“Are you hoping I back out first?”
“Yes,” I answer truthfully, and he sighs.
“You know the only way to end the agreement is to be married for ten years or have a baby, so unless you want to jump on this desk, spread your legs, and give me a kid, it’s not happening any time soon. Why, do you want to marry your little blonde?”
“I hardly know her.” It’s a lie, I do know her. Probably better than I have known anyone, and it’s only been just over a week. We talk every day for hours. She tells me everything. I know all about from when she went to school to her first kiss with a girl.
She knows a lot about me too, but not everything.
I’m not sure how she would react if she knew I killed my father. That piece of information isn’t something you tell someone who isn’t in our circle.
I know Joey doesn’t care.
He didn’t even flinch.
But that’s because it’s the life he knows.
Death is rarely a shock to people like us. People come and go. You make connections in this world and hope they’re strong. That’s it. I’ve tried as much as possible to distance myself from that life, and I thought I had a way out. My first mistake was underestimating them.
It won’t be a mistake I repeat.
“You have feelings for her,” he states, his gaze following the movement as I lick soy sauce from my lip before they meet my eyes again.
“I do.” I don’t even bother lying.
“She’s a liability,” he argues, then he abruptly stands and walks toward the door. “Your girlfriend is here.” And for the first time, I hear the venom in his voice. “I’ll see you tomorrow, at our wedding.” Then he stalks out, leaving me wondering how tomorrow is going to play out. I push the sushi away, suddenly not so hungry anymore.
“Becca.” He growls her name as he passes her, and she enters my office, holding her hands over her chest.
“He doesn’t like me very much, does he?” she says, wincing.
“It doesn’t matter if he does, it only matters if I do,” I reply softly, smiling.
“This is true.” She nods. “But he’s going to be in your life.”
I can’t deny that fact.
“I’m moving in with him,” I admit. Her mouth drops open, and she looks back over her shoulder, and I think it’s so I don’t see the look on her face. The hurt, anguish, despair.
“This is a lot.”
“It is.” I should’ve told her sooner, but I was trying to pretend it wasn’t happening. I can’t do that any longer as the time is looming so close now that I need to be totally honest with her. She deserves the truth. She deserves a genuine answer. Becca is a decent woman with, quite frankly, honorable intentions.
“I don’t…” She pauses. “I’ve been trying to work it all out in my head. When I’m with you, I’m happy. You make me happy, Adora.”
“You make me happy as well.”
She nods as if she understands. “How can this work? I’ve never had to deal with something like this, and I don’t know anyone who has.”
“You can walk away, Becca. Today is the day you should walk away.” I force the words out, pausing and glancing behind her to the author waiting at the door. “It will hurt less if you do it now.”
“See, that’s the thing… I don’t think it will. I think it’s going to hurt regardless,” she whispers and wipes a stray tear from her eyes before she hurries out of the room.
Did we just end it?
I’m not even sure.
My eyes flash open to knocking on my door. Loud knocking.