“Oh, I’m well aware of that, which is why I made my offer initially.” She had the potential to sweep through his life and make everything new. Why couldn’t she see that? When she stared at his hand that pressed against his chest with narrowed eyes, he immediately dropped it to his side. “I’m extending you an opportunity to do what you wish, for marrying will give you a certain freedom.”
“Ha!” Both of her eyebrows lifted skyward. “If you think I’m going to forever show you gratitude for rescuing me from a life of drudgery when I didn’t ask, I’ll disabuse you of that notion this instant. Earl or not, I will not grovel at a man’s feet.”
For all her outward appearance as a meek, drab governess, Sarah possessed a sharp mind and a tart mouth, and he wanted nothing more than to tame her. But the damned woman hadn’t agreed to his proposal. “It would definitely relieve the dullness of being in the country, for that I won’t attempt to cover with niceties. Again, because I need to do my duty, if it’s not with you, it will be with someone else.” He shrugged, for that was the bald fact. “But I’d rather wed a female I find interesting and who is near my own age, who can converse on more erudite topics beyond the contents of Debrett’s Peerage or the latest fashions from Paris.”
Her lips twitched. She pressed them together but that didn’t erase the sudden twinkle of humor in her eyes. “I’d be an idiot to consider your proposal given your arrogance and temper. I always told myself I’d never marry a man with a temper, yet here I am.”
A frisson of excitement danced down his spine. The crushing anxiety and heated anger faded a smidge. She was wavering! “Quite frankly, you’d be an idiot not to, for what other choices do you have? Once those children grow, what will you do? From what little I know of the baronet, it’s unlikely he’ll see you off with a favorable reference.”
Anger flashed in her eyes. “I could go to London anyway and find work with a well-to-do family.”
“Without a letter of recommendation, it will prove an uphill battle.” Matching wills with her would be quite the challenge, for she stirred that simmering rage and poked at the annoyance always brewing, but he couldn’t pull his hand from the flame. He suspected he needed her more than she needed him in this moment, though he had no idea why.
Please don’t let me fall. I’ll never survive the crash.
She rolled her eyes. “Fine.” With a slight lift of her hand, she pushed her spectacles back into place high on the bridge of her nose.
“What?” His heartbeat leaped. “Could you please expand your thinking? I want no misunderstandings.”
Her nod was definitive. “I agree to marry you. Consider it a business arrangement.”
“Except for bearing me an heir.” On that he refused to compromise.
“Of course. How crass of me to forget or you for beating that fact over my head.” Sarah’s cheeks blazed, out of annoyance or the reference to begetting a child, he couldn’t say. “After that, we will very much live separate lives, for this isn’t a love match as you’ve said yourself.”
“Agreed.” Some of the anxiety holding him captive lessened. It was a small step, but at least he hadn’t failed to take a wife. “When do you wish to wed?”
“A week from today. It will coincide with my employment anniversary.”
Practical to a fault. “Providential.” Drew nodded. He drew a nearly normal breath and let it ease out. “I shall apply to the parish officials for a common license soon.”
“Very well.” Her nod was perfunctory. “I shall inform my great uncle of my plans and resign my post.” She snapped her gaze to his. “Unless you think I should keep it.”
The fact she had deferred a decision to him was telling. Perhaps she was beginning to trust him. “You’ll have no need to hold a position as my countess. Whatever else we are to each other from this point forward, I will take care of you.”
And he suspected she desperately needed someone to care for her.
“I appreciate that.” Suddenly, her guard slipped. She curled a hand over the silver locket. What did it mean to her? Naked vulnerability reflected on her face. “Stability is most welcome at this point in my life.”
“As I said before, we’re both benefiting from this arrangement.” Though, it rankled. The title always came first. When would he ever matter to someone as the man he was? Broken or not, would he never have value in someone’s eyes?