Epilogue
My hands trembled as I sat on the couch. I wondered if it would be the last time. I was that sure that they would kick me out now that they knew that I had kissed all of them.All of them!Even I couldn't believe it myself and I had been there. Each and every time. I had kissed a few of them more than once...done other things as well. I peeked up through mylashes.
Knix was seated in front of me, on the coffee table. The guys liked to do that, I realized. They had done the same thing when I had first met them, back when they had lived in the condo. He didn't look angry and I took hope from that. Then I made myself squash it down. Just because he didn't look angry didn't mean I would be allowed tostay.
They were nice guys. They probably wouldn't kick me out. I was just overreacting. But they probablywouldpass me on to a different team. I didn't want that. I didn't realize how badly I wanted to be onthisteam until I was facing down the wrong end of a shotgun and staring the death of my Iris career in the face. That was ridiculous. What was I doing? I took abreath.
"Okay," I began. "So... you know about..." I didn't know how to continue but I guessed my taking the initiative to begin the conversation jump started them because Marv stepped forward, around the side of the plush chair across the room that Bellamy wasin.
Just as he opened his mouth, though, Knix cut him off. "Yes, Little Bit, we knew," Knix said. His fingers twitched and clenched on his thighs. I wondered if he wanted to take my hand. I really,reallywanted him to take my hand right now. I felt like I wasfloundering.
"We understand that you're confused," Texas piped up. "I didn't mean to kiss you today when I... when we went to the cemetery." I had expected him to blush, but he didn't. Texas held his head high and looked straight at me as he said it. I was the one blushing... fiercely. "But it happened and I'm okay with it. I wanted you to know that I like youtoo."
"We all like you, it seems," Marv said finally. His voice was gruff, and he didn't sound happy about it, but neither did he sound accusing. I took that as a small victory. I didn't know what the prize was, but that meant things could be salvagedright?
"Okay," I said again. I sucked in a breath. "So, we stop." I nodded. "Yea. No more kissing. Or..." my gaze slid to Bellamy, who watched me with heated eyes, "anythingelse."
All four of them shook their heads. "That's not gonna work, Little Bit," Knix said. "We like you. All of us really like you. We've talked about this and there's no reason that you can't...date?" Knix's deep voice went up at the end like he was asking a question. It wasn't completely there, just barely, as if he wereunsure.
"Date?" I asked dumbly. "I don'tunderstand."
"Us, Princess," Texas answered. "You could date us and... then um..." he looked around at the group, but all eyes were – unfortunately – fixated on me, "you could choose who you wanted to bewith."
My eyes bulged. I gaped at the four of them. "Are you crazy?" I asked. I was serious. "That ideais–"
"I don't share," Marv stated firmly. His eyes were on me and they were just as heated as Bellamy's...maybe even more so? No, that couldn't be right. "I don't like sharing." He amended, but I think it was less for me and more for the otherguys.
"How am I supposed to choose?" I asked. I stood up and shook my head. "No, that isn'tfair."
"Harlow–" Knix started. He stood as well and when I tried to back up a step – why did he have to be so damn tall? – the backs of my knees bumped into thecouch.
I put my hands up. "It's not fair to you," I said. "To any of you. I didn't mean for this tohappen."
"We know you didn't, Sweetheart," saidBellamy.
I turned my gaze to the side and he was standing as well. They all were now. I felt surrounded, caged in. I scooted out from in front ofKnix.
"I-I can't think," I stuttered. "This is... a lot, toomuch."
"What did you think would happen?" Bellamyasked.
My shoulders tensed even though he said it gently. He didn't sound angry though. In fact, if anything, he sounded understanding and that made me feel evenworse.
"I don't know," I said. "I didn't plan this. I didn't plan to–" I gestured at the four of them. "You all just kind of came out of nowhere. This all happened sofast."
"We get that, Sweetheart," Bellamy said and strangely enough, it seemed that he did – that they did. They understood. It's why they weren't mad at me. Marv may have been tense, but he wasn't mad. Bellamy approached me slowly. Everyone else remained completely still, watching, waiting. For what? I didn't know. Bellamy took my head and looked into my eyes. I felt both lost and safe in the same breath when I looked up athim.
"Trust us," he whispered. "I know it's a scary thing toconsider–"
I snorted, my cheeks still red. "Dating four guys is definitelyscary."
He smiled. A quick quirk of his lips to the side. "It doesn't have to be forever," he said. "We're all adults. We can handle rejection. If you don't want any of us. If you just want one ofus–"
My eyes widened. "I can't have all of you," Isaid.
Bellamy's eyes remained trained on me. "Will you at least try this?" he asked. "The dating thing? You don't have to. None of us would ever force you to do anything you don't want to, you have to know that. We all like you. We all care aboutyou."
"I can't believe you all knew and didn't tell me," Isaid.