“Not alone anymore.”
“I’m afraid not, but we’ll have a jolly time with your cousin.”
She wrenched her hand from his arm and took a few steps away from him. Her expression had become a thundercloud faintly reminiscent of her cousin Andrew’s countenance when he was in a snit. “Spying on me.”
“Of course not.”
“You don’t alone want to be with me.” Her voice rose with each word.
A few people passing by cast them looks of concern. John attempted to mitigate the situation by giving them encouraging grins before he turned his full attention back to his wife. “That’s not it at all.” He lowered his voice to soothing tones. “Brand merely wants to help, to make sure you are happy in your marriage, with your choice.”
And perhaps he’d report back to the earl, but that was beyond John’s ken or caring.
“None of you believe I my own lemon I can live!” A cry of rage-tipped annoyance escaped her. “Life. My own life. I can live it.” Tears sprang to her eyes, and before John could answer her, she stormed away, headed back in the direction that would eventually lead to the road where Hadleigh Hall waited.
Well, damn.
It wasn’t a secret he hadn’t a wealth of experience with women, but his wife was upset, and she wouldn’t tell him why. It tore at his heart that she wouldn’t trust him with her secrets. Had he not shown her he’d do anything for her? Perhaps this was how her mind worked. Did whatever she suffered from twist her thoughts and perceptions like her words sometimes were?
That was entirely possible. If so, and she was held in the throes of misinformation, then he had one hell of a wall to scale in order to access the truth of who she was, but he would try. Setting his top hat more securely on his head, he hurried after her. She moved quickly when angry, and he finally caught her up near the opposite end of the village.
“Caroline.” He put a hand on her shoulder, halting her forward movement. Though her whole body stiffened, he gently encouraged her to turn about and face him. “Please tell me what’s bothering you so I can make it better.”
She snorted. A few tears fell to her cheeks. “You can’t help my mind.”
Those drops squeezed at his heart. “I realize that, but I can stay with you, and if you talk to me about it, I can more fully understand you, help you when times like this bedevil you.”
For long moments, she merely stared at him, her eyes searching his, for what he had no idea, but he hoped to God she saw it in him. “Brand will tell me I’m wrong. That my marriage is not true. Just like the rest of them.”
The rest of whom? Surely the whole of her family didn’t feel that way. Had they told her that? Anger rose in a hot wave through his chest. Why couldn’t the Stormes give him—and even her—the benefit of the doubt and let them forge their own path? “I am not them.” For more of an emphasis, John took her hands in his. “Not them.”
“But, you haven’t…” She shook her head, clearly not wishing to finish the thought.
He held her gaze, hoping she saw the truth in his. “I married you to take you away from them and their overprotective smothering that clipped your wings.” While rubbing the pads of his thumbs over her kid-covered knuckles, he continued, not caring that they stood in front of the village tavern or that people on the street stared. “Brand is a good man; my best friend in this world. He is like a brother to me where my own walked away from England and never looked back.” Speaking that truth aloud left pain ricocheting through his chest. “He means no harm.”
Sadness gathered in eyes made luminous with tears. “I’m your friend.”
Was she jealous of how he spent his time? “Yes, but you are also my wife, which means you are better than a friend.” What should he say that would unlock her reticence? “I want to make you happy.” His voice wavered, for he’d believed so much that marriage would have fixed some of her problems. “Obviously, I’m failing you, and I’m heartily sorry.”
Had his decision been too rash and now they were both trapped within a union that wouldn’t work after all?
“You don’t understand.” Her chin trembled as did her hands in his.
“Then tell me why you’re upset and running. Help me learn about you so I can do better.”
A pink blush stained her cheeks. “Am I not a whole woman you look at when me?”
“What?” He hadn’t expected that question. “When I look at you, I only see the woman I married, the woman I would do anything for. The woman who is stronger than she realizes. Whether your mind is broken is not relevant, for we will fight that together.”
Another couple of tears fell to her cheeks. “You don’t kiss me.” When she tried to pull her hands from his, he held on tighter.
“We’ve shared two kisses.” Any more than that and his control would strain, but he’d meant what he’d said. They wouldn’t go forward if she didn’t wish for a physical relationship.
She tossed her head. “Overheard servants in the corridor this morning. Outside my rooms.”
Oh, God.“And?” His heartbeat quickened, for they were finally at the meat of her distress.
“Remember I don’t their names.” Her chin trembled again.