I’m sleepingin my bed when I wake up to a tap on my window. I instantly get on guard. No one ever taps on my window, and it makes it even more sketchy that it’s in this neighborhood. Could easily be some homeless guy looking to see if the place is vacant before he loots it.
I get up and creep over to my window. Peeking out, I see Cara looking up at me with her big eyes and a hopeful look on her place. We’ve been playing this damn game where we seek each other out for some mind-blowing sex, only to end up hating and talking shit to each other afterwards. It’s pointless. I really need to break this shit off. I’m sleeping with my best friend’s girlfriend. I’ll never forgive myself for this shit because at the end of the day it’s just so wrong.
But then Cara walks into my line of sight and I forget every word I’ve been telling myself.
Her voice is seductive, with her silky-smooth tone running over me like a milky tune.
Her looks are alluring. I’ve kept the blinds shut over my eyes throughout the years. I’ve honestly never even really looked at Cara before. Not until that first night. It’s like she pulled the string, up the blinds went, and there she was. Standing there and staring at me with intoxication filling up her eyes and her body was like a five-foot bomb, exploding right in front of my eyes. Kaboom, there’s no going back. I see what pulled Logan in, because I’m pulled in by that same damn string.
Her touch… her touch does something to me. The first night we fucked she touched the scars on my back like they were her scars. Like she was there in that room with me when the pain was inflicted. It made me want to crumble into a pile of rubble at her feet. Let her pick up the pieces and glue me back together. I would have welcomed it, but the reality is that I’m nothing but poison and allowing someone like Cara to see the filth that I am is unacceptable.
“Hello? Are you going to come open the door or just stand there like a fuck head?” Cara barks, snapping me out of my thoughts.
Oh yeah, and her attitude? Makes me want to slap her ass and stitch her mouth up. She’s a fucking spitfire and she’s lucky that she makes it out of my house alive somedays.
I nod at her and duck away from my window, walking towards the front door.
I glance at the couch and see my mom slumped over on the side of the couch with a crack pipe in her hands. Her mouth hangs open with drool trailing out the side of her mouth. I’d be worried about her not breathing except the small twitch every few seconds gives away to her life. And her high.
I sigh, disgusted, and go to unlock the front door. There stands Cara, standing in the dark with a smile on her face. The light in her eyes sparks back every so often, and I feel guilty that it brings me pleasure I might be the cause of that light. The death that lingers in her gaze because of Logan makes him never too far from my thoughts.
Will the death always be there?
Will I always be second place to my best friend?
I shake my head and nod at her to follow me into my room. She immediately glances at the couch, and frowns when she sees the drugs laid out in front of my mom. She never speaks of what she sees, always keeps her mouth shut. But the questions blare from her like a horn. So many questions.
She never speaks about it though. Quiet as a mouse.
Once we get to my room, I shut the door behind Cara and walk to my bed, falling back on it and tucking my hands behind my head. I don’t say much to Cara, and I think she’s finally growing used to it. She does most of the talking. Not surprising with her loud ass.
I stare at her with my eyes hooded. I haven’t seen her in a few days.
“What’s up with you?” Cara walks up to the edge of the bed and presses her knee into it, smiling down at me.
I shrug, giving her a small smirk. Since Logan died, I’ve spiraled into a darkness that I haven’t been in since my sister died. I didn’t think I’d ever get out alive this time. But ever so slowly, limb by limb, Cara has been dragging me out a little at a time.
Cara climbs on the bed fully, straddling me and pressing her ass deep into my groin. “I brought a joint with me if you want to smoke?”
I squeeze her hips. I never turn down a toke.
She smiles coyly at me and bends over the side of the bed to reach for her purse on the floor. The position reveals her smooth stomach and hip. She knows what she’s doing right now, and it’s being a fucking tease.
I pull her up swiftly and roughly, rolling her over so I’m on top. I press my erection into her and glide my nose up the side of her neck. “Tease.” I murmur into her ear. I hear her let out a shaky sigh and smile at the effect I have on her.
“You’re a bad boy.” She breathes in my air.
I growl and close my eyes.
Fuck, this girl.
When I hear a familiar car pull up outside my house, my eyes shoot open and I squeeze Cara’s side in horror. I don’t realize how hard I’m squeezing until Cara whimpers in pain. I release my hands quickly and pull her up. She can sense my panic, because she gets up and looks at me with wide eyes, whispering, “Is your dad home?”
I nod and point to the window. Cara grabs her purse and walks behind me. I push the window up and motion for her to hurry up. Lifting her up, I shove her out as quickly as possible. She tumbles to the ground and curses at me. I’m about to shut my window when I think better of it. I heft myself and slide out of my window. The ground crashes to my feet and a zinging pain shoots up my foot, but I ignore it as I slide my window shut. My window falls on the back of the house, and I know it’s my father car that pulled up to the front.
I press my pointer to my lips for Cara to be quiet and grab onto her hand, pulling her along and running towards her house. I don’t know why, but for some reason, I didn’t want to stop being around Cara tonight. We haven’t spent the night together. Not since that first night, but tonight I want to be around her.
I just don’t want to think about why.