Seth only knew where to find Charlene because of Sal. Her car was parked in front of the building, so hopefully that meant she was home. He still wasn’t sure going up without calling first was a good idea, but he was more afraid that she might not take his call. Whatever happened to scare her off, he needed to know. If he could fix it, he would. If not, then he was going to need to accept it and move on.
His head still throbbed slightly, not so much from the scotch as from the stress. Never before had he cared enough to worry what a woman would say. Stay or go, it usually didn’t bother him either way. That wasn’t the case with Charlene, not at all.
He shut off the car and walked up to her third floor apartment. Knocking, he waited and hoped she would answer, and be alone. The last thing he wanted was to walk in and find out she left for some other guy.
As the door opened he held his breath until he saw her face. “Seth, what are you doing here?”
“I…thought we could talk. Can I come in?” He definitely didn’t want to have the conversation in the hall.
“Sure,” she opened the door wider. “I was actually about to come see you.”
That was promising, so he hoped. “Should I go first or did you want to?” he asked.
“Please take a seat, and I guess I should, since I’m the one who needs to apologize.” Seth sat down and she continued. “I never should’ve left like that yesterday. I panicked and didn’t know what else to do. It was wrong. I’m sorry.”
“Why didn’t you talk to me first? I had to hear from Charles that you quit.” It wasn’t the job that he really was concerned about, but he didn’t want to pressure her any more than he might have already.
“This isn’t easy for me to say, but I guess it might have been if I said it yesterday,” she sighed. “I never would’ve stayed at Lawson Steel. It wasn’t for me. I would’ve stayed a bit longer, with the same eventual result. But I freaked out after I spent the night at your home. It was…”
“Too soon?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Too amazing. It was more than I ever imagined it could be. And then the thought that…that you regretted it. You were so…quiet the next morning. I…thought it best if I just…faded out of the picture.”
God he felt like shit. She had run because of him. His lack of being able to deal with his own emotions had sent a whirlwind of incorrect signals in her direction. Damn it Charles. You were right again.
Seth wanted to pull her into his arms, and tell her what a jerk he’d been. But once again, that was going to flood her with more emotions and no answers. He needed to keep control of his own thoughts and feelings so he could actually express them the way he wanted.
“Charlene, I didn’t regret anything about the night we spent together. But there are times my brain functions in a way I can’t explain. When I have something, a problem I need to sort out, I shut down and close off everything.”
“And I was your problem,” she said softly.
Fuck!He wasn’t explaining this very well. “No. I was. For a long time I didn’t allow myself to get attached to anything or anyone. When I found myself getting lost in thoughts of you, I pulled back. Not because of you, but because I wasn’t sure what this feeling was. It wasn’t like anything I’ve experienced before.” He reached out and touched her hand. Her fingers were cold and she was trembling. Surprisingly, so was he. Nothing scared him. Yet the thought of losing her did. “Charlene, I found myself thinking about my brothers. The lives they have made for themselves. And for the first time ever, I was jealous of it. I started to wonder if I could be so…lucky.”
“You’re just as successful as they are Seth,” she stated.
“I’m not talking about money or prestige. I’m talking about love and family. Two things I never wanted before. Yet the more I got to know you, the more that changed, or maybe the more I changed.”
“I think I was changing too.”
“I know we’ve known each other for more than a year, but I didn’t really get to know who you really were until recently.”
“You mean more than just a chatterbox?” she asked.
“Even now I realize that your chatter isn’t just words. They mean something when someone takes the time to listen. And when I finally stopped long enough to hear you, I was…”
“Please don’t say shocked,” she begged.
“Amazed. You’re right. You don’t belong at Lawson Steel. You’re capable of so much more.”
Charlene blushed. “Thank you. Is that what you came here to tell me? Charles already offered me a letter of recommendation. I don’t think I need two.”
Was it his imagination or was there a slight curl to her lovely lips? “I’m sure mine would be much more impressive, yet probably not something you could share.”
She raised a brow. “Really? And what would yours say?”
He walked right into that one. “That you’re not only beautiful on the outside, but on the inside as well, and sweet down to the core. You speak your mind and have no issue putting someone in their place. You’re not one that needs rescuing, but will be the first to save others, me included. You can brighten up a room with your smile and your laughter is infectious. And only a fool wouldn’t fall in love with you.” He pulled her hand up to his lips and said, “And I don’t consider myself a fool.”
Charlene’s eyes widened. “What are you saying?”