Ah, here was the crux of the issue. “You’re afraid of being alone.” How simple life was when boiled down to the truth.
“Yes.” He clutched her hands, pulled them away from his head and rested them in her lap. “Please don’t leave me, Sarah. I know I’m not worthy of you, but—”
“Shh.” Another round of tears sprang into her eyes. “I promise I won’t, only if you promise that you’ll walk out of this maze determined to change. I meant what I said before I married you. I refuse to live with a violent man.”
It all rested with him.
“What if I try to change but fail in that? It terrifies me to wonder what will become of my life if…”
“We’re all afraid. The trick is to continue regardless. In that you’ll find the courage you need to survive.”
“I doubt that you’re ever afraid.”
“Oh no?” A laugh escaped before she could recall it. “Every day is new for me. I have no blessed clue how to be a countess.”
“I made you do this,” he whispered brokenly and bowed his head over their entwined hands. He gasped for breath.
“Breathe, Andrew. Concentrate on your surroundings. Listen to the sounds of the night, ground yourself into the world, and breathe.” When he did as instructed for the space of a few heartbeats, she nodded. “I’m responsible for my own choices, like everyone is with theirs. But if you’ll let me, I’ll work with you and ease some of your strain.”
“After everything, you’ll choose to stay with me?”
Would she? When she walked into the maze, she wasn’t certain. Now she was. She would fight for the soul of this Storme, even when he couldn’t see his own worth. “Flaws and all, I’ll remain by your side because I believe you’re capable of great things.”
He met her gaze. Moisture clung to his dark lashes. His hands shook. “I’m so incredibly sorry for the debacle of our wedding night. It wasn’t well done of me and—”
A piece of her heart flew into his keeping. “It’s in the past. We both weren’t ready.” With those words, his expression lightened. “Tonight, your new life starts. Don’t waste the second chance.”
“I won’t.” Andrew surged to his feet, pulled her up with him, and then took her into a loose embrace. “You have my word, if that means anything.” He fit his lips to hers, kissing her so tenderly that she had tears in her eyes by its end.
“Oh, goodness,” she managed to whisper as heat jumped into her cheeks. Awareness of him danced over her skin. When she caught a whiff of his pungent scent, she wrinkled her nose. “You stink.”
“I’ve rather let myself go this week.” His laugh sounded rusty, but it was there, nonetheless. “When we go back, I’ll bathe. Barton’s been beside himself looking after me.” He took a shuddering breath, but this time he didn’t struggle. “Will you play your flute for me again? It helps.”
“Of course I will.” She rested her palms against his chest.
“Thank God.” He kissed her again with more insistence, his mouth moving over hers with an expertise and promise that made her head spin and tingles begin between her thighs. No, despite everything, the attraction hadn’t faded.
Much more of this and she’d be lost. It was too early in their conversation to do that, but oh, those kisses were quite delicious and different from how he treated her a week ago! Before they could progress into something more wicked, she pulled away and smiled at his protest.
“Trust must be repaired and rebuilt before we move forward into that quarter.”
“But I thought we—”
“Patience, Andrew. Court me, then we’ll revisit our physical relationship. Your actions will tell more than words.”
And it would give her time to decide if he truly meant to change.