Sunny took a deep breath, her chest aching from her earlier panic, but still gave him her hand. He wrapped his strong fingers around her wrist, then tugged her closer before setting his hand on her lower back and leading her to the kitchen.
She sat in one chair, and he took the other.
“You really hate talking,” he pointed out. “Why’s that?”
She wanted to explain to him how screwed up the question was. He was asking her to explain why she hated to explain. It was almost enough to make her laugh.
He didn’t speak again, waiting, that amazing patience of his unnerving.
And it did what he’d planned, no doubt, drawing her to answer to end the tense silence. “Tanner didn’t much care what I had to say, so the more I said, the more he used it against me. It never helped me to explain, never changed anything. It was safer to just stay quiet.”
“I can understand that, and it makes a lot of sense in that environment. Is this house that same environment?”
“No,” she admitted softly.
“That’s right. Look, you need to hold your breath when you’re underwater, right? But, if you tried that on land, it would kill you. That’s because what worked when you were in that situation can be harmful when you’re out of it. It kept you safe before but will bite you in the ass now.”
It made sense but letting go of those old fears was hard. “Was this all you wanted to talk about?”
“Not exactly, no. You’ve made some of your limits clear, but it occurred to me…you don’t tend to say much in the moment.” At Sunny’s look of confusion, Garrison went on. “Like when Jordan tried to talk to you that first night. When we’re actually playing, you don’t usually tell us no or that you don’t like something.”
“So? If you know what I don’t want beforehand, speaking up doesn’t matter, unless you’re planning on ignoring my limits.”
“It does matter. See, what’s fine one day might not be another. Maybe you didn’t sleep well, maybe you’re on your period and hurting, maybe there’s something you never figured would bother you but suddenly does. I need to know you’ll speak up.”
Sunny wanted to say she would speak up, that she’d tell them to stop, but the desire to tell the truth kept her from uttering it.
“That’s what I thought,” Garrison added. “See, that’s dangerous. This is a two-way street. It’s give and take. Ineedto know that you will use your safe word when you need to.”
She glanced down in her lap, trying to get a break from his intense gaze. “I understand what you’re saying.”
“Understanding and doing it are two very different things.”
“Well, I don’t know what else you want me to say.” An edge to her words showed her frustration.
“You think I planned to say something and just expect you to fix it? How would that be fair? No, sweet, I’m a fan of teaching. I’m looking forward to teaching you this particular lesson.”
Unease crept in at that, but quicker than the last time, she reminded herself that Garrison hadn’t hurt her. So far, she’d enjoyed every lesson he’d given her. It gave her the courage to nod. She didn’t want to do this, would prefer to not have to face her own deficits, but that wasn’t how this all worked. It was like wanting to be healthy, knowing she’d feel better after working out, but facing the moment of ‘I don’t want to’ that happened when she had to drive to the gym.
Garrison stood and took her hand, then tugged her to her feet. He stripped her quickly, making short work of the oversized shirt and leggings until she stood naked before him. He grasped her hips and set her up on the table.
Garrison captured her wrists, then pulled something from his pocket.
The jerk actually carries cuffs around with him?
She wanted to call him a pervert, but it turned out she wasn’tthatcomfortable with him even still.
He hooked them around her wrists, then used the short lead on them and hooked it to something on the table.
“Does your table have bondage tie downs?”
“Of course,” Garrison said. “Who would buy a table without them?”
She glanced up at the ceiling instead of responding.
“Let me try, since you don’t seem talkative.” He traced the small valley at the center of her stomach. “You don’t like talking about this here because it makes it real. If you’re in a silly costume or in a club, that’s all a game. But if you admit to wanting anythinghere, when it’s just us, that’s different. That isn’t some fun little thing but who youare.”
She twisted her hands until she could curl her fingers around the strap, as if that gave her any sort of control. Still, she let his assumption—no matter how right it was—go unchallenged.