I watch her go into the house, and I hate that she’s right. I hate that I can still see her breasts so clearly—worse, I liked them, and my cock is rock hard. I should call Bianca, meet her somewhere and slacken my lust, but for some reason I don’t.
I head home with my brothers, the vision of my stepsister’s breasts burned into my brain.
* * *
Blair
I stay over at Faye’s. I sleep in a shirt I borrowed. She snores next to me, acting as the little spoon, while I lie awake in her double bed, staring at her wall as the lights of passing cars illuminate it. Tonight was wild, one of the best parties I’ve been to in a while... and the Crew brothers.
Shit, I flashed a cop to save their asses and Cyrus was still an asshole. Why was it weirdly appealing? My first reaction was to help them, to prove I’m not another passing pussy to them. I could have gotten arrested, which doesn’t usually bother me. They are off limits, though I’m guessing that’s why this is bugging me. I’ve never been told I can’t have something before; I’m not the type to take no for an answer.
This city is filled with men, I have an amazing job, an incredible best friend... yet I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop, like my mother fucking shit up and making us leave again. I keep walls around me, even with Faye. She’s gotten closer than anyone has in a long time.
Yet even she doesn’t know about my past, about all the shit that went down. I can’t tell her, not ever. No one can know, especially those new pesky asshole stepbrothers of mine. I’ll do my time, make my money, and then make my own future.
No dicks are going to stop that.
Closing my eyes, I force myself to relax, to try and sleep even though I always struggle. My mind never switches off, the memories crowding my head. The darkness closes in on me, and before I know it, I’ve faded into a memory.
A nightmare.
Screams fill the air, and the smell of blood surrounds me, filling my mouth until I choke on it. Tears stream down my cheeks, cutting a path through the blood splatter on my pale face as I stare at them.
Oh God, no, please no.
I tug at my hands, trying to get free, to stop this from happening. But like a movie, I’m forced to watch him die all over again. His blue eyes, filled with terror, lock on me right before his throat is slit, his blood spurting across my face as I yell. My name on his lips as he dies.
“Lucas!” I shout, and I wake screaming.
Faye is shaking me, trying to rouse me.My scream dies on my lips, my body is trembling and cold, and I taste blood in my mouth as I sit bolt upright.
“Blair, what the hell?” She sits back, her eyes wide and confused.
I rub at my sweating face before wrapping my arms around my quivering body. Shit, shit, shit, this is why I don’t stay anywhere. Why did I let myself fall asleep?
“Blair... are you okay?” she whispers, staring at me in the early morning light.
I nod, trying to push back the memories and reassure her. “I had a dream. You tried to get a dick—”
She smiles but leans over and grabs my hand. “Fine, don’t tell me, but don’t lie to me either.”
I falter at that, and she carries on. “As long as you’re okay, go shower and I’ll make us some breakfast.” She squeezes my hand and then gets up as I stare at her wordlessly. She called me on my shit, and she never does that. She stills at the door with her hand on the knob, her shoulders hunching slightly.
“I’m here for you, Blair. I hope you’ll take me up on that one day.” She smiles over her shoulder at me. “You saved me. You came into my life like a whirlwind. I worked, slept, and came home to an empty, messy house, and you saved me from that. You brought joy back into my life, and I would trust you with anything. I hope you feel the same.” She leaves, and I gape at the door in shock.
How can you feel so close to someone in such a short time? She’s like a sister to me, yet she’s wrong. I didn’t save her. I damned her, and she can never know why.
She would walk away, and I crave her friendship.
I do trust her, more than I have ever trusted anyone. But she will never know why I wake up screaming, why I never do relationships... why I can never love.
Not again.
Never.