Is my head exploding?
“Are you picturing me and Kay doing it?”
I startle. Rocío is sitting at her desk, black Dr. Martens propped next to her keyboard and a pink lollipop in her mouth. “How long have you been here?”
“Like, five minutes. You were staring into the distance with a weird deer-in-the-headlights expression, so...” She stops sucking with a loud pop. “So, was it me and Kay? On your desk?”
“I’m pretty sure this is sexual harassment.”
“I don’t mind.”
“No, you are harassing me—” I sigh and shake my head. She’s impossible. I want to adopt her and keep her in my life forever. “Is everything okay?”
She nods, sticking the lollipop back into her mouth.
“Is that... strawberry?”
“Bubblegum. Kay gave it to me.”
“Kay, huh?”
“Yup.”
I clear my throat. “I was thinking about a recent conversation we had, in which you told me you weren’t exactly a fan of... Kay, and—”
Rocío’s boots hit the floor. Hard. “I love her,” she declares. “She’s perfect. I want her to be my beautiful California Bride with pink ribbons in her hair. I want to give her bubble baths that smell like cotton candy. I want to buy her fruity cocktails with little umbrellas in them.” She leans forward, pinning me with her gaze. “I will wear glitter for her, Bee. Black glitter.”
I’m a little out of breath at the intensity. “Does Alex know?”
“I broke up with him. Told him he wasn’t pink enough.” She shrugs. “He barely cares.”
I grin. “I’m so happy for you.”
She sobers up. “Don’t be. Life is pain and then you die.”
“Ah, yes. I forgot.”
“Anyway. It’s more important than ever that I get into Johns Hopkins’s neuro program, since that’s where Kay’s going. So we decided to redirect the time and efforts we spent on GRE prep to GRE destruction.”
“Destruction?”
“We’re joining #FairGraduateAdmissions. It’s a whole movement now. People are fundraising, building awareness, pressuring grad programs to drop the test. We’re going to help organize.” There’s a savage gleam in her eyes. “I’ve spent hundreds of dollars and hours on that test, Bee. Hundreds. I will get my revenge—especially after that stupid Chronicle of Higher Ed article.”
I have no idea what article she’s talking about, but I find it easily. It’s an op-ed by a Benjamin Green—who, a quick Google search informs me, is a VP at STC. The company that sells the GRE.
CHALLENGING THE CHALLENGERS: What #FairGraduateAdmissions gets wrong
The new trend is to do away with the GRE, which has been widely used by graduate admission committees for decades. @WhatWouldMarieDo was the first to use her platform to bring attention to the “injustice” it perpetuates, and @Shmacademics helped her amplify the signal by posting reviews of the literature debunking it. Together, the two have almost two million followers. But who are these influencers? What vast monetary operations are behind them? Do they have financial ties with STC competitors? Moreover, these influencers do not provide useful alternatives to the GRE. They talk of holistic admission protocols, but fully reading thousands of applications is too time consuming for admission committees...
My eyes roll to the back of my skull. Committees need to do right by applicants and should make the time. And who’s this dude? This one-man homeowners’ association? What’s a “vast monetary operation”? I want to break into his house and show him that my salary is probably what he tips his pool boy—and none of it comes from Twitter. But I don’t know where Mr. Green lives, so I just DM Shmac the link.
MARIE: Did you see this stupid article? Benjamin Green is officially Camel Dick 2.0.
My eyes fall on the messages he sent the last time we talked, when he told me about the girl. My chest clenches, and for some reason I think of Levi. Of him being gone. Of what his opinion on the GRE might be. Maybe I’m going insane.
I don’t wait for Shmac’s response. I log out of the app and force myself to go back to work.
•••