“What is it about him that you have doubts about?” I asked.
“He is deeply committed to Ireland. Did you know he’s been offered several other good opportunities out of the country and has turned them all down?” Logan asked.
No, I didn’t.
Although Finn had said he would consider taking the job, he never really said yes. Maybe this was a pattern for him.
“Did you speak to him about that?” I asked.
“I did. He said this was his home and wasn’t going to leave it for just a job. That makes me believe we should continue with our search. Finn mentioned he would be coming to Tabiq to see the hospital personally, but I don’t think he’ll accept the position. Not after meeting with him,” he said.
That news was not only disappointing, but shocking. My heart felt like it was breaking. That made absolutely no sense - we’d only known each other about a week. How could I become attached so quickly?
Last night I had debated kissing him. But I resisted because I knew if I did, I wouldn’t have wanted to stop. Things were already complicated - I didn’t need to add uncontrollable desire into the mix.
“Reesa, I am not telling you all this to hurt you,” he said. “I thought you’d want to know so you don’t…”
“Thank you, Logan. Don’t worry. Finn and I are only friends.” And maybe even that is a stretch, considering he didn’t bother to tell me about this.
“There is another doctor we could go and meet. He’s in Scotland. Would you like me to make the arrangements?” Logan offered.
I knew Logan felt this was dragging out longer than he expected. But he agreed that we didn’t want a person coming to Tabiq just temporarily. Maybe I was the one looking for something too great. It’s possible that the person I had envisioned taking over, doesn’t exist.
I shook my head. “Logan, during this search you have presented me with several viable candidates. Thank you for working so hard on this. I think it’s time I go back to Tabiq and review their files. I promise you I’ll make my decision within the week.”
“Are you saying that Finn is no longer a candidate?” he asked.
Those words couldn’t leave my lips. It hurt just thinking about saying them. “All I am asking for is a week.”
“Understood. I’ll have all the files ready for you when we board the jet. The pilot said takeoff is scheduled in two hours. Is there anything you want to do or anyone you want to see before we head to the airport?” he asked.
“No. I’ll be ready whenever you are.”
He nodded and left. I headed back out onto the balcony. I couldn’t help myself. I scanned the parking lot one last time, hoping Finn would show up. I had so many things to ask him, but not in a text, not on the phone.
Are you really coming to Tabiq, Finn? Do you have any intention of staying or are you just humoring me?
I walked back into my room, closed the balcony doors, and drew the drapes, shutting out the light. I was afraid of what the answers might be. Right now, all I could do was close myself off and prepare to be President Florraz again.
President Florraz, the rock. I don’t need anyone.
I plopped onto the couch and hugged a pillow.
Then why do I need Finn?
I hated this. I’m not even gone yet and I’m on an emotional roller coaster. Hopefully when I get home, these feelings rushing through me will become clear. But even if I figure out what I feel for him, that doesn’t mean he will feel the same way.