Chapter 5
Connor was affected by the news Krista had delivered. It was something that he hadn’t, or couldn’t have, prepared himself for. It was hitting him hard. It had been just a little over two years since his mother had died. He was a grown ass man, and even now, it was hard. When Ralph called him saying that she was sick, he had been on assignment and had promised he’d go see her once he got back. She’d been sick many times with Lupus, but it wasn’t what took her from this world. It was pneumonia.
At the end of the day it really didn’t matter—she was gone. The thought of that little girl growing up not knowing her mother, not even one memory with her, really sucked.
Sleep wasn’t going to happen. And Krista was so quiet after they arrived at the penthouse. He knew she wasn’t ready to talk about it either. She may be a doctor, but he could not only see, but hear the pain within her. Connor was good at a lot of things. He could protect her, take a bullet for her, but when it came to comforting someone, he was lacking.
Connor couldn’t lie in bed a minute longer. His head was pounding and he could use a stiff drink. But drinking wasn’t going to resolve a damn thing right now. He needed to talk to Krista. Then he had to come up with a viable plan to help the woman. He knew enough people with more money than God, but money wasn’t going give this woman her life back.
It didn’t save my mother.
He tried putting himself in her shoes. What would he want if he had a child and he was dying? There was only one thing that came to him over and over again.
I would want someone to raise and love my child.
How could they find someone and then have the woman agree to…what? Turning her child over was going to kill her faster than any tumor. There was no good answer to what she was facing. The only thing would be if they could find her family. Then she wouldn’t need to face this alone.
He pulled on his jeans and headed for the kitchen. Coffee. He needed plenty of coffee. Connor was halfway through the living room when he heard her voice.
“You couldn’t sleep either.”
There weren’t any lights on so he walked over and turned on a side table lamp, not wanting it to be too bright either. Krista was lying on the couch with a pillow under her head and a blanket tucked around all her. She curled her legs up, to provide him a spot to sit.
Connor brushed the blanket out from beneath him as he sat. “Couldn’t stop thinking about what I should do,” he admitted.
“We,” she responded.
He turned and looked at her. “Krista, whether it is me or we, I still have no idea what needs to be done.” I only know what we can’t do. We can’t save her.
“I know this is going to sound crazy, but I think we should meet with her and maybe talk her into coming back with us.”
Yup. That’s crazy.
“Krista, we couldn’t even communicate with her. How the hell do you expect for us to convince her to come back with us. And before you answer that, there is no us. You live in Vermont and I’m in Boston right now.”
She sat up and said, “Of course I know there isn’t an us, at least not as a couple. What I was talking about is both of us helping her.”
“I still don’t see how that is possible. Krista, I know you want to save everyone, but you can’t. Trust me. Sometimes all you can do is…”
“Don’t you dare say walk away. You promised me you’d help her. You came all this way to help. Why are you backing out now?” she asked.
He had come to help himself. To get the media set straight. Only to put an end to the misunderstanding before it went any further. At no point had a long-term commitment ever entered into his mind. Krista might be saying the words, but he knew what she wanted. She wanted him to step up to the plate. What she didn’t understand was that he wasn’t that guy. A baby left in his care would be as good as leaving it alone on the sidewalk. He’s never even had a pet. There were things he was good at, and damn good at, but nurturing sure in hell wasn’t one of them. Hell, he barely was a decent big brother when Kollette was young. If it hadn’t been for his mother insisting they spend time together, he and Kollette might not be close now.
I might not be an asshole, but I’m no angel either.
“We haven’t even talked about what it is she needs. Hell Krista, we don’t even know what she wants. For all we know, when we go see her, she could send us away. Not everyone wants help. Sometimes they want to be left alone,” he stated. Krista sat quietly looking at him until he couldn’t stand her silence any longer. Which was funny, because normally he’d prefer it that way. “What did I say now?”
“It’s more like what you’re not saying.”
He didn’t like riddles. “And what is it that you believe I am not saying? Because I believe I’m being very clear.” Well as clear as he could be without saying, hell no I’m not doing this.
“Connor, I’m trying to look at things in a positive way.”
“I don’t see how. You are the one who told me there is nothing that can be done for her. So tell me, what is the bright side about any of this?” Because he really couldn’t see any.
Krista reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. “She has us. There are people who truly have no one, but she has us.”
And there it was again. Krista using the word us. He could not be there for the woman and child but Krista could. He didn’t even have any medical knowledge in how to help or care for someone with a terminal diagnosis.