I look over at Rose. “What the hell?”
She shrugs. “Your guess is as good as mine.”
A minute later, Jackson jogs outside with a t-shirt on and keys in hand. He goes over to Easton’s truck. “Let’s go. I’m driving.”
I frown and say. “Um, Rose is taking me.”
He shakes his head. “No. I am. Come on.”
I look at Rose again. “What do you want to do?” She asks.
“I don’t know. What do you think?”
She bites on her lip. “Whatever you want to do, I’ll stick behind you. But I think if the father wants to be included in the appointment, he should be.”
I frown. “He ignored me for a month when he found out I was pregnant. The last few weeks he’s barely spoken to me. What… he gets to be involved when he wants? Fuck that. That’s not how life works.”
Rose stares at him. “He’s a dick, don’t get me wrong. But he’s also an eighteen-year-old dick. He’s still partly a child, Cara. Maybe he just needs time to get used to the idea.”
“Idea of what? I’m giving the baby up. It’s not like he’s going to have to take care of it. And why does he get time to get used to the idea, but I don’t? Fuck, who’s side are you on?”
“Yours! I’m on your side, Cara. I’m just also able to look at it from his side. Look at him, Cara. Really look at him. He looks fucked. Not like his usual creepy psychopath self. He looks like… scared or something. I don’t know. I feel kind of bad for the guy.”
I look at Jackson—really look at him. He’s staring at me with something in his eyes I’ve never seen before. The Jackson usually displayed to the world is one that holds the secrets between a locked door that doesn’t have a key. Never to be opened. The Jackson that I’ve been with alone has let down that wall but only in pieces, I’ve never seen anything that he hasn’t wanted to show me. This Jackson standing outside… there’s a manic look in his eyes. Panic and unrest and so many emotions that make my already flipping stomach tumble over the mountain.
There’s just something in his eyes that makes me turn to Rose and say, “I’ll call you later.”
She smiles at me, “Sounds good.”
I open up the door and walk over to Jackson. “Easton’s okay with you driving his truck?”
“Yeah.” He opens up the passenger door for me, keeping an eye on my stomach as I enter the truck. I’m barely paying attention to his gaze though, more so paying attention to the fact that Jackson opened the door for me.
Jackson opened the fucking door for me.
“Um, thanks.” I pull the shirt away from my stomach to stretch It out, but it does nothing. Jackson gives me a look as he shuts the door, and my lungs constrict.What was that look?
Longing? Sadness?
I grip my stomach as nausea hits me. I’m not sure how many emotions I can take when it comes to Jackson. I’d rather have him be emotionless dick instead of showing an inkling of caring towards me. That scares me.
He pulled me in before when I was already broken from Logan. He healed me up and brought me back to the living. Then he lit a fire to my soul and watched it burn to flames.
I can’t go through it again.
Jackson hops in and pulls the shirt over his head. Turning on the truck, he pulls out of the park before turning towards me. “So, where we goin’?”
I rattle off the address, and he nods his head.
My knee bobs as nerves hit me.
What if there’s something wrong with the baby? What if Jackson starts freaking out at the doctor? What if I start freaking out at the doctor?
There’s a million things that can go wrong today, and it didn’t hit me until now.
Jackson doesn’t talk much on the way to the clinic. I think I’m happy about that. Not sure what I’d do if he suddenly wanted to sprout an entire conversation.
Jackson parks the truck and turns to me. “Have you thought about it anymore?”