“Dude, that is super messed up,” Kyle agreed.
“Okay, you and me, that was real. I liked you, Lola. I never planned what happened between us. And I certainly didn’t want you to get hurt,” he said.
“Funny way of showing it when you turned me over to my abusers,” I said under my breath. I didn’t want to go around in circles about this again. We all knew it wasn’t going anywhere.
Deep down, I knew I wasn’t going to get out of this on my own. Kyle might mean well, but he wasn’t much help. Like me, he’d been isolated in Wolf Creek. We needed someone who was more educated on the outside world. Unfortunately, Alec was that someone. I had to accept help from him for the moment, but as soon as I got back on my feet, I had to go it alone again. Maybe I’d let Kyle tag along. I wasn’t certain yet.
The one thing I did know, was that nobody had asked what I wanted. Before I pressed the issue, I needed to work through it for myself. I had no idea how I wanted to move forward. Did I want to return to Wolf Creek? Did I want to be an alpha? I’d never even imagined myself in that role before. Add in the information about Alec maybe knowing who my dad is, and I was in way over my head.
“Lola?” Alec’s tone was gentle and familiar.
It sent a little shiver through me.Dammit.I wanted to stay fully mad at him at all times. He couldn’t go around using that tone with me. “What?”
“Are you alright? This was a lot,” he said.
“No, I’m not alright,” I admitted. “Nothing about my life isalright.”
“I wish I could take everything I ever did to you back,” Kyle said.
“That’s not what I’m talking about.” I wasn’t sure what I wanted from either of them. First, I thought I wanted nothing more than to be alone and figure this out on my own. Now, I wasn’t sure what I wanted. I hadn’t ever let myself think about a future as a shifter. I’d only ever thought about survival as a fake human.
“I don’t know how to do any of this,” I said. “My wolf doesn’t respond to me, I’ve never felt welcome in a pack, my own mother stopped trying. And I’m not even sure I want to know who my dad is.”
I looked at the back of Alec’s head. He was focused on the road in front of him, but I knew he was listening. “Let me guess, my dad isn’t just some random guy my mom got busy with. There’s more to this. He’s going to be awful. What if I don’t want anything to do with him? Fuck, what if my mom was right and him knowing I’m alive makes my life even worse? If that’s even possible.”
“One step at a time,” Kyle said. “Figure out your wolf, then we go from there.”
“I tried that before. I was close. Then, I had to leave it all behind to go make Alec some money.” The pain surged in, as raw and fresh as when he’d turned me over. I guess I did need to think about it. “I hope you got enough for selling me out.”
“I didn’t have a choice,” Alec said. He didn’t even turn to look at me. I should be grateful he was so focused on driving, but I knew it was out of avoidance rather than safety.
“I don’t think I can do this,” I said.
“Do what?” Kyle asked.
“Any of it. Go to the camp. Be around all those people who think I’m a total sucker.” I liked the feral shifters. I’d made friends there and it was embarrassing to walk back there after making a fool of myself. “Wait, is this how you pay for things at the camp?”
“No, of course not,” Alec said. “Sure, we might get involved in things that are a little shady, but we’d never turn over another shifter for money.”
“So I was just an exception,” I said.
“None of them know what happened,” Alec said. “They weren’t involved and they aren’t to blame. This was all on me.”
“Sheila?” I asked.
“Not even Sheila,” he said.
“So what do they think happened?” I asked.
“They think you were captured,” he said.
“Wonderful, so you get to go back as the hero and I’m the victim. Again.” I shook my head. “No. I’m done being the victim.”
“If it will help, I’ll tell them Kyle got us both out. Let him be the hero,” Alec said.
“Tell her why you did it,” Kyle said.
“I don’t want to know. His reasons don’t change his actions. There was nothing that would justify what he did to me,” I said.