Oh, I’ve thought about that more than once.
“Karrol, you know we shouldn’t talk like this. It’s not…right,” I said firmly.
“Kyleigh, just because we’re not supposed to talk about those feelings, doesn’t mean they don’t exist. I have felt the same way for someone. It’s a wonderful feeling. You feel…alive. You feel…”
“You are not helping one bit. I’m not even sure why we’re friends,” I said. I was trying to fight the desire, the need, and I didn’t want to think about what it would feel like to explore it.
“Because I’m the one person you can be yourself with. Who else wouldn’t judge you for being attracted to a…foreigner?”
“President Florraz wouldn’t judge me. She’s marrying his brother,” I said, knowing I sounded quite cocky.
“Hate to break it to you, but you’re not the president. We follow a different set of rules. The ones our parents set for us. But I agree that we shouldn’t have to. I mean, look at us, we’re twenty-five years old and our parents still watch us like…”
“The old days when coming of age was the worst thing in the world for a woman in Tabiq?” I couldn’t fault my parents for being overprotective. Horrible things had happened to so many daughters that even now, years later, the fear hadn’t vanished. “We can’t forget what happened, or we risk it happening again,” I reminded Karrol. “Even President Florraz tells us that.”
“It sucks, doesn’t it? I mean we have a woman as president, but still the cruelty of our past lingers. I wonder if she is marrying a guy from Ireland just to show us that we’re not the same Tabiq that we were before. That it’s okay for us to live and love who we want. I mean, you must admit, she is bold and confident and…”
“Courageous. But I don’t think all those positive speeches she gives us are meant to be a stamp of approval to do what we want. I think it’s deeper than that,” I explained. “Not that I’m as smart as she is, but I think it has to do with moving forward and becoming all you can be.”
Karrol chuckled. “Can’t you do that and have sex with a hot Irish guy?”
I rolled my eyes, but I knew that there was no point in arguing with her. That’s what I get for confiding all my dark and dirty desires in her.
“Well, I guess I have four weeks to find out. But don’t get your hopes up.”
“I don’t know why not. You’re beautiful and funny. The only thing lacking is…opportunity. If you want, I’m willing to slip him a note letting him know that you like him,” Karrol offered.
Now I laughed. “Oh, yes. A twenty-five-year-old who needs to have someone deliver a note to her crush. That is sexy as hell.”
“I know. It’s so much worse than hiding in a closet,” she said sarcastically.
Oh, I hate you sometimes.
“I get it. Nothing is going to happen unless I make it happen.”
“Exactly. I’ll call you tomorrow, and I’m hoping that you have something more interesting to tell me. After all, there are only two hot redheaded men on this island and one is already spoken for,” she said.
“Please don’t tell me you want him, too,” I sighed.
“Nope. I actually see myself with a blonde, but there aren’t any of those here. Guess I’m going to have to do some traveling if I’m ever going to find love.”
“Who ever said I was in love? I’m just attracted to him, that’s all. I don’t know anything about him. He could be a complete jerk.” A very sexy jerk, but still a jerk.
“Or he’s the man of your dreams. And if you keep hiding in closets or behind curtains, you’ll never know.”
At least I’ll have him in my dreams.
“You’re right. And work starts early tomorrow, so I’ll talk to you later. Thanks again for listening, Karrol. You’re a good friend.”
“I know,” she said smugly. “I’d say sweet dreams, but I know you’re hoping for erotic ones,” she teased.
Before I could say anything, Karrol ended the call.
I gave a little huff. Best friends never cut you any slack.And they’re usually right.
Karrol made it sound like four weeks was a lot, but Liam had been here for eight weeks already, and I hadn’t even uttered a word to him.
I’m not sure I’ll ever get the courage to look out the window again.
I took off my nurse’s uniform and went to shower. If only I could wash away the need to be with him! But I don’t think that’s going away until he does.