She did this. It isn’t my fault I can’t love her and never want to see her again.
I tell myself to wash it all away, and I try my best. I really do. Something tells me it’s going to take a little time, though. I’d probably do well in therapy if I had the money for it.
By the time I’m finished washing, my fingertips are pruning. At least I know I’m clean. What’s even better, clean clothes are folded on the closed toilet lid waiting for me. When did he sneak them in here?
“Oh.” It’s all I whisper as I realize he left nothing but an oversized T-shirt. I left everything I was wearing in that pile, including my underwear. It’s gone. I’m supposed to walk around in nothing but a T-shirt? It falls below the middle of my thighs, but still.
I guess he didn’t think about it. At least I don’t have to walk around completely naked.
The aroma of food reaches me the second I open the door a crack. My stomach growls loud enough to startle me. He meant it when he said he’d make food. That’s another thing that relaxes me a little. He’s doing what he said he’d do, not waiting outside the bathroom door, poised to attack.
I walk down the stairs, arms folded over my stomach. When I reach the bottom of the stairs, I lean over the railing to see into the kitchen. There he is, wearing fresh clothes, cooking up bacon like he didn’t almost beat a man to death earlier.
My instincts were right about him. I knew he’d be the right person for the job. I had no idea how right is all.
He glances toward me as I enter the kitchen, then does a double take. His jaw twitches and his nostrils flare, but he doesn’t say anything. “Thanks for this,” I offer, tugging at the hem of the shirt.
That gets me a nod. “BLT?”
“That sounds great.” I’d eat anything right now. The smell of the bacon has only kicked up my appetite. He’s already sliced tomatoes—their deep red color threatens to remind me of blood, but I can’t let myself go there—and there’s lettuce washed and ready, too. I don’t know why that touches me. I guess I didn’t expect him to be domestic.
I can’t help but smile when he loads both sandwiches with six slices of bacon apiece. Back in the day, I would never have considered eating that much at once. “Thank you. This looks amazing.” And it tastes even better. I can’t help but let out a little groan at the first bite.
“You look like you could use a few solid meals. No offense,” he adds when I glance at him in surprise. “I saw you eyeing my food when you served it at the restaurant. You looked hungry.”
“Did I do that?” I know I did, but I didn’t know I was so obvious about it.
“Don’t worry. I was watching you is all. I don’t think anybody else would’ve noticed.” I knew he was. I’m not sure I want to know why, though. So, I take another big bite of my sandwich since chewing at least gives me something to do.
This is surreal. Sitting in this kitchen, eating like nothing’s wrong. Like Knox didn’t pick me up and carry me out of hell a little while ago. I should be scared of him. Any sane person would be.
At most, I’m nervous. Anybody would be. But I’m not afraid. For some reason, I feel it in my bones that he won’t hurt me. Just like I knew in my bones he would be the right person to save me from Dale.
“Can I ask you something?” I nod, still chewing. “Why didn’t you ever tell anybody? I mean, didn’t you ever call the cops on him?”
I snicker, shaking my head. “His brother is the chief of police. That would be a real waste of time. I’ve always known it.”
There goes that stormy look again. I know why, too. It never hit me until now. Dale’s going to find a way to pay him back for this, and he’ll use his brother to do it. I don’t know how since it’s not like introductions were made, but he’ll make it happen. He’s just that evil.
And it’s not like anybody would believe Knox didn’t do it. Not with his history.
“I guess you think this was a big mistake, huh? I should’ve told you about it before. His brother, I mean.” The food’s not sitting so well anymore because I know what’s coming. He’s going to decide I’m not worth it. I’ll have to find someplace to live since I’m sure every minute we spend together makes things more dangerous for him.
“You weren’t thinking about that. I wish I had.” He runs a hand over his head. “Oh, well. It’s not anything I haven’t dealt with before.”
That’s it? I sit and wait, holding my breath before the other shoe drops. Before long, I’m not sure it’s going to. “You’re not kicking me out?”
His head snaps back like he’s surprised. “No. You thought I was going to?”
“I was afraid you would.”
“That’s not how I do things. I wouldn’t abandon you.”
“Thank you.” It doesn’t feel like enough, but it’s all I have to offer. My thanks. My relief.
“I’m going to have to ask you for something in return, you know.”
Yes, I know. I was expecting this. “Sure. I thought you would. Like I said, you can have every penny I earn, I swear. I’ll pay you back.”