"I think I'm… I think I'm going to—ohhhhh."
Her walls tense around me, and I grind my jaw until my teeth turn to dust, my thrusts becoming erratic and uncoordinated while she flutters around me. I empty myself into the condom, throbbing against her walls while my own orgasm takes hold.
"Fucking shiiiiittttt."
I bury my face into her neck, kissing and nipping at her while she claws at me to get closer and tries pushing me away at the same time.
I can feel her heartbeat against my chest, beating in the same rhythm my own heart pounds. I flatten against her body, burying her into the sand between my body and the earth.
Her breathing settles, and my sweat cools as I pull out. I peel the condom off, noticing the red streaking the rubber as I toss it in the sand.
I lift her into my arms, my legs shaky and her body limp as I wrap her around me. I walk into the water. It’s cool against my skin as it laps against my ankles. Luna tenses once it hits her, and I only hold her tighter. She wraps her legs around my waist, cinching herself to me. I wade in until we’re waist deep. The water slides between our skin, our stomachs growing wet as small waves roll between us. My toes dig into the grainy rocks on the ground. Burying my fingers into her loosened bun, I bring her lips to mine, breathing her in as I give her a kiss.
I breathe with her.
I breathe for her.
Everything she does is what’s made me who I am. She is a part of me. Wholeheartedly. We’re one. There is no her without me. There is no me without her. Nothing could tear us apart. Nothing could fracture our love.
She drags her tongue against my own, and I grow hard between her thighs, even though I know she’ll be in too much pain to go again. My hand goes to her ass, and I squeeze the soft skin there, loving the way she squirms in my arms. Loving the way she attempts to get as close to me as she could ever be. Like she wants to bury herself inside of me. Like she wants to be in me.
We stay in the water; kissing, touching, feeling, loving, until our skin is pruney and prickled with goosebumps. I walk out, and Luna’s limbs are lazy in my arms, her exhaustion hitting her deeply. I walk to the blanket and lay her down, my feet coated with sand from being damp. Lying next to her, I roll onto my side, bringing her with me so I'm spooning her. Her cool body meets my cool body, and I wrap my arm around her, nudging her so she's flush up against me. Together, we warm up, our heat and love making it bearable in the open night sky.
I give a kiss to her naked shoulder blade. The sun has officially set now, the sunset long gone and the stars out in full force. The moon sits high in the sky as our only source of light on the lake. My eyes shift to the water, and it's crystal clear, a mirror image of the moon reflecting on the surface, bobbing and dancing with the light lapping of the water.
I nudge my head back down, curling half on the blanket and half on the sand, closing my eyes.
"I love you, Roman," she murmurs, her voice already hazy, half asleep and drunk on sex.
"I love you, too, Luna." I bring my hand up to the stray pieces of hair that've fallen from her bun and are damp from the water, brushing them over her shoulder. I give her one more kiss on the back of her neck, curling back down and shutting my eyes.
I love her. I love every inch about her.
I just hope after the news I give her tomorrow morning, she still loves me too.
The sun rises, and my eyes crack open. I'm cold, but I'm warm with Luna's limbs tangled in mine. At some point during the night, she must have flipped and twisted her body to curl against me.
I slide out from her arms, walking over to my guitar and pick it up. Brushing the sand from the bottom’s smooth surface, I walk back over and sit beside her, lifting her head so she can prop it on my lap.
She's always slept like the dead.
I play a soft tune, nothing in particular. Just soft notes that spin together into a song I'm not even trying to create. I hum along, thinking of songs I could make or new tunes I can piece together to build. There's a sadness in my notes, and the sadness is because I want to be with Luna, with every piece of her, every day.
But with growing comes opportunities, and unfortunately, I've taken an opportunity I couldn't deny. My bandmates wouldn't let me not take it.
I know Luna, and I know making a big decision like this without having talked with her about it first is going to rip her apart. She's going to be heartbroken, because I know she feels the same about me as I do about her.
And the thought of being apart from her for any length of time causes a sharp pain in my heart. I just hope she understands that this isn't forever. It'll be a blip in time, and then we can be together again.
But we don't have to be apart. Not really. She can still be mine, and I can still be hers.
There are phone calls, and letters, and even holidays when we can see each other. And it'll only be for a little while.
It doesn't take long for Luna to stir, and when she does, she rolls onto her back, looking up at me with her big gray eyes that drive me straight to her soul—to her heart that looks so full of love for me.
I second-guess bringing up my bad news, but I can't wait, because I've already put it off long enough, and my time has run out. I have to tell her now.
There's no other choice.