“I hate you right now,” I said.
He handed me the sandwich. “I know.”
Annoyed, I walked to the door, knowing that Alec would follow me out. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with him, but the sooner I got his over with, the better. I quickly moved down the steps and started walking.
“Slow down,” Alec called.
I stopped and turned, prepared to say something snarky. Instead, I noticed his limp. My shoulders dropped and my brow creased in concern. How could I forget? If they gave him the toxin, he couldn’t rapid heal. If it wasn’t out of his system yet, he was basically human.
“Are you okay?” I asked, not masking my concern.
“You were right about that pack of yours,” he said. “They like to hurt people who can’t fight back.”
He had dark circles under his eyes, but none of the usual visual damage on his face that I would typically carry. They hadn’t hurt him the same way they usually hurt me. “What did they do to you?”
“Did you know your mate is into whips? Like old school torture shit.” He turned and lifted his shirt, revealing the marks crisscrossing his back.
I dropped the sandwich and walked over to him. Alec lowered his shirt, and turned to face me. We were the closest we’d been since he’d prevented me from running from my old pack. It felt too intimate, but I let myself linger there, inches from him.
My heart raced, my breathing quickened. All my senses felt like they were on overdrive. I could feel Alec’s body heat, I could smell his scent. I wanted to help him, to comfort him, but I held back, unable to let myself follow through on the desires. Once, he was comfort and support. Now, he was a reminder that I had to protect my heart.
I took a step back. “Did he see your mark?”
“I don’t think so. He enjoyed ripping my clothes to shreds with his whip. Fucking sadist. Kyle brought things for me to wear when he got me out,” he said.
“Does Kyle know about your mark?” I was suddenly nervous that I’d lose my only ally to Alec. Surely, Kyle would offer to follow him instead. As much as he’d been begging me to hear Alec out, I started to wonder if that was the plan.
“He doesn’t know. And I’m not going to tell him.” Alec studied my face, his gorgeous, two-tone eyes felt like they might penetrate my soul.
I tore my gaze away. Everything about this felt too personal.
“You’re the only one who knows about it,” he said.
I looked back at him. “That’s impossible. Sheila?”
He shook his head. “I’ve never told her. After what she went through, I couldn’t face her knowing I had a mark that I never acted on. And yes, I know I’m a hypocrite.”
“I wasn’t going to say it, but I was thinking it,” I admitted.
He smirked. “I know.”
“What about the other girls you’ve been with?” There was obvious jealously in my tone. “There’s no way I was the only one.” I tried to cover my slip up by pretending I wasn’t hurt. I got the sense he saw right through me.
“I told you, I had a mate once. There was her. Then there was nobody until you,” he said.
My heart felt like it was shattering into a million pieces. Desire coursed through my veins. I still wanted him, even after all he’d done to me. I was broken. Something was seriously wrong with me. I deserved to be with someone who had my back, no matter what. Someone who wouldn’t turn on me when it got difficult. I would rather be alone than worry that I couldn’t trust my partner.
“I can’t,” I broke eye contact and looked down at my hands, “I can’t do this with you.”
“Do what, exactly?” Alec asked.
“Pretend to be something we’re not.” I forced myself to meet his gaze. My wolf was reacting, clawing and restless. She was just as stressed and confused as I was. Alec hurt me. I couldn’t let anyone hurt me again.
He ran a hand through his hair. “Fine. We keep it all business.”
“Fine,” I agreed, but my heart was protesting. I hated this. Why did he still have a piece of my heart? And why had he ruined everything between us? We were just getting to know each other. What if we could have had something amazing?
I swallowed hard, trying to push all thewhat ifsfrom my mind. It was too late for any of that.