldn’t look at him just yet, so I stepped forward and set the flowers gently in the space between both stones. “They were driving back from date night. They always had date night, every week on the same night ever since they got married.” I swallowed hard, staying bent over. I wrapped my arms around myknees.
Texas joined me on the ground in front of his grandparents. He waited for a moment before finally, as though the flood gates opened, it poured from him. “They took me in when my parents left. They weren’t really parents at all and when I did finally end up with my grandparents, I was a little rough around the edges.” I glanced at him as he threw me an embarrassedsmile.
“I was almost fifteen by the time I got dumped on their doorstep. My parents weren’t ever really there to begin with and I kinda did the whole juvie thing before I – well, before I met the people who cared about me. When I got out of juvie and realized they weren’t coming to pick me up, I kinda just felt lost. I was too old to get adopted, not that anyone would want a kid with a record. I’m really thankful that my grandparents gave me a place – they had been begging my mom – she was their daughter after all – to come see them for years. But she got caught up with my dadand…”
Texas paused and his whole demeanor was stiff as he faced forward, thinking of his dad, I guessed. “My dad,” he tried again, “wasn’t the nicest of people.” My stomach clenched and my throat dried. Living little fire ants crawled under my skin – they weren’t actually there. It was just anger. I looked at Texas and I saw someone, my friend, someone that had helped me when I most needed it and I knew exactly what he was saying. His dad had been abusive. I didn’t know if he meant towards his mom or towards him – but it didn’t matter to me. If the man had been there right then, I would have punched him in the face for putting that kind of pain in myfriend.
I leaned over and slid a hand down his arm until I reached his hand. When I did, he let me tangle my fingers with his. I wanted to tell him it was okay and that whatever he said would be in the past and that nothing could touch him, but the words stuck in my throat. I think he understood though, because in the next moment Texas released a deep, pent up breath of relief and sagged against the ground. My cheek touched his shoulder and I blinked watery eyes at the gray stones in front ofus.
“I lived with them for three years before I moved in with Knix and Bell. A year later, they died. We were on a job – I don’t even remember what we were doing, and Alex called us and Knix just told me to pack my stuff and head back. I was so mad. I thought, ‘this is it, they’re kicking me out. They don’t want me.’ Then I got back, and Alex sat me down and explained what happenedand…”
Wind blew across my shoulders, lifting the strands of my hair. They danced in front of my face for several moments until I shoved them back with coldfingers.
“I cried,” Texas admitted with reddened cheeks. He looked like he would again, his eyes were shiny. So were mine, if I was being honest. “I hadn’t cried since I was a kid and got beat up for the first time.” His jaw worked, and he ducked hishead.
We sat there like that for, I didn’t know how long. It was special, though. That much I knew. He hadn’t brought Bellamy or Marv or even Knix – all of whom I knew he trusted and loved. They were his family. He had brought me. It meant that he trusted me too. That maybe...just maybe the door to Iris was opening a little bit wider, but more importantly the door to the guys –myguys – was wideningtoo.
When we managed to compose ourselves and Texas suggested that we head back, I took his hand and held it tightly for the rest of the walk back to the SUV. The sky was a beautiful blue with tiny white puffs of clouds in the distance. The smell of honeysuckles on the air and the low hum of someone mowing grass somewhere in the background were relaxing. Texas stopped as we hit the gravel parking lot. Startled by the abruptness of the movement, I turned to look athim.
His eyes were more serious than I had ever seen them. So serious, it scared me a little bit. “Texas?” I reached up and touched his cheek. “Are you okay?” He continued to look down at me, unblinking, and didn’t say anything. I dropped my hand and shuffled away a bit, but somehow my hand didn’t let go. “Texas? You’re freaking me out? What’s wrong?” I lookedaround.