I'm an idiot.
Rory
I walk out of the reception dinner pissed and hurt. What the hell was my brother thinking bringing up the moment where I was unselfish and led him to his happily ever after? Did he really think I'd be okay with it after what he did? Maybe he was just pushing my buttons, or maybe he was trying to appease me. Who knows what he wanted.
The more I think it over, the more the hurt shifts to anger. How dare he get his happily ever after while preventing mine! Who the hell does he think he is? How dare West take his side on all this! Fuck them both. I scream in my head, though I know I don't mean it.
It hurts. I want to be someone's first choice. I want someone to look my brother in the eye and say, 'I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm still going to date her.' How hard is that? West said he loved me, but I guess that love is conditional on my brother's approval. How stupid was I?
God, I'd give anything for Kinsley to be here right now, to have someone unconditionally on my side. Mandy has been great, but I know her loyalty is with Nate in the end.
I think back to that night Nate met Mandy. When I found out Jimmy the Jerk was cheating on me, I was heartbroken. I felt stupid that I hadn’t seen it before. Kinsley was flying to some business retreat and was in the air, and I couldn't call her, so I called my brother.
I needed him but knew he might have something special with Mandy, and I encouraged him to go after her. He was going to let her walk away to be there for me, but I didn't let him. Stupid me, right?
As I’m on my way to my room, I realize that is where everyone would go looking for me. So instead, I walk the grounds, and when I turn the corner there’s a small wood bridge going over a creek. It's got great views of the vineyard, and it's on the opposite side from where the rehearsal dinner is, so I stop here to gather my thoughts.
I don't know how long I'm there, but it must be a while because suddenly someone is beside me. Looking up, I find my dad.
"How did you find me?"
"I know you, sweetheart. Before you talked to anyone, you would go for a walk to clear your head.”
I rest my head on my dad's shoulder, and even though we’re on the other side of the country, it still feels like home. I wait for whatever lecture he has for me, about how I should have better control of my emotions since this weekend is about Nate. I deserve it, I know I do.
"I've never heard your mother cuss one of you kids out until today. If you could have heard what she said to your brother." Daddy shakes his head.
"What?" I lift my head in shock.
"Oh yeah, your mother was pissed. The only time I've ever heard her cuss like that was during childbirth back when there was no pain medication," he chuckles.
I don't think I've heard a single cuss word ever come from my mother's mouth in anger, much less her swear at anyone.
"Your brother was wrong to say what he did." Dad wraps his arm around my shoulders.
"It doesn’t matter. West put us on hold anyway because Nate's opinion is more important than his love for me." Even though I mumble, I know dad heard every word.
"Did West say that?"
"No."
"Then you need to give him the benefit of the doubt. I think he was worried because he knows how close you and Nate are and didn't want to get between that. He’s so hell-bent on fixing things for you that he isn't seeing it your way. The same way you aren't seeing it his way."
"Whose side are you on?" I shove my shoulder against his.
"Always yours. Just don't tell your brother. West is like a second son to me, and I approve of him for you. I watched him grow up. He's a good guy, but even we good guys screw things up. Take some time to cool off but let him back in."
I sigh, "Maybe."
That's the best I can give my dad right now, and he knows it, so he doesn’t push. He just kisses the top of my head and heads back to the wineary.
Sitting there for a while longer, I let my dad's words run through my head. At some point, I'll forgive West, but not tonight, not this weekend.
Finally, I pull my phone out of my bag and see I have twenty-six missed calls, most from West, some from Mandy, Nate, and my mom. I have over forty texts too. I flip through those.
Nate:This is not the same, and you know it.
Nate:We need to talk about this.