Regina soaked in my words, anxious for me to reveal more.
“Being my sub means that you will learn to trust me enough to tell me anything, ask me anything. I’ll be your therapist when you need one, your mentor, your helping hand. I know that it’s not easy to blindly trust someone, and I impose strict guidelines on myself so that you’ll gradually give me your trust. I would like to have enough of your trust in me that you’ll know without a doubt that I’d keep your best interest at heart, your safety, and your well-being. That I’ll protect you from any physical or mental harm.”
Her gaze volleyed back and forth from my gaze to my lips as she continued to absorb my words. Her stiff posture was more relaxed now, her raised shoulders lowered, her heightened eyebrows leveled.
“I hold myself to a standard that I’ll never push you past your breaking point or make you do something you don’t want to do, and that if you tell me to stop, in voice or body language, I will stop. I will not make you perform sexual acts or any other kinds of acts without asking permission. I will not force you to do anything you are not comfortable with. I may persuade you, fuck that, I’ll persuade the hell out of you, but I’ll always respect your final decision.”
The smile in her gaze revealed that she liked what I was saying. I hoped she believed what I was saying.
“We won’t be transformed into two people that are stuck in D/s mode. We will still be normal people. As normal as a gun runner and a cartel member can be,” I stated teasingly.
She failed to hide the grin that twisted her lips, aware that she and I were a lot of things, but normal wasn’t one of them.
“Certain words are triggers. Body language is a trigger. And sometimes I just want to be a fucking kinky freak. If you believe you need a break and don’t wish to partake in some of the explicit acts that we might engage in, I’ll respect your choice. If you no longer wish to be my sub, I’ll respect your choice to walk away.”
Everything I was saying to Regina was the truth, except one thing. Letting her walk away from me wasn’t in my plans. I struck down the demon inside me that craved nothing more than to hold this woman captive, fuck her every chance I got, and never let her go.
She squinted at me as I forced my mind back to the subject at hand. There was a river of questions churning in her brain.
“If being your sub is as good as you make it sound, why did your other subs leave? I remember August and Shark mentioning that you break women to the point that they run and hide from you.”
I tilted my head, grasping how seriously she was taking this and realizing she had a memory about a hundred miles long.
“A proper, well-disciplined Dom takes his time and learns everything necessary to keep his submissive happy and loyal. When I break a woman, I don’t break her so that she’s non-functional. I break her out of her own mind so that she doesn’t let her own thoughts ruin her pleasure and foul her fantasy the way she imagined it going down. There is no torture. There is no abuse. If you don’t like what’s being done to you or if you believe you’re being pushed past your threshold, you simply use your safe word. I take pride in the fact that I’ve never pushed a sub any further than she wanted to go. I don’t understand why they leave, but I respect their choice and don’t chase after them if they choose to walk away. The lifestyle is not for everyone.”
Her smile crept up with the slow ease of a kitten. “So, the stuff I heard was idle talk? A misinterpretation of what truly happens? You, you’re misunderstood?”
“You’re correct. People that have never been in the life always assume the worse. Granted, there are dominants that encourage, bring to life, or elicit those negative connotations, but I’m not one of them.”
My hand grazed across her tempting thigh, distracting her from the hundreds of questions she intended to ask.
“Will you be my submissive, Doc?”
Her gaze remained straight ahead although I knew she sensed I was fixated on her. My eager fingers tightened around her warm thigh. We were going to have to find a fix for those damn jeans. She had too sexy a body to stay trapped under that thick, constricting material.
It wasn’t that she wasn’t sexy in them, but her body would make other types of materials come to life.
She finally glanced in my direction. “Yes, Ansel. I’ll be your submissive.”
“Good,” I stated, surprised at the level of relief that washed over me.
With the flick of my finger, I called her closer. When her face was inches from mine, I projected my gaze, keeping hers stuck on mine.
“Why did you really tell me no, Doc? We are building trust, be honest,” I reminded.
When she managed to pull her gaze away from mine, her head dropped. Her shoulders stiffened with tension at the idea of answering my question.
“I told you no because I fear the unknown, but I was mostly afraid of not being able to give you what you wanted.”
She paused, thinking past the uncomfortable stiffness in her body.
“Ansel, I’ll be honest with you. I don’t have a vast wealth of sexual knowledge that I can pull from that would make me a suitable candidate. A lot of what I know comes from books, and I haven’t had a whole lot of opportunities to practice.”
That shit was about to change. Regina was about to physically get to know her every curiosity.
“Do you think differently now?” I asked, liking that she was being open with me.
“Based on what you explained, I don’t need anything but to believe in the trust we build.”