“It must’ve been very difficult for you,” Bennett said so softly that she almost lost her control and broke down.
“I didn’t have any friends. No parent wanted their little girls to hang around with a slu—”
“Don’t say it!”
She looked up at him, surprised by the change in his tone. Was she pushing him away? Was the truth too much for him? “It’s what he called me.”
His voice was filling with anger as he spoke. “I don’t give a damn what he called you, Zoey. I don’t want to ever hear you call yourself that. Do not let his words become yours.”
She’d never thought about it that way. Do not let his words become yours. Was holding on to them giving him power over me? Even with him gone, because she had allowed it, his bitterness was still haunting her. How had she not seen that before? If I’d met Bennett years ago when Dad was still alive, could I have broken away from his control, his thumb, and not be so darn messed up now? I wasn’t a whore. I certainly have never been a slut. I’m not worthless. I’m not stupid. Bennett was right. I don’t need to hide behind the woman my father declared me to be.
“You’re right. It’s a... habit I guess. I never speak it out loud. I only keep these thoughts to myself.”
“You haven’t told your brothers? They must know what your father said and did,” Bennett asked, but his tone was once again calm and comforting.
“We’ve never spoken about it. But yes, they must know. The world does. How you didn’t is beyond me.”
“I knew what was said. But I chose to get to know you, and not believe everything I’ve read.”
Zoey couldn’t fight the tears any longer. Everything she’d feared saying, he’d known, and still pursued her. Wanted her? Was it possible? Could she actually get a happily ever after of her own?
“And yet you’re still here.” It wasn’t a question, but he answered it nevertheless.
He got up from his seat, walked over to her, and while wiping her tear-covered cheeks he said, “I’m not going anywhere, Zoey.”
What was his angle here? Yes, her brothers didn’t treat her as her father had, but what would Bennett see in her that caused him to say that? Hurt and pain were her normal. “Why?” Zoey asked, her voice barely a whisper.
“Because you’re very important to me.”
It wasn’t the declaration of love she’d hoped for, but it was more than she’d had before. It’s a start. Maybe someday... I can wish... dream... but I should just be happy that I’m important to him. No. I need to be happy because I am who I am. Not because of his words.
Bennett held her as she cried. He was hoping she’d share something he hadn’t already known, but for her to open up to him with what she had was a huge step. He was proud of Zoey. It took such courage to face even a few of her demons in front of him. I know. I have my own that I battle, sometimes not as well as she has.
He knew she wanted to hear him say he loved her. It took every ounce of control to hold those words back. It was something he’d just realized, but the timing was not good. I love her. In fact, she was the only woman he’d ever loved. But those words would need to come after the conversation regarding her mother. If she could still look at him then, still wanted him in her life, he’d tell her.
They stood there just holding each other. It wasn’t intimate, but Bennett found a closeness he’d never experienced before. He could feel how relaxed she was as she clung to him. He never wanted it to end, but he heard the doorbell ring for the second time.
“That’d be our food. Why don’t I get it and you can get things ready in here? Don’t forget, spoons first.”
“Oh, don’t worry, if your ice cream melts, I think I still have some in my freezer. But sadly, I’m all out of whipped cream.” Zoey gave him a playful wink.
“I’ll add that to my shopping list.” He gave her a brief kiss before leaving her alone in the kitchen. Tonight they’d had a breakthrough, but he knew he couldn’t spend the night again. He would stay and have dinner. Talk if she wanted, but after that, he was going back to his hotel, no matter how badly he wanted to do otherwise. They had to slow things down a bit. At least, until I know specifically what I’m dealing with, what I’ll find, and possibly what I won’t find.